Jake wasn’t ashamed to admit he walked extra slow and tried not to jostle the baby at all. Even with the large plastic shell surrounding Zane, he couldn’t believe something so small, that looked so fragile, shouldn’t be handled with the most gentle touch.
When they reached the living room, Ry said, “Put him down on the sofa.”
“Put him down? On the sofa? Are you crazy? What if he falls off?”
Ry frowned at him while dangling a giggling Mad by his ankles. No wonder his boy loved his uncle.
“I’ll just keep hold of him until Maz comes in,” Jake decided. Cradling the carrier against his chest, he took shallow breaths. The sound of Maddox and Ry wrestling on the floor didn’t even pull his gaze off his delicate cargo.
“Why are you standing there like you’re holding a bomb?” Maz lowered herself to the sofa. “Did he fill his diaper again?”
Jake frowned at Zane. “I don’t think so.” He couldn’t smell anything and he hadn’t heard anything either. When Maddox was younger, you couldn’t miss it if he filled his diaper. But then Mad had been older, drank formula, and upon arriving on Jake’s doorstep, immediately started solids.
“Jeez, Jake, he’s not going to explode or break. Put the carrier down and take him out.” Maz was doing something with her top and not paying him any more attention.
Shouldn’t she watch him? Make sure he didn’t hurt the baby? And where should he put the carrier down? The floor seemed as unsafe as Ry’s suggestion of the sofa. “Um…”
“Here.” Maz patted the cushion beside her. “Sit here and I’ll take him out, then you can put the carrier on the floor.”
Jake eased himself down beside her, keeping a tight grip on the carrier the whole time.
“How old was Maddox when you got him?” Maz asked as she lifted the blanket off Zane and undid the straps holding him in. “He was young, right?”
“Not this young,” he murmured. Zane hadn’t made any more noise since the garage and Jake had to wonder if it was wise to move him. “Shouldn’t you leave him alone if he’s asleep?”
“No. He’s due to feed soon and I’d like to change him before then.” She slipped her hands beneath Zane’s little body and lifted him from the cushioned comfort of the carrier. “You don’t have to worry so much,” she whispered.
His gaze snapped to hers. “I…” What? He was what? Hewasworried. Extremely so. Especially now all he held was an empty carrier that felt as though it weighed the same. “Are you sure he’s okay to come home?”
“Jake. Put the carrier down.” Maz’s tone brooked no argument so Jake placed it on the floor at his feet. “Now hold your arms like a cradle. The same way I’ve seen you do with Maddox.”
He had no idea why she wanted him to do it but his brain had short circuited at some point around the time he’d seen Zane for the first time. Strangely he hadn’t had this reaction when Ry had messaged him pictures of the boy last night and surely he was smaller then, more fragile.
Before Jake could process what was happening, Maz had placed Zane in his arms and moved away. “Don’t—”
“You’re both fine.” Jake met Maz’s gaze. The panic he was feeling must have been in his eyes, all over his face, because she put a hand on his shoulder and said, “You won’t break him any more than you’ve broken Maddox. He’s exactly the same, just smaller, newer. I know you didn’t get this with Mad…”
Shaking his head, he glanced back down at Zane. “No. Madman wasn’t this little when I got him.”
“I’m sorry you didn’t get this. And I know it’s not the same but I—we—want you to treat Zane like you would if he were Maddox. It’s why we didn’t want you to move out so quickly.”
“Oh.”
“I know you bought a house. I know you need to do that but I’d like to ask you to come around a lot. I’d also like to offer to have Mad for you when you work.”
“You can’t—”
“I can. We can. Wewantto. At least until you find someone to take care of him.”
“I don’t des—”
“If you finish that sentence I’m going to punch you in the face and I’m sure you don’t want Madman to witness that,” Ry growled. “We’ve gone over this again and again. And we’ll keep going over it until you get it. We. Don’t. Blame.You.”
Jake wanted to close his eyes but was terrified he’d drop the baby if he did. “I know.” He swallowed and spoke the words he’d only ever thought until now. “You might not blame me, but I do. I knew what she was like. After your crash, when you came home, I knew she’d played us both so I should have known she was lying to me again. I should have known she didn’t really want to see Maddox.”
“You telling me you’re a drug addicted lunatic?” Maz asked.
“Of course not.”
