Surrounded by heat—the water, Rylan’s body—the numbness started to fade, and Mazey began to shake, her entire body vibrating. There was no controlling it, no stopping it. No hiding from the pain of a tragedy she wasn’t skilled enough to prevent. No hiding from the failure and grief.
As the water rained down and Rylan held her tight, she gave in with an agonized cry and broke.
16
Rylan held Mazey tightly against him beneath the shower spray as she broke apart in his arms.
He’d turned it on for two reasons. To get her clean and to mask her tears. He’d seen the second coming. Plenty of times during his years in the army, he’d seen that look. The one that told him the adrenaline rush was over and the void that it left behind would soon implode. Like many combat veterans, she struck him as the type who wouldn’t want anyone to know her weaknesses.
And this breakdown over the death of a woman and child she didn’t know, Mazey would consider weak.
If he’d learned anything about her since they’d begun working together, it was she had shields around every part of her. Her mind, her quirks, her emotions, the tender heart that pushed her into a profession that helped others. Everything that made her who she was kept hidden away from all but those she chose to allow close.
He had no clue when he’d become one of those people she let in, or even if he was. This shattering break in her walls could all be a circumstance. She had needed to let go, and he’d given her no choice but to do it in front of him.
He’d all but forced her into this small space with him. He could have guided her to the bathroom and walked away. Except he hadn’t—couldn’t, if he was honest.
He’d needed to be the one she leaned on. To know she trusted him with this vulnerable part of her. Needed to be the one she turned to when she couldn’t do it on her own anymore.
To be the one who made sure she was okay.
He’d fallen past the point of just finding her attractive, of wanting her friendship. He’d tripped into that space where he could fall in love.
After Renee, he had vowed to be careful, to think through any possible shift in his feelings when it came to the opposite sex. Yet he’d blindly, or maybe not so blindly, stumbled onto a path he hadn’t seen.
He hadn’t seen Mazey coming. She’d literally slammed into him. On the sidewalk in downtown Sunnyville.
Neither of them was ready for what swirled around in his head, around his heart. He knew that. Knew without her telling him she’d been hurt at some point, so he’d have to tread carefully.
The last thing he wanted to do was cause the woman in his arms more pain.
Or himself, for that matter.
Renee and Jake had stripped him to the core when their affair had been revealed. With distance and time, Rylan knew they hadn’t scarred his heart as much as he’d initially believed. They had bruised it, punched it and his ego enough for him to pull back and not even think about the possibility of being with someone else, someone new, for a long time.
Until Mazey Novak crashed into his life.
And if he wanted to see where this connection—this chemistry—between them could go, he needed to take it slow. Regardless of his inclination to push forward, he’d have to wait, have to let her lead. Let her take control and follow her signals. He might be able to herd her a little, maybe nudge her in the right direction. However, if he wanted their relationship to develop further, to be real, genuine, he would have to take his cues from her.
Rylan only hoped he was able to read her correctly. She appeared to be a master at hiding behind those walls of hers, and while she’d let him in a little here and there, he was a long way from having free access to all things Mazey.
He wanted a wife, a family, and for the first time since he’d had that dream cruelly ripped away, he could see it in his future again, with the woman crying in his arms as though her heart was being ripped out of her chest.
Long minutes of holding Mazey close only solidified his thoughts. He didn’t care how long it took him—he’d get behind her shields. He’d find a way to get beneath her skin as she’d gotten under his.
Over time the sobs racking her body eased, the shaking slowed, and the arms she’d tucked between them slipped out and wrapped around his back, her hands splaying over his shoulder blades holding him close. Not that he planned on going anywhere. Not with her pressed against him.
He tried to ignore the wet skin plastered to his, the softness and the curves, except he was a man and the part of him that proclaimed his maleness was doing it loud and proud now.
He’d spent weeks with a semi whenever he was around Mazey. Hell, all it took was a stray thought, and his dick stood up. There was no way he’d be unaffected by a naked and wet Mazey in his arms.
“Ry.” Her plea was spoken against his chest, her lips brushing a nipple. “I need...”
“Shh . . . It’s okay.” He tightened his hold. “I’ve got you.”
Her hands slipped up his back and curled around his shoulders. “Please.”
He didn’t know what she wanted, what she needed, he just knew he’d give it to her if he could. “Anything, Maz. Tell me.”
