“Put him onspeaker,” I say.
She does, and thenholds out the phone. “I’m fine, Mason,” I call out. “Stop worrying.”
“I can’t believeyou flew home early and didn’t tell me,” he says. “If anyone hurt you, I willkill them.”
I laugh, and decideto lie a little bit. “I’m fine. It was just boring and stupid so I came homeearly. I didn’t like Arizona.”
He’s quiet for asecond, like he doesn’t believe me. “So what are ya’ll doing now?”
“Watching movies,”I say.
“Girl movies,” Livisays.
“Boring,” Masonsays. “Why don’t I come over and take ya’ll to dinner?”
Livi looks up atme. “I’ll tell him no,” she whispers.
I shake my head.“It could be fun,” I whisper back.
“What are you twosaying?” Mason asks.
Livi gives me alook that says,are you sure?
I nod. “Okay, butwe’re picking the restaurant,” I say.
“Be there in halfan hour,” Mason says.
We turn off themovie and I decide to get halfway dressed for dinner. Livi is still wearing herjeans and shirt that she wore to work and she looks cute, but I’m in pajamas. Ithrow on one of my favorite sundresses that’s long with a purple floral print,and then toss my hair in a messy bun. The great thing about going out withfriends and family members is that you don’t have to look exceptionally nice todo it.
But after Masonarrives and we pile into his shiny new truck, I’m starting to wonder if that’sa bad plan on my part. Shouldn’t I be dressing nicely and putting in someeffort every time I go out? That way I might catch the eye of some attractivebachelor who would then ask me out. Then I’d finally have a relationship.
Livi and I chooseto eat at Sam’s Boat, a fun restaurant that’s right on the water of our locallake. They have a large deck and you can sit outside and watch the sailboats goby while you eat. Mason drops us off at the entrance and then goes to park sinceit’s busy and the parking lot is pretty full. While I’m alone with Livi, I tellher my theory about needing to dress nicer.
“Oh hell no,” shesays, stopping right in the middle of the sidewalk. A couple walking behind usstartles, and has to walk around. “You did not just say that.”
“What’s the bigdeal?” I ask.
She heaves a sigh.“Okay, so maybe you shouldn’t like go around looking like some gross slob oranything, but that’s not your personality anyhow. But you definitelydo notneed to fancy up your appearancejust to make a guy happy. You need to be yourself, Alexa. Because you’rebeautiful and amazing and fun just how you are.”
I roll my eyesbecause that all sounds like such a line of bullshit. I know that if the tableswere turned, I’d be telling Livi not to change for a guy but … it’s hard totell yourself that. “I want to be attractive,” I say. “Otherwise guys aren’tgoing to approach me.”
“A guy that doesn’tsee how amazing you are when you’re being normal isn’t a guy you want anyway.”
I guess I knowshe’s right. But it doesn’t matter because Mason is jogging up to us and Idon’t want him to hear any of this embarrassing girl time. Any time in my lifewhen I’ve criticized my looks, or my weight, he has stood up for me and demandedthat I stop thinking poorly about myself. Mason actually hasn’t given thatspeech to me in years. I’ve been pretty comfortable in my own skin ever since I’vestarted my bakery. But that’s because I wasn’t focusing on guys.
I can’t stopthinking about how Gabe liked me when he saw me all dressed up for theconvention. Would he have flirted with me if I had a bare face, a messy bun,and this dress?
I guess I’ll neverknow.
Now that I’mthinking about guys and dating, I start to notice little things I wouldnormally ignore. Like how Mason holds the door open for Livi (and me, too, buthe’d do it for her even if I wasn’t here) and how when she walks by him, hishand drifts to her lower back, a protective and sweet gesture. He keeps lookingat her while we sit at our table and eat. He smiles at everything she says. Helistens and asks questions and isn’t just some boring guy who’d rather checkout the hot waitress as she walks by.
My cousin istotally and completely in love with Livi, and he isn’t afraid to show it. Afterdinner, we decide to walk along the boardwalk, and Livi and Mason hold handsand it’s the cutest thing ever. Since they’re my best friends, I don’t feellike a third wheel, and they always include me in the conversation, so it’s allfine with me that they’re being all lovey-dovey. I keep watching the littlebits of romance between them. How Mason grabs her elbow when she almost tripsover a loose board. How he wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her in for akiss when we stop to look out at the water.
It’s all soromantic it makes my heart hurt. I want this. I want a man who looks at me theway Mason looks at Livi. I want a relationship, someone I can talk to and loveand grow old with.
I don’t just wantit, I need it. It’s time in my life to move onto better things that are beyondjust me and my bakery.
When I get home,I’m laying in bed unable to sleep. I can’t stop thinking about Gabe. Becausealthough I’ve set my mind to the idea that I want a relationship, I’m still notready to give up on the idea that maybe the guy I should be dating is the guy Ialready met. Is he thinking about me?
