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Forcing a small grin, I remained quiet. If I spoke, I knew I would break down into tears. I needed to get out of here.
Patty’s eyes moved to the group outside and she frowned. “Please don’t be angry with him. He cares very much about you and you’ve both lost … you’ve lost… .”
Before she could finish, she covered her mouth, turned on her heels and walked off.
I can’t deal with this shit.
When I reached my car, I jumped in and dropped my head down onto the steering wheel. Everything was spiraling out of my control, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
Well, not everything. My father’s company was still very much in my control.
Too bad that didn’t make me even one ounce happy.
THREE WEEKS HAD passed since the funeral. Lily had called me three times. Each time, I sent it to voicemail and buried myself in work. I’d worked every Saturday and Sunday. When I wasn’t at work, I was home with Mr. Pootie. He was the only man in my life now, and I planned on keeping it that way. Especially after I’d gone out for a run and had seen Tucker and Noelle walking out of a restaurant just a block from my place. She’d reached up and kissed him on the cheek. I’d nearly stumbled over a poor man who had stopped to tie his shoe. I jumped him like a damn hurdle and screamed in the process. Of course that made Tucker and Noelle look my way. The guy jumped up and asked me if I was okay. We both chuckled about my impressive jump, but I felt Tucker’s stare. Felt it in the very core of my being. When my eyes met his, I said my goodbyes to the stranger and practically sprinted home, ignoring Tucker, who called out for me. A small part of me hoped by seeing him that day, he’d text me. But he didn’t, and neither had I. My pride wouldn’t allow it.
My phone buzzed with an incoming text on my desk, and I flipped it over to see it was Nash.
Nash: Feel like grabbing a beer tonight? We’ll all be at Sedotto tonight.
I flipped it over and went back to work. An hour passed when it buzzed again.
Nash: Charlie, please. Lily’s depressed as fuck, Tucker has been drinking nearly non-stop since y’all broke up, and I’m pretty sure Terri’s planning on killing Blake soon. We need you!
A small chuckle slipped from between my lips at the mention of Terri wanting to kill Blake. My heart hurt for Lily, and I was back to being angry at Tucker. He had Noelle now to comfort his ass. Nash expected me to show up and be the salve to their wounds. Yeah, I was made of strong stuff but not strong enough to put myself in their crosshairs again.
Me: Let Terri kill Blake. I’m sorry about Lily, but she made her feelings pretty clear at the wake. And call AA for Tucker’s problems. Nothing I can do to fix what’s broken.
His reply was almost instant.
Nash: So that’s it? You’re walking away from all of us? She was angry and hurt and confused, Charlie. You know that; you’ve been there. And what about Tucker? Did you ever even care about him, or was it really all a game?
My body shook with anger.
Me: It was never a game. The only man I could ever see myself with was Tucker. I’m at work, Nash. I can’t talk. But then, that shouldn’t surprise y’all, right?
Nash: No, I guess not.
I stared at his last text, my teeth digging into my lip so hard I tasted blood. His next text made me jump.
Nash: Just so you know, Tucker is really fucked up. I know something happened with his dad, but the other night when he was wasted, he kept saying how he hurt you. He can’t move on and he needs to. He can’t apologize to his father, so for fuck’s sake, can you at least let him apologize to you so he can get his shit together and move on if you don’t intend on being a part of his life?
The fact that he was trying to guilt me only made my decision to not go tonight the right one. They all thought I worked too much and my job owned me. Well screw them … Every last one of them.
Nash: I’ll take your silence as a no. That’s fucked up, Charlie. I really thought you cared about him.
“Fuck you, Nash.”
Pulling out my drawer, I threw my phone into it and slammed it. The rest of the day I was useless. I couldn’t stop thinking about Nash’s text messages. I worked until seven and then changed and headed to the gym. After an hour of working out, I made my way home. Mr. Pootie was pissed off and ignoring me as I walked through my living room and into the kitchen.
“If you keep acting like a dick, I won’t feed you.”
The damn cat actually sat with his back to me. When I pulled back the lid on his moist food, he simply glanced back at me and gave me a disgusted meow.
“Are all the men in my life going to be like this?” I mumbled as I dropped the food into Mr. Pootie’s bowl.
After a hot shower, I settled on the sofa and stared out at the night lights of Austin for what seemed like forever. A part of me wished I was staring up at a night sky filled with stars like when I went camping with my father. He loved being in the woods, and whenever he got the chance to get away from work, he always took me and my mom somewhere fun. It was camping, the beach, or a trip to one of the national parks. However, once he became CEO of CMI, everything changed. We went on less and less trips, and I had gotten to the age where I did more things with my friends’ families than I did with my own.
The heaviness in my chest felt like a brick. Heading out to the balcony, I sat down on the chair, my knees pulled up and tucked under my chin as I let out a long sigh.
