Because it was what I craved. I didn't even try to get into the psychology of it all, although I would imagine a shrink would have a field day with me. "It doesn't matter, because it's not going to happen." I took a step back from her. "I won't be a slave to you, Angel Moss."
"I don't think that's--"
"That's exactly what it would be if we gave into this." I kept my voice level, but I couldn't stop the venom from lacing my words. "Except for a very brief time, I've lived my entire life, and this long-ass death, for other people. I've never been able to just be me. To do what I want to do. Live where I want to live. Hell, I couldn't even die when I wanted to, because fucking Killian needed a friend."
I slammed my mouth closed, and scrubbed my face with my hands before I dropped my arms back to my sides and gave her a level stare. "Look. Despite everything I just said, I'm not ready to die, yet. And I'm sorry I've brought you into this. I truly am. You deserve more than a life tied to a vampire as his fucking feeding bag." I paused, lowered my voice. "If I had known, I never would've taken your blood."
"I offered," she said.
"What?"
"I offered. My blood," she clarified. "I offered it to you. You didn't take anything."
"Incidentals," I told her. "The details don't matter."
"No, they do," she said. "I knew what I was doing."
Why the fuck was she fighting with me about this? "But you didn't know this was going to happen."
"Neither did you," she argued. "I mean, come on. How many other people have you drank from?"
I opened my mouth to tell her there was no way in hell I could possibly come up with a number when she cut me off.
"No. I don't want to know. I really don't." Her hands landed on her hips. "Look, Jamal. My point is, this could've happened with any of them. It just so happened that I'm the one fate chose. It is what it is. We're stuck together now. So, we might as well make the most of it."
I frowned, and somehow resisted the urge to poke around in that pretty head. Something was off here. This wasn't the witch I knew. "What's going on with you, Leeloo?"
She threw her hands in the air. "I just think it's ridiculous to act like this. The only thing we're doing is putting off the inevitable, that's all. Eventually, we're going to end up together."
"You don't know that."
"Actually, I kind of do."
Widening my stance for battle, I crossed my arms over my chest. "How?"
She looked at me like I was a few crayons short of a box. "Just look around, Jamal. Look at Killian and Lizzy, Alex and Kenya--"
"They both had a thing for their mates before the blood told them anything."
"Maybe there's a reason for that."
"And maybe it was just coincidence."
"Gods, you are so damn stubborn!"
"And you're beautiful." The words came out before I could stop them. But there was no sense taking them back. It was true, and probably the same thing she heard from any number of dudes on any given day.
However, if that was the case, she didn't show it. As a matter of fact, she appeared completely taken aback by my spontaneous statement. "You think I'm beautiful?"
I shook my head. "Don't play all innocent with me, Leeloo. I mean, look at you." I waved a hand in the air, taking in...well, everything about her. "You dye your hair bright red, never leave the house without all that makeup," I moved my hand in a circle over my face, "and you dress like you just stepped off of a runway. Obviously, you do all that to get attention. And I'm sure you succeed."
She stared at me for a long time, then she turned and sat back down on the couch. "I didn't realize you thought so little of me." As I stood there regretting my choice of words, she turned sad, hazel eyes my way. "Is that what everyone thinks? That I'm just an attention whore?"
I took a seat beside her, close enough that I could touch her if I wanted to. Probably not a good idea with the way my body was still so wound up, but I wasn't so heartless to just let her sit there alone. "I'm sorry," I told her. "That didn't come out the right way."
But she shook her head, her straight red hair brushing the bottom of her neck. "No. It's okay. I appreciate your straightforwardness."
"Angel..." I trailed off. I didn't know what to say to make this better. "Look, forget about everything I just said. Okay? The truth of it is, yeah, I think you're one of the prettiest women I've ever met. And it's not just all of this." I indicated her clothes and hair. "You've got sass, Leeloo. And you don't take any shit from anyone. Including me. I really like that about you."
