The thought made him sick to the stomach. And all the possible things that could have happened to his son in the last day still had Jake’s body drawn tight. Every muscle ached with the tension wracking him. One thought kept circling around his mind.
A decisionhe’dmade had put his son in jeopardy. Again.
He felt like a failure. He’d willingly placed Mad in the care of a woman who had neglected him.
Had he learned nothing from Renee?
“It’s not your fault.”
The softly murmured words had him glancing over his shoulder. Lory stood in the archway to the kitchen. “Feels that way,” he said, the brutal truth scorching his tongue like acid.
She gave him a small smile. “I can understand that, but neither of us noticed anything wrong with Shelly. Not during the interview and not when she spent two days with you and Maddox.”
“It was still my decision to leave him with her. A stranger.” He swallowed, his throat tight with fear of everything that could have happened. “I let that woman into my house. Our home.”
“You could not have predicted what she did or didn’t do. Even the agency said her behavior was out of character. They were shocked when Detective Malone called them.”
He knew all that. It didn’t ease the guilt coating his tongue, lining his stomach.
“You should both go to bed. I can organize something for dinner. Something you can reheat when you’re ready.”
“I can’t do it again.”
“Sorry?” She moved into the room, hovered behind him a moment before coming around to sit on the arm of the couch near his sleeping son.
“I can’t leave him with someone I don’t know again. Someone I don’t trust.”
“Mazey said she’d take care of him for you.”
“I want you.”
She sucked in a breath. “Jacob. I can’t. We talked about this.”
“We did. I know you have a job. And I know it’s asking a lot but I’m begging you, please, will you take care of Maddox while I work? If you don’t, I’ll have to quit. I can’t put this on Maz and Ry. I’ve taken advantage of them enough since moving here.”
“They love you and Maddox. This isn’t a burden to them.”
“It feels like it to me. I owe them so much already. I can’t ask this of them too. It’s not fair. Not after everything else.”
He knew Lory had no idea what he was talking about. He hadn’t told her about Mad’s mother. Hated thinking, never mind talking about Renee. But if he gave her a little of their history, she might change her mind about looking after Madman.
“His, Mad’s, mother was, is, not a nice woman. I have sole custody due to neglect and abandonment. She had supervised visits only but she took him against court order. For three agonizing weeks, I had no clue where my son was, if he was okay. What broke me, broke my trust, was what she did to him—” His throat closed up tight. He shook his head and squeezed the words out. “She gave him drugs. For weeks. So he’d sleep and not cry. She doesn’t love him. Never loved him. I’m all he has and I’m begging you, Lory. Please, help me take care of my boy. Help me give him as normal a life as possible.”
“Jacob.” Her gaze left his, found Mad. “I’d love nothing more than to help you take care of Maddox but I can’t. I shouldn’t.”
“Why?” He leaned forward in his seat, rested his elbows on his knees. “Mad is comfortable with you, safe. I know you’d care for him and protect him. I wouldn’t worry when he was with you. I can’t work if I’m worried about him. I fly a helicopter for a living. I can’t afford to be distracted. I’d put myself and those with me in danger.”
When she turned back to face him, he could see tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry. I can’t. Mazey will give you the same comfort.”
Before he could argue more, she stood and walked toward the kitchen.
“I need to go to the store. I’ll bring you something for dinner so you don’t have to worry about that. Take a nap with Maddox. You’ll feel better if you do. And in case you’re worried, I stripped the bedding from your bed and put clean sheets on.”
She’d changed the subject, skillfully diverting him to a different concern to distract him. He instinctively knew he wouldn’t get the answer he wanted, and continuing to plead his case would just make her back away more. He’d been thinking a lot over the last few hours. In spite of how close he felt to Lory, how much he trusted her, there was something between them. Something she held back.
Perhaps it was her past, the reason she’d come to Sunnyville. Whatever it was, he couldn’t force it out of her. He’d have to wait until she was ready to talk, if she ever did. His mind had been a whirl of thoughts since last night when he’d discovered Lory was looking for another place to live.
Deciding to let it go for now, he stood. “I think you’re right. I’m sure I’ll be able to deal with everything, think more clearly, if I get some sleep. Thank you for changing the bed. And I’d really appreciate dinner if it’s not too much trouble. Take one of the new keys so you can let yourself back in if we’re still asleep.”
