I head back to my room. I sit on my bed. I stare at the wall. I tell myself to let his drunken words bounce right off me, but they never do. I flash back to playing soccer with him in the back yard when I was five. Christmases and family vacations back when we were happy and Dad wasn’t a drunk. Maybe if he’d been this shitty my whole life, it wouldn’t matter. But he hasn’t. I still have the good memories, and they’re what makes the new memories even worse.
It’s already after ten o’clock, but I don’t care. I call up TJ, and they’re still at the diner. “I’ll be there in five minutes,” I say.
Louetta, Texas is a small town with only one main street. That’s where the high school is, along with other businesses, shopping centers, and the Lone Star Diner. I sit in the booth with my friends, telling them I’m not hungry, and stare out the window at the high school across the street.
Beau has been sneaking sips from a flask all night and he’s more than drunk by the time I arrive.
At midnight, they kick us out because the diner is closing, and we all decide that Beau can’t drive his sorry ass home since he’s too drunk. I offer to drive him, just so I don’t have to go home so soon.
“Dude,” Beau says as he stumbles through the parking lot. “We should like, set the school on fire.” He wiggles his eyebrows as he gazes at the school across the street. “That way we don’t have to go back.”
“That’s arson,” I say, opening the truck door for him. He better not throw up in my truck. “You’d go to jail for that.”
Beau stumbles forward, looks at my truck and then turns around. “But I wanna destroy something,” he says.
I am not in the mood to shove his ass into my truck, but it’s looking like I will have to. “Get in,” I say.
He shakes his head. And then he takes off running.
The idiot can sure run like hell even when he’s drunk. That’s the true skill of a soccer player, I guess. I chase after him, across the highway that’s empty of cars because it’s so late, and into the high school parking lot.
“You’re not setting the school on fire,” I say. “You don’t even have a lighter.”
“I want to destroy something,” he says, holding his fists in the air. “I am a man and I want to be manly.”
I snort out a laugh. He’s a complete idiot when he’s drunk. Beau’s gaze focuses on a greenhouse in the distance. “Bingo,” he says. He takes off running again.
I follow him to the little greenhouse at the edge of the school’s property. There’s a daycare next door, so it’s closed. The school is closed too, but I get this weird feeling like we might be watched.
“Let’s go,” I say, halfway debating if I should just leave him here.
He picks up a hammer on the ground. “Perfect.”
He swings it at the greenhouse and the plastic green wall cracks open. Beau’s satisfied laugh fills the air.
“Dude.”
I stand here, half annoyed and half envying him. He swings again, and again, breaking out pieces of the walls. His laughter gets louder. “It’s not arson, bro!” he says as he swings again and a large piece of the wall breaks off.
He hands me the hammer. “Your turn!”
I look around. This hunk of junk has been here forever. There’s an old pile of green plastic panels stacked up to the side, and tools are in a bucket next to the door. I look inside. The place is empty. Clearly no one cares about this place. They’re probably going to tear it down anyhow.
I think about my dad and let the anger fill me up. Then I swing at the wall and the hammer takes out a chunk of it. Beau whoops and I feel laughter rising in my own chest.
I’m not drunk like he is, but this is euphoric.
I take a deep breath and swing the hammer again.
