She smiles softly. "Now you're getting the idea."
12
ALANA
Afternoon sun streams through the office window, falling right on the meeting room table and plastic chair where I'm sitting.
Kelly, my supervisor, is speaking about a child taken into emergency care last night and which foster family we might approach for a more permanent place.
I rub my forehead and look out the window, wondering if there's room at my place for one more. I've taken kids in when they need emergency accommodation. For a day or two they can share Kyra's room, but I've only got a two-bedroom place, and there's just not space for another kid on a more permanent basis unless I gave up my room and slept in the living area. I've suggested it before, but Kelly and the board won't allow that kind of arrangement. A foster parent needs their own room. I agree. It's tough looking after kids, but I'd give up my own space in a heartbeat if it helped one more little life.
It's a dream of mine to own a big house and fill it with foster kids. But I'll have to win the lottery to do that. On my salary, I'm lucky to rent my two bedroom on the edge of town.
But there may be a way to help this little boy.
"Sam will be moving on soon," I tell Kelly, "His place will become available at the Deacons. They might be open for another semi-permanent ward."
Kelly peers at me over her glasses. "What's happening with Sam? Is the uncle ready to take him? Did we get the background check back on him?"
I pull my laptop toward me and open the file. "He's not on any registry." It's standard that we do a background check on anyone before we release a child into their care.
"But..." Kelly peers at me over her glasses. "It sounds like there's a but."
I bite my bottom lip, hoping Kelly sees this the same way I do. "There was a misdemeanor when he was eighteen."
Kelly raises her eyebrows. "What is it?"
There's no way to dress this up. I'm rooting for Amos, but the report is available to Kelly and anyone who wants to see it. If someone higher up think that's a reason not to release Sam to Amos, then there's nothing I can do about it.
"He was charged with assault. It looks like he got into a bar fight with his brother and punched some guy."
Kelly frowns. "He's got violent tendencies. That doesn't surprise me if he's in the military."
I bristle at her dismissiveness of Amos. The man I know is abrupt and can be rude, but he's trying so hard for Sam.
"It was almost twenty years ago. There's been nothing on his record since."
"Not on his civilian record. Do we have access to him military records?"
They were harder to access and there are a lot of redacted lines, including which unit he's a member of. But no disciplinary action.
"His military record is clean." I glance up at Kelly. "It sounds like the assault was the action of a young man who’s since grown up. I don't think he's a threat to anyone, and I don't think there are reasonable grounds to not release Sam into his care."
"What do you think of him?" Kelly stares at me long and hard.
It's a common question; we go by the data, but we also listen to our gut instincts about people. She's asking me if I think Sam may come to harm in Amos's care. But all I can think about are the hard muscles I felt under his t-shirt and his warm breath on my cheek. How much I wanted to kiss him and how I'm not sure I could resist if we were in that position again.
Heat spreads up my neck and I look down at my laptop, pretending to scroll through the file.
"I like him." I look up quickly. "I mean, as Sam's caregiver I think he's the best option. He's doing all the right things. He's transformed his apartment to be ready for Sam, and he's going to parenting classes. He wants this."
Kelly appraises me with her sharp gaze, and I wonder if she can tell what I'm really thinking.
"But is he safe?" she asks softly.
It's a question we have to ask ourselves at every single placement. There have been too many tragedies when the statehas gotten it wrong, and we don't want that happening to any kids under our care.
I force myself to put aside my personal feelings toward Amos. To not let my feelings for him cloud my judgement.
