She came around the island and tried to take my hand again, but I jerked away from her touch. "You asked me to trust you," she said. "And I did. So now I'm asking the same of you. What we have, it IS real. I feel it too, this connection between us. I felt it the first time I saw you. What I am and where I came from doesn't change anything."
I wanted so badly to believe her, to give in to the part of me that yearned for her touch, her kiss. But I couldn't take that risk, couldn't put my faith in a witch who dealt in darkness and deception. "I can't do this," I said again, my voice rough with emotion. "I won't let you use me or my family for whatever twisted agenda you have."
Tears spilled down her cheeks as she stared at me, her expression a mix of hurt and desperation. She took a step back, her arms hanging limply at her sides, her dark hair falling forward to hide her face as she hung her head and spoke to the floor. "This is exactly why I didn’t tell you."
An ugly laugh burst from me. "Don't try to guilt trip me."
"I'm not. I just…" She trailed off, wrapped her arms around herself and sighed heavily. Then she lifted her chin, and I could practically see the shields she raised around herself. "Never mind. It doesn't matter anymore."
I wanted to tell her to leave, but couldn't bring myself to say it. Instead, I told her again, "We can't help you. I'm sorry." Because despite it all, I was.
Dark, haunted eyes met mine. “Por favor…please…don't push me away,” she whispered.
But I had to. For the sake of my coven, and for my own sanity, I had to end this now before it went any further. Before I fell any deeper under her spell.
When I didn't respond, she straightened her shoulders, walked back to her chair, and grabbed her jacket. Without another word and without looking at me, she shrugged it on.
And although I didn't utter a sound as I watched her walk out the door, the screams in my head were so loud I thought they were going to crack my skull in half. My body leaned forward of its own accord, as though it wanted to follow her.
With a low sound of anguish, I forced my feet to turn around and take me to my room.
11
ESME
The next morning I hurried into Ancient Magicks. The bell above the door jingled to announce my arrival as I removed my coat and shook off the rain. It was a cold, drizzly day, but Lizzy had lamps lit throughout the store that gave off a warm, cozy light. Bundles of dried herbs hung from the ceiling that hadn't been there the day before, and I inhaled deeply, letting their earthy scent ground me. It had been a rough night, and after what happened with Brogan, I wasn't sure if I still had a job. But the only way I’d know for sure was to get up, get dressed, and come here.
"Esme, you're early," Lizzy called out from behind the counter, her dark hair pulled back in a messy bun. Today, she wore a flowing skirt adorned with a colorful patchwork pattern and a simple black sweater with black low-heeled boots.
I forced a tired smile, even though happy was far from what I felt, and tried to push aside the memory of last night's confrontation. Brogan’s accusation that I'd used a love spell on him still stung. As if he couldn't possibly be attracted to me for any other reason.
Fuck thatpendejo.
"I couldn't sleep," I told her. "So I figured I might as well come in and get started, if that's still okay."
Lizzy's brow furrowed in confusion as she studied my face. "Of course, it's okay. I'm glad you're here. I was surprised you weren't still at the house this morning, actually, and I was worried.” Her dark eyes searched mine, asking what she was too polite to voice aloud.
Ah. So she didn’t know what happened. “Thank you for being concerned,” I told her. “And for allowing me to come back after what you found out last night. I’m not sure where the djinn has gone, but I haven’t felt him since last night.”
“We haven’t either,” she assured me.
Then I answered her unspoken question. "Brogan and I had a fight." That was the easiest explanation. “And I wasn't sure?—"
She waved away my concerns before I could finish the sentence. “Just stop right there. Like I told Killian last night, if you meant us any harm, I don't think you'd be coming to us for help.”
I wasn't sure what to say as her friendly smile warmed the ice-cold chill inside of me. Clearing the surge of emotion from my throat, I asked, "Where would you like me to start?"
She ducked behind the counter for a second, then reappeared with a small box, which she set on the counter. "I could use some help unpacking and inventorying—is that a word?—this new shipment of crystals that just came in and making a new display on that shelf over there." She pointed to an empty spot on the left wall.
I smiled. "Thank you. For this," I clarified, gesturing around the store. "I need a little normalcy in my life today."
She gave me a sympathetic smile. "I bet."
"So," I started as I helped her open the boxes behind the counter, “you and Killian...you're together?"
Lizzy nodded, her eyes dancing with happiness. "Yeah, we are."
"How did that happen?" As soon as I said it, I shook my head. “I’m sorry. It's none of my business."
