I wait until the pizza is gone to tell my best friend what’s been bugging me. I tell her about how I can’t stop stressing that Ethan and I will be one of those couples that can’t stay together after I move away.
April’s long blond hair is pulled into a messy bun that bobs on top of her head as she talks. “Well…” she begins, and I can tell she’s trying hard to think of the perfect best friend thing to say. “I mean, it’ll be hard being apart, but it’s not too far. Didn’t Ethan say he’ll see you every weekend?”
I nod. “But that’s just stuff that people say. Soon enough, he’ll get tired of driving up there and I’ll get tired of driving down here. Our visits will go from once a weekend to once a month to—”
“Ella!” April’s hand grabs mine and squeezes. “You’re spiraling. Take a deep breath.”
I do as she says and inhale slowly. I look out at our large backyard and stare at the leaves on the trees as they sway gently in the breeze. On this side of town, the houses are spread out with several acres of land in between. Unlike in my old neighborhood where each house had ten feet of space between it, I could probably scream bloody murder right now and no one but April would hear it.
I exhale and turn to her. “I have an idea.”
Her eyes widen. “Uh oh…”
“No,” I say with a laugh. “I have a good idea. Let’s have a party.”
April’s eyebrows shoot up. “Come again?”
“A party,” I say, as my mind works out the details. “Here. In the backyard.”
“You’re not really a party person,” she says, eyeing me like she thinks I’ve been kidnapped and replaced with a clone who has more personality.
I roll my eyes. “Not a huge party. Just like ... me, you, Ethan, Toby, and a few friends. We can call it a going off to college party. One last fun time together before everything changes.”
A smile slides onto my best friend’s lips. She glances out at the patio, as if she’s picturing the party in her mind. I go on. “We can get pizza, drinks, blast the music out here…”
She nods. “I like it. Let’s do it.”
“Friday,” I say. “My parents aren’t coming home until next week and that gives us two days to plan it and invite people and clean up my house.”
April laughs. “Your house is pretty clean. I mean, there’s hardly anything in it.”
“You’re right,” I say, frowning. “We’ve lived here for months and sometimes my mind still thinks I’m at my old house. I would have had to clean up the old house.”
She puts a hand on my shoulder and gives me a comforting smile. “Maybe this party is exactly what you need. Some end of summer stress relief and fun.”
Over the next hour, April and I choose a guest list, limiting it to about twenty people. We don’t want the cops to get called or anything crazy, we just want this to be a fun night with people we care about. I call Ethan who is with Toby, and they immediately offer to buy the pizza and drinks. Toby says his older brother can get us beer, and I’m a little hesitant, but I don’t say no. Beer makes everyone happy, so I agree but only if we have at least 5 designated drivers by the end of the night to take everyone home. At first I plan on being one of them because it seems really stupid to get drunk at your own house. I need to be sober to make sure no one does anything idiotic like set the house on fire or steal my mom’s jewelry. But then I think about how getting a little buzz might be exactly what I need to face Ethan with my problems. A dose of liquid courage might help me talk to him.
And we need to talk.
He doesn’t see it, but I do. We need to talk about the fact that I’m moving away for two years, and how a lot can change in that time frame. I don’t want to break up. That’s the last thing I want—but I’m so scared that he’ll drift away and then break up with me. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I don’t need beer to fix this problem. Talking with my boyfriend won’t change the future, it just might delay it a little. If we both promise to stay together, then maybe we’ll believe it. But distance changes people. It makes them grow apart. The thought of losing Ethan makes my heart rip in two. He is my best friend, my favorite person to be around. He’s gorgeous and loving and sweet. Losing him would be the worst thing ever.
I don’t think I need beer.
I need a miracle.
