They looked at each other, neither rushing to volunteer.
‘Miss Wordsworth?’ suggested Dora, then she corrected herself. ‘But that’s hardly fair considering what the family is going through.’
‘I suggest we ask the local clergyman to relay the concerns of Barton’s friends. He seems to be the person in place who might best pen an enquiry to a family member.’
‘Where did Mr Barton attend church?’
‘I believe he often walked to Grasmere to be with the Wordsworths.’
‘And we are there tomorrow for the Rush Bearing ceremony. We can ask then.’ Dora rubbed her upper arms. ‘I still can’t believe he killed himself. I can’t even convince myself he is dead.’
‘Then where is he?’
‘Dashed if I know.’ She turned and jumped down off the wall. It was quite a drop, but she made light work of the leap, only holding on to her hat with one hand and skirts with the other. ‘We’d better get back to your brother before he sends out a search party.’
Jacob fell into step with her. ‘You and Lady Alice appear to have made friends.’
A little flush reddened her cheeks. ‘I would say rather we have negotiated a truce.’
‘In what matter?’
She huffed. ‘Do you really want to pretend to be obtuse, Jacob? It isn’t becoming.’
He felt a flush of pleasure that she might be a little flustered by the thought of a rival. ‘Are you jealous?’ he said it in a joking tone, but he wouldn’t mind if she admitted to a little worry.
‘No.’ Her reply was flat.
‘Oh.’
She stopped in the shelter of one of the higher walls where they were out of sight of the rest of the party. ‘Jacob, I don’t have time for foolish games. I’ve seen coquets play off one lover against another and I never thought it reflected well on anyone in the triangle. If you want such games, leave me out of it.’
‘I didn’t…’ But he had privately entertained the flattering notion that he was desired by two such fine women, hadn’t he? ‘I want you, not Lady Alice.’
‘Well, good.’ She scuffed a stone with her boot. ‘You will have noticed that I’ve not put shackles on you. If you change your mind, tell me and I’ll get out of your way. I told the Lady Alice that was how things stood between us, therefore you can expect her to lay siege to your heart.’ She curled her lip at that. ‘Perhaps not so much your heart as your appetite for adventure. She believes you are destined to have an exciting life travelling the world together. She’s not wrong. She can offer that to you.’
‘Darling, there’s nothing she can offer me that is better than what I have with you.’
Dora gave a cynical laugh. ‘Jacob, you really take the cake sometimes. Of course, she offers far more than I can– in worldly terms at least. I want you to give her charms serious consideration, otherwise I’ll never be sure that you are with me because you think you’ve given a gentlemanly promise you cannot back away from. I don’t want that kind of affection from a man because it will turn into resentment and regret one day– I know it will.’
He had a horrible feeling he’d stepped right into what could become a serious rift with his foolishness. He had to fight back and regain the ground he’d lost. ‘Are you saying this because you’d like me to persuade myself out of my love for you? Because it is love, you know. I won’t apologise for saying it out loud.’
Happiness passed fleetingly across her face before cynicism returned. ‘What is love? I’ve never been sure, not having known much of it in my life. It’s not the same as passion.’ Jacob wished he could punish the people in her life who had put that expression on her face, starting with her father. But there was more there, wasn’t there? Things she hadn’t yet felt able to tell him. ‘We mustn’t confuse the two,’ she continued. ‘Have you wondered if this… this animal magnetism, or whatever you want to call it, this thing between us is clouding our judgement?’ She turned to walk away, almost as if the conversation was irritating her.
He caught her elbow. ‘Stop a moment. This is important. Yes, Lady Alice is a suitable bride for someone of my station?—’
‘There you are! Have at her and be happy!’ snapped Dora.
His lady was upset with him and perversely that gave him courage.
‘Suitable for anyone of my station, I should say. I will do for her– but so would some other well-connected member of the Ton. I’m completely interchangeable, like a different colour waistcoat. I don’t love her; she doesn’t love me. Sadly for her hopes, I have fallen in love with a prickly actress who is the least suitable match in the world which means she is perfect for me, the least suitable suitor in the world. We are misfits who fit each other.’
A little smile flickered at the corner of her very kissable mouth. ‘Misfits?’
‘Come, who is being obtuse now?’
She gave a very Dora growl of exasperation. ‘I just don’t want you to be sorry for picking me over her. I need time to feel that this is right. I don’t rush into relationships, looking for the first man to save me. I’m not Ruby wheedling her way into your brother’s good books.’
He put his arms around her. ‘That is something I can agree. If this is a ship in a storm, you wouldn’t rush for the lifeboat but go down with it if you weren’t sure it was the right way off.’
