"Get under the covers, Alana. Get some sleep."
He kisses my forehead. Then he pulls on his own t-shirt and boxers.
"I'm going to check on Sam."
He pulls the blankets over me, and I understand why he needs to check on Sam. But it feels like a loss when he puts his jeans back on and heads out of the room.
I pull myself out of my sleepy feeling and follow him out of the room. While he checks on Sam, I get the couch ready.
Amos comes out of the kids' room and seems surprised to find me in the living room.
"I've put a spare pillow and comforter on the couch," I say. "You can sleep here."
Something flashes across his face, but he nods curtly.
I clasp my hands in front of me, hating the words even as I say them.
"I don't want Kyra to come in during the night and find you in the bed. It wouldn't be good. I'm sorry."
He nods. "I get it. I'm not going to sleep much anyway. I want to stay awake and check on Sam."
He pulls me toward him. "That was incredible, Alana. Now get some sleep."
I pad back to the bedroom, leaving him in the living room. It's the right thing to do for Kyra. But it feels so damn hard.
I lie awake in the night, thinking about what we do for our kids and what we give up for them. And the sacrifices, big and small, that parents make.
22
AMOS
Iwake with a start at the sound of a door opening up the hall. My neck cricks as I move it. At some point I must have fallen asleep sitting upright on the couch. I checked Sam's temperature throughout the night, and towards dawn was satisfied enough that it wasn't going up to allow myself a few hours’ sleep.
As a SEAL, I learned how to nap anywhere and to fall asleep fast. When you're on a days-long mission, grabbing ten minutes sleep when you can is a lifesaving skill.
And taking care of Sam is the hardest mission of my life.
I stretch the crick out of my neck as Alana pads into the room. She's looking beautifully disheveled in the same over-sized t-shirt she slept in and a pair of soft jogging pants. Her hair is sticking up, and she looks fucking adorable.
My dick stirs to life as memories of last night spring into my mind. Alana's soft body under mine was glorious. The way we fit perfectly together was unlike anything I've experienced before. It was too good not to do again.
"Hey beautiful." I stand up and pull her toward me, planting a soft kiss on the top of her head. "You sleep okay?"
She nods but doesn't lift her head. She's warm from sleep, her body soft and squishy against mine. I nuzzle the top of her head, breathing in the scent of sleep.
"How's Sam?" she asks.
"Still running a temperature, but it's not as high as last night. He woke a few hours ago, and I gave him another dose of Tylenol. He's sleeping again."
"That's good."
"How are you?" I take half a step back and tilt her head up so she's looking at me. Her expression is haunted, and a knot of doubt forms in my stomach.
"About last night..." she starts, then looks down.
"Last night was incredible, Alana." Whatever she's about to say next, I don't want to hear it. "You were made for me, baby."
She shakes her head and pulls away and her expression is agony. "It was incredible." Her cheeks blush and I smile as I think about the way her body felt in my hands, and the noises she tried to cover with the pillow, and the way I lost control in her.
