I can’t hide my grin as I take the first worksheet and write my name at the top of it. The idea of learning more things about Jonah has me motivated to answer these stupid questions, some of which are pretty easy because they’re from old lessons that I learned at the start of the school year when I was still attending class regularly. As I work, Jonah walks me through some of the harder problems, and I think about what question I’ll ask him when this sheet is done. Finally, I place it at the bottom of the stack and look at him.
“Do you drive?” I ask.
“Yes,” he says. His eyes meet mine and it sends a weird flurry of butteries through my stomach.
“What kind of car?” I ask.
He taps the paper in front of me. “If you want an answer, you have to do another worksheet.”
I groan and shoot him a dirty look. “So mean to me…” I mutter under my breath.
“I am not mean to you,” he says, sounding frustrated, but when I look over at him, he’s smiling.
We do another worksheet and I get my answer. He drives a charcoal gray Lexus IS 250, which he says is not as cool as it sounds because it’s seven years old and it used to be his dad’s car before he upgraded.
I still think it sounds pretty cool. A Lexus? Mom’s car is so old and crappy we don’t even park next to a Lexus at the store because it’s embarrassing by comparison.
We go on like this for the next hour, me blowing through the worksheet questions as fast as possible to get another answer out of him.
I learn that he has one dog named Rex, who is a German Shephard they rescued from a shelter. He lives with his parents who are still married, and also his grandfather who moved in with them after having a stroke two years ago. His mother is from Mexico and his dad is from Washington. He has one little sister named Lola, and fourteen cousins who he grew up seeing almost every day.
I keep my questions light, never asking if he has a girlfriend even though I’m dying to know the answer. After each worksheet, the question dances around my tongue, but I refuse to say it out loud. Because if I do, that’ll mean I might maybe care a little bit about Jonah’s dating life, and I have to keep reminding myself that I don’t. I don’t care at all.
I like Caleb.
I like guys who aren’t nerds.
Jonah is both a nerd and also not Caleb so I can’t like him.
I finish another worksheet just before our two hours is up. Jonah grabs his bag and slings it over his shoulder as I pack up my stuff, shoving it into my backpack.I stand up and face him, noticing how he’s just tall enough for me to be eye level with his lips.He’s the perfect height to give forehead kisses, I think.
I quickly shove the thought away.
“You have one last question,” Jonah says. “What’ll it be?”
I can’t help myself. I have to know.
“Was that pretty comment in your notebook about me?”
His eyes widen for a split second. “Yes,” he says after a moment. “But I veto any follow up questions from now until forever.”
He starts walking toward the door and I stand here a minute, watching him walk away. My chest aches in the weirdest way. It took a lot for him to admit that just now, even though we both already knew the answer from the moment I first saw his dog-eared comment on my appearance. And it takes even more for me to admit something to myself now.
I think I have a crush on him.
Chapter 12
An entire week goes by with me doing a good job of keeping my new crush to myself. I’m still unsure about it, and wondering if I’m just suffering from delusional tutoring-induced emotions. Would I have liked Jonah if I never had to tutor with him?
Hell no.
So maybe all this studying is just rotting my brain.
The only good thing about being forced to go to tutoring and paying attention in class is that I’m not solely worried about the store anymore. I’m still stressed about it, and I still work there every day after school, but it’s not the number one thing on my mind. Between the store, studying, and thinking about Jonah, there’s barely any room for sleep.
But on Tuesday morning, I know my thoughts are about to spill over and come rushing out of my mouth because people can only keep these things to themselves for so long. The thing is, I need to make sure I control what I say instead of letting it escape accidentally. So I decide to tell April about my crush. She’s the one who first pointed it out, after all. She is the best person to talk this through with me.
Only…as we’re walking to school, I keep chickening out. I want to tell her, I do, but I can’t make my mouth say the words. The thing is, even if I do have a crush on Jonah, I can’t act on it. We are totally different people in very different social circles. He hangs out with the band nerds and fellow smart people and I keep to myself since I’ve lost most of my friends over the last year. I focus on the store and nothing else.
