My breath caught, and I chuckled. Children had an innocence about them that was as sweet as it could be awkward. I gently scooted him back so he was looking at my face. "What would you like for Christmas, young man?"
"A puppy." His attention was now captured by the beard that he was patting. "A soft puppy."
"I'll see what I can do, but you'll need to check with your parents first. Puppies are very special gifts that need lots of love and care."
After the last child had their turn, Marjorie thanked me for coming, and the children sang out a group "Thank you, Santa!" before being led away by parents and teachers. I remained seated for a moment, processing the emotions that always surfaced during these events. The joy of giving and the satisfaction of creating magic were amazing, but they were also reminders of what I didn't have in my life. Might never have in my life.
I returned to the back room to grab my phone and saw a text from my friend Tyler had come through.You done playing Santa soon? Need to ask you something.
I texted back.Just finished. What’s up?
I changed out of my suit and into my regular clothes then carefully packed the costume into its garment bag. The beard and wig went into their own box to keep them in good shape. I thanked Marjorie and the library staff before heading out into the early evening darkness.
The temperature had dropped, and snow was falling more steadily now. Christmas lights twinkled from nearby shops and created that special glow that only existed during the holidays.
Despite the melancholy that sometimes crept in, I loved this time of year. People seemed to try a little harder to be kind.
Lost in my daydream, I was almost at my truck when I heard someone calling my name. "Niko! Hey, Niko! Wait up!"
I turned to see Tyler jogging toward me, his breath visible in the cold air. He ran the local animal shelter and had been my friend since college. As one of the few people who knew about my unique physiology, he was always supportive and never made me feel strange about it.
"Hey, man." He caught up to me and clapped me on the shoulder. "How was Santa duty?"
"Amazing as always." I smiled and thought back on being outed by that little boy. "The kids were adorable and funny. What's up? Your text sounded urgent."
"Not urgent, just time-sensitive." Tyler shoved his hands into his pockets and blew out a deep breath. "The shelter's annual Christmas charity raffle is coming up, and we're short on donations. I was wondering if you might have anything to contribute? Art, gift baskets, services… Anything helps."
I leaned against my truck and thought about it. "I don't really have anything auction-worthy at home. My woodworking isn't good enough to sell, and I don't have any special skills that?—"
"That's not true." Tyler was wearing a sly grin on his face. "You've got the Santa suit."
"What do you mean?" Did he want me to auction off the suit?
"Donate a visit-from-Santa package. People will bid on it for their kids or family Christmas parties. You show up in the suit, do your Santa thing for an hour or so. It would be perfect, and people would definitely bid on it."
The idea wasn't something I'd thought of before, but it made sense. I enjoyed being Santa, and extending that beyond the library readings could be fun. Plus, it was for a good cause. "Yaknow, that's not a bad idea." I nodded as it started to stick in my brain. "I could offer a one-hour visit within the city limits? All I need to do is read a few stories, smile for pictures, and make everyone happy."
"Exactly!" Tyler's face lit up. "We could advertise it as a personal visit from Santa and include story time and photo opportunities. It would be a big hit, especially for families with young kids."
"Alright, I'm in." A surge of holiday spirit rolled through me in waves. "Email the details of what you need for the auction listing."
"You're the best, Niko." Tyler grinned. "The auction's next Saturday evening at the community center. You should come. Free food, open bar, and you can see who bids on your Santa services."
"I'll try to make it." I opened my truck door and placed my Santa bag on the passenger seat. "How's everything else at the shelter? Getting the usual holiday rush?"
Tyler's expression turned more serious. "Yeah, we're packed. People surrender animals before the holidays, thinking they'll be a burden during travel. Then after Christmas, we get puppies and kittens that were impulse gifts. It's our busiest season."
"That's tough." That reality sucked for both Tyler and the animals. "Let me know if you need help beyond the auction donation. I can volunteer some time if needed."
"I might take you up on that." Tyler stepped back from my truck and shook my head. "Thanks again for the Santa donation. It'll make a difference."
We said our goodbyes, and then I climbed into my truck.
As I drove home through the snowy streets, I thought about how being Santa allowed me to express the nurturing part of myself that sometimes felt bottled up. As a Daddy without a boy to care for, those moments of giving became even more precious.
I pulled into my driveway and looked at my small house. It was decorated with simple white lights along the roofline and a wreath on the door. Inside, my tree stood in the front window, decorated with ornaments I'd collected over the years. It wasn't the picture-perfect holiday scene from the movies, but it was all I had.For now.
And maybe this year, I'd find a bit more of the Christmas magic for myself. The Santa donation wasn't just about helping the shelter. It was about embracing who I was. A caregiver, a nurturer, and a Daddy without someone to care for.
