While we lay on his bed, cuddled up in each other, I tell him about the store and my mom’s newest declaration that she’s selling it no matter what. And then, because I can’t help but want to tell Jonah everything about everything, I tell him about the assistant principal and her connection to my dad.
“You think your mom told him you don’t want to talk to him?” he asks.
I nod as I watch his fingers trace circles on my arm. “I never really got to talk to him after they split up. He was just gone. My mom acted like he left us, like he was just another deadbeat asshole like my biological father.”
“Did you ever try to talk to him?” Jonah asks.
I shake my head. “No.”
“Maybe you should.”
“I mean…” I exhale. “I’m fine without him. But sometimes I do miss him, you know? He was basically my dad, even though he wasn’t really related to me.”
“Well…” Jonah’s fingers slide under my chin and pull up slightly so he can kiss me. “You could send him an email. It’s less personal and not as difficult as meeting or talking on the phone. Then just see where it goes from there.”
I shake my head while I look into his eyes, my thoughts now on Jonah’s lips and not the idea of emails to a dad I haven’t seen in three years. “I don’t know,” I say. “It’s just so awkward.”
“Maybe think it over a few days.”
I nod, agreeing with him, and then when I can’t take it anymore, I slide my hand across his chest and lean over, kissing his neck.
His breath hitches, his hands sliding down to my hips. In a quick movement, I am pulled up from the bed, and now I’m on top of him, his hands gripping my hips, a smirk on his lips.
“That’s more like it,” he says, lifting his head off the pillow to kiss me.
I straddle him, resting my knees on the bed with my hands on either side of his head. I lean forward and kiss him, letting our mouths fall into the make out routine we’re so good at. I revel in the feel of his hands sliding under my shirt and up my back, then down again until they slide over my butt. He squeezes it, grinning against my kiss and then he rocks his hips against mine. It all feels amazing, but my heart is pounding so hard I’m sure the people across the street can hear it.
I lift up, breaking our kiss. “Jonah,” I breathe, wondering when it was that I lost my breath during this make out session. “I’m not sure how far I want to take things right now.”
“No rush, chica,” he whispers against my lips. “We have all the time in the world.”
Chapter 29
The next few days are a blur. I get up and go to school and try to pay attention. Jonah helps me with my homework everyday now, and not just on Tuesdays and Thursdays when the school forces him to. Without him, I’d definitely be falling behind on my grades again, but he keeps me focused.
I feel like I’m walking on eggshells at home. I keep waiting for Mom to say, “It’s done. I sold the store.” So far, she hasn’t said much of anything to me that doesn’t involve asking what I want for dinner. She sleeps in late, goes to the store late, and comes home at exactly closing time. I wish I could say I haven’t given up, but there’s nothing more for me to do. Even with our fundraising sales and all the online marketing in the world, I can’t come up with the twenty-three thousand dollars Mom needs to pay off her payday loan.
It’s been three days, and that sinking feeling hasn’t left my chest. I feel like I’m constantly on the verge of tears, but I hold them back. Jonah and April are being stellar friends and do everything they can to take my mind off it. I smile and joke with them at lunch and pretend like their efforts are working, but deep down inside, I’m dying.
I can’t stand the idea of a life without The Magpie. Even now that I’ll definitely graduate with at least B’s and maybe even some A’s, and with the scholarships Mrs. Reese has gotten for me, my future still feels up in the air. I don’t know what to do with myself if I’m not running a business. Jonah assures me I’ll figure it out with time, but I’m not so sure.
Mom seems more lost than ever, floating through the house at night like a ghost waiting to sign away their soul. I don’t know when the contract signing will happen and our store won’t be ours anymore, but I’m sure it’ll be soon.
On Thursday, Jonah and I do my homework and then I finish the last of the stack of extra credit papers. It feels like I’ve climbed Mount Everest when I finally get to drop the completed stack on the table. Nothing can ruin the pride I have over this accomplishment, not even the librarian’s annoyed glare at me for making a loud noise.
“You seem a little happier,” Jonah says as we move over to the row of computers.
I shrug, not wanting to give a real answer. If I say yes, I’m happier, he’ll be able to tell it’s a lie. Right now I’m just surviving.
I turn to Jonah and wheel my computer chair right up next to his so that I can rest my cheek on his shoulder. “You make me happy,” I say quietly. “Even when life is being stupid, you’re still the greatest part of it.”
He kisses the top of my head. “You make me more than happy, Nat. I’m still waking up from stress dreams every night where our two months of tutoring are over and you quit hanging out with me.”
I snort. “Not happening. I’m taking you with me to college so you can help me study for all of those assignments as well.”
“I’d be happy to do that,” he says, sliding his hand over to my thigh.
I sit up and decide to check my grades online before logging into ChemXLabs. As I log into the school’s website, the top right corner flashes, telling me I have a new email. Our school accounts have email addresses that no one uses except for teachers, who send us assignments and stuff.
