Chapter 8
My pulse races so quickly, I actually sit up in bed, my shoulders heaving as I gasp for breath. Damn, that had been a good dream. I was curled up in the arms of this cute guy, and he didn’t care that I’m not that perfect. He smelled amazing, even though I can’t quite remember exactly what that smell was like, now that I’m awake.
He is my dream boyfriend.
And he visits me all the time. Too bad he disappears when I wake up. I don’t really even know what he looks like, just that he’s cute. It’s really frustrating only dating in dreams.
I throw off the blankets and sigh. Time to start another day of work. After a shower and a quick application of lip gloss and mascara, my phone beeps.
Maddie:it is so beautiful here!
Bess:Send pictures!
Maddie:I’m emailing you pictures so it doesn’t use data on my phone. My stepdad says we can come back next year and I can bring a friend, so you should come!
Bess:Sounds cool but I won’t wanna be a third wheel with you and Colby. Maybe I can hang with your sisters…
Maddie:Don’t be silly. You’ll have a hot boyfriend by next year ;-)
I smile at the phone, but inside I feel like crying. Maddie is so positive and happy all the time. Chances are, I won’t have a boyfriend next year. But I could suffer through the loneliness to go on an all-expenses paid trip to Madrid.
Before I met Maddie, my best friend was named Cassie Anderson. We’d gone to the same daycare together as kids and we pretty much floated through school taking all of the same classes together. We had sleepovers and went to the movies a lot, and I considered her my best friend. Then something happened between the summer of eighth grade and freshman year. We had talked on the phone a few days before school started and decided what we were going to wear, just like always.
Then, when I got to school on that first day, Cassie wasn’t where we’d agreed to meet. She was standing next to Tara Lopez, a popular girl. Cassie didn’t even look over at me, and we haven’t talked since.
It’s like overnight, she decided to become popular and snapped her fingers and had new friends. Too bad that left me on the other side of that friendship.
I didn’t really have any good friends in high school, until Maddie. I have Morgan, my online friend from Michigan, but we just chat online and in emails. I met her through this book blog she runs, after I found a blog post she wrote about book boyfriends. Turns out we’re both in love with reading and with getting crushes on the guys in books.
That’s because guys in books are so much better than guys in real life.
I’ve often thought about starting my own blog, where I can talk about books and how I’m studying to be a kindergarten teacher, but I never do. I just don’t feel qualified to talk about stuff online. Not to mention, the horrifying little square of pixels in the top right of every blog: the blogger’s profile photo.
No, thank you.
I don’t take pictures of myself and I hate it when other people do. Grandma has so many family photos she’s taken over the years of me as a kid with my second-cousins. And then there are Christmas photos, and graduation photos and pictures of me on vacation. I look awful in every one.
I’m pretty sure no one would follow a blog if the owner didn’t show themselves, so no matter how much I’d enjoy talking about book boyfriends, I’m not starting a blog.
***
Julie eyes me from her side of the front counter at work. I set down my green smoothie and look over at her. “What?”
“Remember the other day when you said you hate wearing jeans every day?”
I nod. It was after Julie walked in wearing another bikini with a see-thru dress on top that I’d mentioned how I wish I could wear summer clothes. Julie had simply told me to wear them and I’d had to correct her, telling her I’m too big in all the wrong places for skimpy clothes.
“Well,” Julie says, putting a finger to her lips. “I think you’d look great in Doxy leggings.”
I scowl. “Ew. I’m too fat for leggings.”
She scoffs. “No you’re not! Girl, everyone looks good in Doxy brand leggings! You should go down to Flora’s and tell her I sent you. She’ll hook you up with an employee discount.”
I consider it for a moment. The leggings she’s talking about are all the rage right now. Multi colored and with fun patterns, it seems like every girl around is wearing them. Half the girls that come into Aiden Jane are wearing leggings like that, paired with a flowy tank top or an oversized T-shirt, or sometimes just a sports bra. Dressing comfortably is totally in style right now.
But couldIwear leggings?
I’ve never even thought about it. Julie is waiting for an answer so I tell her what I’m honestly thinking. “Sure, I’ll go check them out. They have to be cooler than these jeans that are giving me a heat stroke.”
