She could do this. With him holding her hand, she could get through the next few hours. She wouldn’t think about anything beyond that. She’d think about the fact she wasn’t in this alone.
Rylan was in her kitchen, making her toast to help her feel better. He hadn’t freaked out. Hadn’t yelled at her for screwing up her birth control. Hadn’t suggested she get rid of it.
He’d done the opposite. He’d been understanding. He’d been concerned for her, not once had he complained about the situation she’d put him in.
He’d been a calming balm on frayed nerves that past experience had sensitized to the point of terror.
She’d had no idea how Rylan would take the news of her suspicion, and if she were honest, she’d admit he’d surprised her. The fear of a possible pregnancy had made her feel ill, and she wasn’t sure if her inability to keep food down was morning sickness or anxiety. It hadn’t been too bad, only a mild churning in her belly, until she’d discovered her oversight and the very real chance of life-changing consequences.
It was then that her stomach had gone into roiling mode and rejected anything she’d attempted to put in it. Being at work hadn’t kept her mind off the situation either. She’d tried to distract herself with counting stock that didn’t need counting. When that didn’t work, she’d pulled out the base’s procedural manual and read.
Not one word had been retained.
Sneaking glances at Rylan every few minutes hadn’t helped either. The man was a distraction normally, but all she could think about was having a baby with him. Together. Not thisoops, we’re pregnantkind of parenting though. She’d thought about doing this by choice. Having a family together, building a future with more than just this child.
She shook her head as she pulled clothes from her dresser and closet. That wasn’t how it was.
If they were going to be parents, it wasn’t by choice, and it wasn’t planned, and it wasn’t the beginning of a future together.
She had to remember that.
Forget that Rylan would stand up because he was a stand-up kind of guy and would never leave a child of his without a father.
As much as she wanted this to be more, it wasn’t. And because it wasn’t, she’d probably ruined any hope of building their relationship into a lasting one beyond sharing a child.
28
Bracing his hands on the counter, Rylan hung his head and blew out a long breath.
There were bags all around him. He needed to deal with them, empty them of the food he’d bought for Mazey. Except now, he was wondering why he’d insisted they come here and not her house.
Not that he had pushed it exactly. He’d just steered her toward his truck with their shopping bags and the all-important pregnancy test kit and said,let’s go home.
Then he’d driven here.
Damn it.
He knew why he’d come here.
This was home.
His home.
And he wanted it to be hers.
Hers and the baby’s.
He had already been thinking about living here with Mazey before she’d told him she might be pregnant. Now it was all he could think about.
With or without a baby, he wanted Mazey here, in his house.
With him.
“Fuck.”
He was in deep. He’d known, of course he’d known, but now, with the possibility of a baby, he wanted her more than anything else in his life, and when his chopper had been shot down, he’d wanted to live pretty fucking hard.
Pushing off the counter, he reached for a bag and pulled out the first item.
