“Wait…where are you?” I ask.
“I’m on the beach. My mom’s having her book club tonight and it’s like six middle-aged ladies who drink wine and try to embarrass me every time they see me. I make an effort to stay away on book club nights.”
“Where on the beach?” I say. “Can I come see you?”
“Um, sure. I’m by the bonfire.”
“Give me five minutes,” I say, and then I hang up. I tell Mom I’ll walk home tonight and she takes my cake and flowers home with her in the car. After we lock up, I comb my fingers through my hair and check my reflection in the glass window of the shop. There’s not much I can do looks-wise right now, but I’m okay. I’d dressed up for Caleb, after all.
Speaking of Caleb, I check my phone again and nothing. I should be hurt, I guess, but I’m really just pissed. Pissed at Caleb for lying to me, and pissed at myself for going after a guy like him.
The setting sun casts an orange-red glow on the ocean, and it illuminates the golden sand beneath my feet. The bonfire is about ten feet wide and it’s usually burning every night during the summer, thanks to the college frat boys who tend to it. I find Jonah sitting on a beach towel, wearing khaki shorts and a blue and white plaid button up shirt. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, and I’m really liking this look on him.
When he sees me, he smiles, and I smile too. “Hey.”
“Hi,” I say, feeling shy for the first time ever. He slides over so there’s room on his oversized beach towel.
“Want to sit with me?”
I sit next to him and watch as the flames from the bonfire dance off his face. “Why are you out here by yourself?” I ask.
He shrugs and leans back on his hands. “Just thinking.”
“About what?”
He shrugs again. I lean over and nudge him in the shoulder with my own. “I’ll tell you what I’ve been thinking,” I say. Sometimes, it still feels like it used to back when we first started tutoring and I could mess with him and not feel awkward. Right now is one of those times.
“What are you thinking?” he asks. It could be my imagination, but I think his eyes flit to my lips before looking back at the bonfire.
“I’m thinking that I wish I had done things differently when we first met.”
“Like pay attention?” he says sarcastically. I shove him with my shoulder again.
“No.”
“Like do your extra credit worksheets more often so you wouldn’t have so many still left to do by now?”
I roll my eyes. “No, Jonah.”
“Then what?” he says, his eyes meeting mine.
The fire dances off his face, and I know this is one of those moments that will require a huge amount of courage.
“Like get to know you,” I say. “Like be your friend instead of think of you as the smart guy enemy.”
“And what would that have done?” he asks, his voice lower.
I shrug. “Maybe things could have done differently. Maybe I wouldn’t just be your friend.” I say the last word like it annoys me.
“What’s wrong with being friends?” he asks, each word he says slow and deliberate.
“Jonah…” I stare down at my hands as they smooth out the towel on the sand. “I think you know what I’m talking about. As soon as I realized I liked you, I’d already screwed everything up.”
“Maybe,” he says. “But it wasn’t irreversible damage.”
I look at him, and he’s looking at me. He seems closer than before, his head tipped toward mine. I can smell his shampoo, see the flecks of gold in his eyes as he leans closer to me. “Maybe we can start over,” he says softly.
He leans toward me, so close I can I can see his lip tremble as he draws in a breath. I’m moving too, tipping my mouth up to meet his as he brings his lips, slightly parted, to mine.
