She’d been guilty by ignorance, and as long as she lived, she’d never forgive herself for that.
30
He didn’t know what he expected Mazey to tell him. But it wasn’t that she’d been in a relationship for six years. Or that the man she’d been with had been married the whole time. “You were engaged to a guy who was already married?”
“You have to understand. If I’d known, even suspected, I never would have continued to see him, and I definitely wouldn’t have accepted his ring.”
Rylan believed her. He could see the distress in her gaze, the guilt she still felt over her part in his deception. “How...?”
She took a deep breath. “We lived in different cities, different states. I met him through work and, to be honest, my first impression of him was that he was a bit of a pompous ass, a little wrapped up in his own worth.” She shrugged. “I’m not sure why I said yes when he asked me to dinner the first time. It was months after we’d met, and I don’t even know how he got my number.”
It sounded to Rylan like the guy would have done whatever it took to get what he wanted. “You didn’t give it to him?”
Shaking her head, she frowned. “No. And now that I’m out of the situation, I can see there were a few things he knew about me that I’d never told him. Like my address.”
“He stalked you? Pressured you?” Had this guy been abusive?
“No. No, not at all in the way you think when someone says they’re being stalked, but I guess he must have to some degree. He had my phone number and my address, he knew my age, where I’d gone to school, that I had no family.”
Sounded like stalking to him.
“The day he asked me out, and I accepted, he sent me flowers, a huge assorted bouquet in a crystal vase. I never thought about how he managed to do that when I hadn’t told him where I lived.”
“So, he’s the reason you left LA?” Rylan asked, putting down his fork. The delicious meal she’d served no longer held his interest.
“Yes.”
“Okay. And what does that have to do with today?” He’d told her he didn’t want to know anything she didn’t want to tell him, but he had questions. So many questions. The ones about them should be safe territory, and hopefully, her answers would give him information about her past.
Mazey took a sip of water and licked her lips before answering. “I realize now that I let him rule my life. He told me how to dress, what to eat, what promotions I should apply for at work. He even picked out my apartment when I had to move a few years ago.”
Ah. He got it now. “And you thought I was doing that? Today, when I asked about the baby’s room.”
Nodding, she gave him a tiny smile. “I know you didn’t tell me which room to choose for the nursery. You were asking what I thought and telling me what you were thinking, which is what I want to happen between us. Something you said triggered me, and I panicked.”
“I’ll never tell you to do something unless it’s a matter of life or death. I’ll ask, I’ll suggest, and I might argue for those things on occasion, but I will never, ever force you to do what I want.”
“I know.”
“Good to hear. I’ll try to remember to make clear what’s a question or suggestion from now on.”
“No, you don’t have to do that. I need to remember you’re not...” She bit her bottom lip. She hadn’t said the guy’s name, it was as though she couldn’t. “This is a completely different situation. You’re nothing like him.”
It was, and he owed her a bit of his past too, except he didn’t want to talk about his ex-wife right now. He wanted to concentrate on Mazey and making sure she knew he wasn’t going to be angry at her for any emotion or reaction she might have. Especially as pregnancy hormones raged through her body.
He’d done a lot of reading since they learned they were going to be parents. He wanted to know everything she might experience as well as everything she would. It had been eye-opening, for sure, and exciting too. He planned to enjoy every up and down experience their child brought them. And that included the deepening of his relationship with Mazey.
Rylan reached over and placed a hand over hers, then waited for her gaze to connect with his before he said, “You’re entitled to have misgivings about everything right now. We’re in a position that neither of us chose, and while we’re not angry about it, it’s still a hell of an adjustment. We were just getting to know each other, and now we’ll need to trust each other implicitly. That’s a big ask when we only met two months ago.”
“It is. But it seems like I’ve known you longer than that. I might be shaky on a few things, but I feel comfortable, safe, with you. I do trust you. Maybe it’s because we work together in high-stress situations. I don’t know. And, Rylan, you’re entitled to doubts too.”
“Yes, I am, and I’ll voice them when I do. Right now, nothing comes to mind.”
“I’d like to wait a few more weeks to make decisions on where I’ll live, what room you should set up as a nursery, etcetera. I think we should concentrate on us for now. See if what’s between us will work beyond being parents.”
“I can agree to that. So, the pregnancy is a secret then?” Not that they’d told anyone yet. Well, he hadn’t.
“Yeah, I think it’s best to not reveal that part of our relationship yet. At least until the twelve-week mark.”
