But she’s gone. Theother side of this bed is totally empty, only a slight mussed up comforter tolet me know anyone was ever here in the first place. I look around the smallroom and don’t see her. Maybe she’s in the shower.
But when I sit upand peer around the corner, the bathroom door is wide open and the light isoff.
“Alexa?” I callout, as if she’s somehow hiding in this small room. As if there is anywhereelse she could possibly be that I can’t see from my vantage point.
Of course there isno answer.
My chest aches. Sheobviously woke up early and went back to her room. Why didn’t she wake me up?Maybe she had an early panel she wanted to attend and didn’t want to wake me.Maybe this isn’t a bad thing like it looks.
I glance around thesmall room, looking for a note she might have left me. But the hotel stationaryis still sitting untouched on the little table by the window. I notice herlaptop is gone, too, along with any trace that she was here last night or thatshe might be coming back.
Damn.
All kinds of badthoughts enter into my mind, and as much as I want to shove them away, I can’t.Here I was thinking Alexa was my freaking soul mate, a perfect girl, the kindof girl you bring home to mom, and now she’s gone without a note. Am Ioverthinking this? Does she just expect me to find her down in the conventionroom and continue where we left off?
If that’s the case,then why didn’t she wake me up or leave a note?
I grab my phone offthe nightstand and check it, but of course there are no new messages. Alexa andI never exchanged phone numbers last night. There wasn’t a reason to call eachother when we were already together. I’m kicking myself now. If only I’d hadthe foresight to get her number before she was gone. Maybe I could text her andthings would be okay.
Still, there’s aweird vibe in the room. My heart is hiding from what my brain knows to be true.Alexa has left and she doesn’t want to be found.
I feel totally used.
As I relive theevents of last night, I start to wonder if maybe I just experienced them allwrong. I’d thought she and I really hit it off, and were having a blast. I’dstarted thinking about committing to visit her on the weekends no matter howfar apart we lived from each other. I’d started picturing our future together.
But … that’s notwhat she wanted.
The way she grabbedme and pulled me into her hotel room was pretty clear. She was drunk andwanting to fool around. She didn’t want to know me deeper. She didn’t want tosee me again. She just wanted to have some fun.
I sit on the edgeof the bed and hold my head in my hands. I can’t believe a hot woman used melike a piece of meat and I’m sitting here feeling shitty about it. I’m a guy.I’m supposed to be all stoked about it, bragging to my friends and shit. But Ijust feel awful for having let myself get caught up in this woman who didn’twant me the way I wanted her.
It takes a hugedose of willpower to drag myself off the bed and into the shower. I try tothink about my schedule today and the business objectives I came here to workon. I only allow thoughts of work in my brain instead of thoughts of her, butit doesn’t work well. I get dressed and text my cousins, who say they’realready downstairs in the convention room. For once in my life, they are the responsibleones waiting on me, instead of the other way around.
Oh well. Screw it.I can’t be on top of my life all of the time.
I drop my phone andbend down to pick it up. That’s when I catch the one trace of Alexa that shemistakenly left behind. It’s laminated and shiny and it’s the one clue that maylead me to where I can find her again.
Her Texas shapednametag.
Chapter 10
The flight back toTexas is awful. The plane is full, and people are talking and kids are runningup and down the aisles, and I can’t find a single thing to watch on my phone,even after I pay the ridiculous price for the in-flight wi-fi. I just keep scrollingthrough Netflix, trying to find something that will take my mind off how muchof a loser I am.
Instead of being anadult and going back to the business conference, I just ran away. That’s notvery adult at all. I’m so embarrassed I can’t even think straight.
My flight seems totake forever, and yet when we land in Texas, it feels like it happened toofast. Now I’m back home, just a two hour drive from Mable Falls, and I reallydon’t want to face my friends like this. I’m supposed to come home tomorrownight, after a weekend of awesome business stuff. I amnotsupposed to arrive Saturday morning with my tail between mylegs.
I don’t even wantto look at the brochures and samples I brought back with me from the first dayof the convention. It all just reminds me of him. The guy I stupidly fell hardfor when I shouldn’t have fallen at all.
I sit in theterminal a while, not wanting to call Livi and let her know what’s up. I getsome coffee and then after an hour, I break down and order lunch. Maybe I’ll justlive in this airport for twenty-four hours and then pretend I got home on time.
I stare at myphone, and finally, when I can’t stand being here any longer, I decide to bitethe bullet and get it over with. Maybe I’ll fake an illness. Say I got sick andhad to come home. But that doesn’t really make sense, because who wouldwillingly get on a plane when they were sick? If I were really sick, I’d havejust stayed in my hotel room until I felt better. I struggle to come up with abelievable excuse, but I can’t think of anything. The only real excuse is thatI’m a pathetic loser.
I break down andcall Livi.
“Hey, girl!” sheanswers, her voice all cheery like there’s no problem in the world.
I immediately feelworse. “Hey.”
