“You might say no.” Sutton looks pointedly at her, crossing her arms and not looking at all intimidating.
“Doubtful,” she says, laughing. “You know I would do anything for my girls. Need to bury a body? Pllllease tell me it’s Cora’s,” Kendra begs playfully.
“Unfortunately and thankfully no.” Sutton snorts. “I am hoping this will be something fun for you to help me with.”
I can’t wait to hear what this is going to be.
“Deck should be home anytime now, and I know the baby’s gender, buthe doesn’tsince I am going to all the appointments by myself. They asked me if I wanted to know last time,and I said yes,” Sutton tells us, eyes shining with excitement and bursting to share her secret.
“Oh my gosh!” I exclaim. “We had no idea you knew already. Sutton! This is huge news.”
Sutton is beaming, rubbing her prominent baby bump, her cheeks pink with emotion, and tells us, “It’s a GIRL!”
We all collectively freak out. Laughter, hugs, squealing, and so much happiness fill the entire store. I could not be more happy for my friend. Babies are such a blessing, and I know that Sutton is going to be an amazing mom. I don’t know Derek yet, but from everything Remington has shared, he is crazy about Sutton and can’t wait to be a dad. Being a girl dad, I am sure, will make him even more overprotective. It will be fun to watch a big, strong, military man like Deck be wrapped around the finger of a tiny, precious, little girl.
“What favor do you need from me though?” asks Kendra.
“I want to do something special for a gender reveal when Deck gets home. He loves coffee, and we even have that little coffee bar area in our kitchen. I was thinking of setting it up all cute with decorations.” Sutton describes her plan.
“Love that!” we tell her in unison.
“I was hoping Kendra could make me a special mug?”
“O-M-G,yes!” Kendra shouts, making me and Sutton giggle.
“What did you have in mind?” I ask Sutton.
“I was thinking of an oversized mug with teeny, tiny, pink hearts all over, and then script on the front that says ‘Girl Dad.’” She looks to Kendra with a hopeful smile.
“This is going to be so freaking cute! I’m on it.” Kendra nods and starts packing up her boxes and paper she had wrapped the mugs in.
Laughing Sutton says, “I don’t mean right this minute! Aren’t we getting lunch?”
“Ugh, I guess,” Kendra says. “But you got my creative juices going, and I am ready to get my hands into my clay.”
“Well, I am glad you’re excited, and I really, really appreciate you making my vision come to life. He’s going to love it.”
The girls hug, and a warm fuzzy feeling spreads through my body. There has been so much bad happening with my mom, Cora, my car, and dealing with the restraining order. I needed this today. Good news and time with my best friend and someone who is also very quickly becoming another best friend.
It feels like I have known Sutton so much longer than I have, and friendship with her came easily. Same with Jess and the fire station girls. They have been blowing up our text chain, checking on me, and making sure I don’t need anything. Jess even had me over for dinner a few days ago with her and the kids. Matt and Remington were both on shift, and Remington is still uneasy about me being home alone the whole time.
Our family and friends are rallying around us, me specifically, and I have never had this kind of love and support in all my life. I feel unworthy of it, honestly. The broken parts of myself feel like if I let these kind, wonderful, normal people too close I will cut them unintentionally.
The hot sun warms my skin as I sit out on Remington’s back deck. I was trying to relax, read, and distract myself from my anxious thoughts after getting back from lunch with the girls, but I was exhausted and found myself nodding off. I barely go back to my apartment anymore besides picking up things I need and checking my mail. We’ve basically moved me intoRemington’s house, especially after Cora ruined my car, but haven’t labeled it yet.
If you would have told me when I was burning my ex-boyfriend’s things on a late night in March that by now I’d be sitting here, I never would have believed it. To some it would seem fast that I spend all this time here, but to me Remington has always just feltright. I’ve never felt more safe or more seen. It makes me think about how I had the foreboding earlier in the day with the girls, worried about how my brokenness could hurt them.
Remington has seen a lot of that brokenness. I have not shared all of it with him, but he knows most of it. Witnessed and felt the vitriol of my mother firsthand, has heard the stories of my father and brother. He knows the unhealthy history I have with men and dating. And yet he still embraces me and has not made me feel like I need to hide any pieces of myself, smooth over my emotions or hide things to keep the peace. I let the comfort of his solid presence in my life wash over my body with the warm breeze, pushing back the nagging worries.
I am in so deep with this man.
29
Remington
“Pack a bag, Lainey,” I announce as I walk in the door after my final shift of the week. I am about to have four days off, and I plan on spending every second with my woman. More importantly, we are getting the hell out of here and away from the stress and the constant looking over our shoulders wondering if Cora is going to pop up and wreak more havoc.
Lainey comes out of our bedroom,yes, I am calling it our bedroom, and that feels so fucking good to say. She is here all the time, and I don’t plan on letting her go back to her apartment. It feels so right coming home to her, sharing space with her, knowing she is here even when I can’t be. Jesus, she has me wound so tight, if I don’t focus I am going to toss her right back on the bed and fuck her, and then we are never going to get on the road.
