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No, I miss the sex. That’s what I’ve missed. Yes, I miss the sex.
We started walking, and Emilyn was a few feet in front of me. Adam leaned in to my side, and his nearness made me want him so badly.
“Will I see you tonight?”
I shook my head and looked up to his features. He appeared slightly frustrated at my nonverbal answer.
I spoke softly so that little ears wouldn’t hear, “No, I didn’t hear from you today, so I thought we weren’t meeting. Then, I was asked to watch Emilyn, and I told her mom I was free.”
His brows pulled together as we approached the cashier. The cashier was an attractive college-aged guy with blond hair and blue eyes. According to his name tag, his name was Joel. I handed my basket over, and Joel rang up my two items before putting them in a bag.
Emilyn asked, “Ainsley, can I have some money to ride the car over there?”
Before I had a chance to respond, Adam handed Emilyn a dollar. “There you go.”
“Thanks, man friend,” Emilyn sang as she skipped to the ride.
I took a deep breath at the term Emilyn was sure to start spouting to everyone. I gave Joel a smile and handed him my coupon for the noodles.
Joel took the coupon and scanned it as he said, “Nice nickname for your friend. She’s adorable. Is she your sister?”
“No, I watch her sometimes.” I gave a polite smile.
The new total of fourteen dollars and thirty-three cents flashed across the screen of the cash register. I handed the cashier my debit card. Adam hadn’t said a word, but he was practically scowling at the cashier. He seemed to be on the verge of hostile.
What is his problem?
As Joel handed me back my card and receipt, he said, “Would you happen to be free this weekend?”
Adam wrapped his hand around my waist. “What the fuck do you think man friend means? I’m standing right here, asshole. She’s off-limits.”
Joel and I both looked shocked. I was mortified.
Trying to salvage this situation, I calmly said, “I appreciate the offer, but I can’t. Thanks, Joel. Have a good day.”
Of course, Joel only gave me a tentative smile. I didn’t blame him for not saying anything else with the Neanderthal standing beside me. As Adam and I walked toward the ride where Emilyn was, my temper flared, and I stepped out of Adam’s embrace.
“Come on, Emilyn. It’s time to go,” I said sternly.
“I have one more ride. Please, Ainsley.” Her pleading voice got me almost every time.
I nodded at her to continue, and she gave me a huge grin.
Adam put his hand on my waist. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
I let out a slow breath and prayed for patience. What had just happened did not sit well with me. “No, you shouldn’t have. Do you not trust me? If you weren’t here, guess what? I still would have said no. I’m not going to break our agreement and cheat on you. Plus, we are outside of the club. We’re supposed to be acquaintances per your rules.”
Adam’s hand returned to my back. “I trust you. I’m on edge because I don’t get to see you tonight. I should have texted you earlier, but I didn’t want to crowd you. Last night, I wasted my time by sleeping, so I’m pissed at myself.”
My heart softened at his words. I glanced at Emilyn, who was lost in her ride, and then I turned to Adam.
“I forgive you. It’s weird seeing you outside of the club. I didn’t expect to run into you so quickly in my normal daily life. I wasn’t prepared, and I’m having a little difficulty with compartmentalizing this with how you’re acting.”
His hand came out and grabbed mine. “I understand. I feel the same way. I didn’t expect to react that way.”
His words confused me.
Emilyn walked up before I had a chance to ask him to clarify.
“It’s over. Thanks, man friend, for the dollar. Are we ready to go, Ainsley? I’m excited to cook with you.”
“Yes, Squirt.”
It was still warm outside, and the faint smell of grilled food wafted through the air. My insides were all knotted up, not knowing how I was supposed to feel. Adam had become possessive of me in public, and part of me liked it even though he’d overreacted. On the other hand, he had gotten borderline hostile with someone.
Would he hit me if he lost his temper?
I always feared I would be drawn to someone abusive like my mother had been.
“Hey, Ainsley’s man friend?”
I corrected Emilyn, “His name is Adam.”
“Hey, Adam. Do you want to come make spaghetti and watch a movie with us?” She was jumping up and down, looking hopeful.
My eyes darted to Adam’s, and he looked as perplexed as I felt. The last thing I wanted was for him to feel like he had to come. Plus, I needed to wrap my head around what had just happened.
This is casual sex. Per Adam, that’s it. It’s what I agreed to. We need to stick to his rules.
However, a big part of me still wanted him with a ferocity I wasn’t aware I had within me. My mind felt wishy-washy as different emotions fought within me.
To save Adam from the awkward moment, I answered, “Squirt, Adam has to get to work. He’s more than welcome, but he has a lot to do.”
Emilyn gave a disappointed huff and hopped in the backseat of the car. When I turned around, Adam was closer than publicly appropriate for friends.
“Will I see you tomorrow? I want to see you tomorrow, Ainsley.”
Again, my brain should not have been so happy to hear that from him, considering what we were doing.
“I think so.” Then, I remembered my agenda for tomorrow. “Wait, I have a group project meeting tomorrow. It’s been scheduled for a week. I’ll text you when we confirm a time. I may not be able to.”
“I’m anxious to get back inside you.” His voice was deep and gruff.
My insides turned into liquid molten lava. “I want that, too.”
We stood there, staring at each other. Then, a car honked from across the parking lot and broke our trance, causing us each to immediately take a step back.
He leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you later, Ainsley. I love your real hair. You’re gorgeous. I hope you let me fuck you next time without your pink wig,” he whispered.
When his stubble rubbed against my face, I turned into a raging mess of hot hormones. His words caused my fingers to ache with the need to touch him.
“I’d like that. I’ll see you later,” I said.
He swallowed hard. “I can’t wait.”
A child screamed in the distance and he shook his head as if clearing his thoughts. Without a word, Adam jogged off to a black motorcycle where he got on and cranked it in one fluid movement. He turned his baseball cap backward, looked my way, and gave me a wink. My heart thudded loudly in my chest at the sight. In the next moment, he was gone, and I leaned against my car, wondering if I was going to survive this adventure.
Emilyn and I were in the kitchen, adding the last of the sauce to the meatballs. We let it simmer as the noodles began to boil on the stove. It was a simple recipe with sauce, meat, and oregano. We were making a lot, which would give me leftovers for a few days. It was better than ramen noodles, which I lived off of frequently.
Emilyn had on my pink polka-dot apron as she helped me. “This smells good, Ainsley. How much longer until it’s ready?”
I stirred the simmering sauce in the pot. “About ten more minutes, and it should be done. Oh, we forgot to make the bread. We should do that. It won’t take too long.”
The doorbell rang.
“Don’t touch anything. I don’t want you to get hurt, okay?”
“Okay. I promise, Ainsley.”
As I headed the short distance to the front door, I could hear Emilyn taking deep breaths as she continued to smell the spaghetti.
I called over my shoulder. “Don’t hyperventilate in there, Squirt!”
Emilyn giggled as I peeped through the hole.
I gasped when I saw Adam holding what looked to be a loaf of French bread in a silver oblong package.
What is he doing here? We’re only supposed to see each other in the club.
My mind was going in a million different directions as I tried to compose myself. I opened the door but made sure that Emilyn could not see my man friend.
“Hey there.” He stood there, nervously looking at me.
“Hey.”
His brown eyes washed over me, and he smiled. “I was invited by Emilyn, and I was never given a chance to respond.”
“You’re here for dinner?” My voice sounded shocked and incredulous, not my normal composed self. His eyes dipped to my legs and I remembered I had on my short shorts I had changed into once we had gotten back to my place.
He grabbed my shirt and pulled me slightly forward. When my face passed the doorway, he pressed his firm lips to mine. I went to deepen the kiss when he pulled back.
“I’m here for dinner, if I’m still invited. I can’t go without having you tonight. When Emilyn leaves, we may redraw some lines, if you’re okay with it.”
Redraw lines?
My mind was racing with the possibilities.
I opened the door wider for him to enter. “Okay, come on in. After she leaves, we can talk about it.”
