Chapter 1
I’m pretty sure my bedroom has more items in it than the rest of the house combined. And that’s a little ironic because up until last weekend, my room consisted of an air mattress, a dozen outfits in the closet, and a gorgeous antique makeup vanity I got for ten bucks at a garage sale. Now, I can barely see the faded carpeting over the boxes and shopping bags of crap. I mean, it’s not crap—it’s cool stuff—but I am overflowing with guilt that it’s all been bought for me.
Mom shuffles into my room, carrying a purple fabric laundry basket that’s filled with purple towels, purple washcloths, a purple shower caddy and purple flip flops for wearing to the communal shower. I’m not a fan of the idea of showering while wearing shoes, but she’d told me more than once that dorm showers are germ factories and that my dad had once suffered a case of athlete’s foot and it was disgusting.
She sets it all on the floor in front of her and then puts her hands on her hips, appraising my room of junk with a pleased smile. “Perfect. I think that’s everything.”
“You know, just because purple is my favorite color doesn’t mean everything has to be purple,” I say, picking up a package of purple plastic utensils.
“That’s in case the cafeteria runs out of silverware,” Mom says.
I roll my eyes. But she’s trying so hard, and I can tell she’s so excited to be buying me all this unnecessary crap with money we don’t exactly have. I put on a smile because Iamgrateful, it’s just a little too much to take in right now.
“Thank you, Mom,” I say, standing up from my air mattress and stepping carefully around all the shopping bags to give her a hug. “I am all set for college now.”
“You are, but I’m not,” she says over my shoulder as she squeezes me tightly. These hugs have been more frequent after the tornado swept through town and took our house with it. My parents and I all got hit with the realization that we could be gone at any moment. It’s scary, being aware of your own mortality, and I’m happy for the hugs.
“My baby,” Mom says, pulling away and holding me at arm’s length. The fine wrinkles in the corners of her eyes seem a little deeper every time I see her. She’s still wearing her scrubs from her nursing shift that ended several hours ago. After Mom lost all her clothes in the tornado, she’s only replaced the scrubs. Now she wears them all the time, even if she’s not at work. She smiles at me, and I watch those eye wrinkles fold together. “My baby is all grown up. Going off to college…” She exhales and pulls me in for another hug. “I’m so proud of you.”
The moment is bittersweet. I’m definitely happy that I’m going to college, especially after we lost everything we had and I didn’t know if it would be affordable or not. Then I applied to my dream school, the Hilltop School of Culinary Arts, and my essay on what it was like to survive a tornado but lose everything won me a full scholarship. Room and board and everything. I about died when I opened the letter. I am so unbelievably thrilled to go to my dream school and learn the skills I’ll need to open my own cupcake shop one day, but all that excitement comes with just as much worry.
The college is three hours away in a small town south of Dallas, and that’s three long hours away from my home. We finally moved out of the Poe’s house and into our own rental home, but my parents are more stressed than ever now. While we used to own our old house, this one is just being rented. On a nurse and paramedic’s salary, they can’t afford to pay rent and also save up to buy our own new house someday. The land from where our old house was is still for sale, but no one has bought it yet. Apparently people don’t care to build a new house on a street with houses that were all built twenty years ago. When it does sell, my parents might have enough for the down payment on a new house, but until then, we’re just stuck in this tiny, old, dingy, overpriced rental.
We have filled the house with some furniture, just not much. The living room is the most put together, with a used couch and a new TV and a gorgeous rug Mom and I found on clearance on Overstock.com. My parents got a bed for their room for cheap from a friend, but I insisted that the air mattress was fine for me. I don’t want them spending any unnecessary money on me, especially since I’m going to college soon. My frugal ways only lasted a few months, because now that I have a free dorm room, my mom has gone a little crazy buying me stuff to fill it with. But I know it makes her happy, so I’m trying to be grateful and not annoyed.
Mom helps me take all the dorm stuff out of the boxes and shrink wrap and we pack it tightly into plastic containers, consolidating it as much as possible for the trip to my dorm. I start college in just nine days. This is officially the last week of my summer as a carefree teenager. Soon I’ll be a college student, and then, hopefully, an adult with her own cupcake shop.
It’s bittersweet thinking about these last few days of freedom before class starts. I’ve had eighteen years of living with my parents, going to public school and hanging out with friends at home. Now it’s all about to change.
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Ethan greets me at his front door with a smile that turns into a yawn. “Hi babe,” he says, but the words are all muffled as he covers his mouth with his fist. He pulls me to him for a hug, and I wrap my arms around his bare chest. He’s wearing black basketball shorts with black boxers peeking out at the waistline, and that’s all it takes to make my stomach flutter. His dark hair is all ruffled, and his eyes are still sleepy. It’s eleven in the morning, but my boyfriend has clearly just woken up. I let my eyes wander over his sculpted chest, which has gotten even better since we graduated high school two and a half months ago. With all the free time of summer, Ethan’s been working out more than usual. I wish I looked this sexy after rolling out of bed.
“Done shopping?” he says, stepping back to let me inside.
“Ugh, I hope so.”
He chuckles. “What’s wrong with shopping?”
“You know my mom … she’s so excited about my dorm room and I think maybe she’s trying to make up for how broke we’ve been by buying me stuff I don’t need.” I let out a sigh.
Mrs. Poe walks into the living room looking all put together just like always. “Ella, she just loves you, that’s all,” she says, giving me a wink. “Let her go crazy buying you stuff. Moms like that kind of thing.”
I have no doubt she knows what she’s talking about, since she and my mom are good friends. I smile in reply and she smiles back. “Would you like a green smoothie, dear? I’m making myself one now.”
“No, thanks,” I say brightly, instead of gagging and curling my lip in disgust like I want to. “I just ate, so I’m full.”
It’s a lie, but if Mrs. Poe thinks you’re even a little bit hungry, she’ll try to give you something heathy to eat. Health food is her favorite thing, right after her family and reality shows on TLC.
“Okay,” she says, her thousand-watt smile lighting up the living room. “Ethan, put on a shirt,” she adds, giving her son a scolding look. “We have company.”
“Ella’s not company,” he says, throwing an arm around my shoulders. “Plus, she’s seen it all before so—”
“Ethan!” I snap, but it’s too late. My cheeks are warming more with each passing second. Luckily, my embarrassing boyfriend’s mom just rolls her eyes and heads back into the kitchen.
Ethan keeps his arm around me until we get to the stairs, where it’s too hard to stay snuggled together and ascend at the same time, especially since his strong athlete’s body tends to glide up the stairs two at a time, and I step on each one because I’m way shorter and in way worse shape than he is.
“Where’s Dakota?” I ask as we pass her empty bedroom. Ethan’s little sister is a freshman now, and she’s been grilling me on all things high school, from what to wear, to where to sit, to which teachers are cool and which ones suck. Now that I spend so much time here, I consider her like my little sister, too.
