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Ainsley stopped for a second as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. I looked at her features and imagined a little girl hiding under her covers, scared to death, as her mother was hit repeatedly in the next room.
She continued, “My dad came in one evening, shortly after receiving a huge promotion at work, and let us know he was leaving us. He went upstairs, packed his bags, and left. It broke my mom almost worse than the beatings. She barely got out of bed for weeks until one day she snapped out of it, and everything resumed as if my dad never left. We never spoke of him leaving. I don’t know why. The moment I was able to move out for college, I did. In the last four years, she’s gotten better, and she doesn’t conform exactly to the old schedule. I only go back home for her birthday and Christmas. I can barely stomach being there. It’s like a tomb of bad memories.”
A tear rolled down her face. When she blinked her eyes, two more followed down her cheek. “I’ve always felt like a coward for pretending that huge elephant in the room, knowing my mom was repeatedly beaten, doesn’t exist. When Mom and I are together, we act as if nothing ever happened, and I had the perfect childhood. I should have helped her at night instead of hiding beneath my blanket. She deserved someone who would try to protect her.”
Ainsley took a deep breath and continued before I had a chance to say anything, “I don’t expect you to have to deal with what happened today or even go to my mom’s house this Wednesday. For so long, I’ve pushed it aside, and it feels like after seeing my father today that all those wounds reopened all over again.”
I rubbed her hip through the fabric of her dress. Her eyes looked exhausted.
“Baby, I think you’re one of the bravest people I know to have endured what you have and still be who you are. I still want to go with you on Wednesday.”
She refocused on my dragon tat. “It’s only courageous when you stand up for those who are incapable of standing up for themselves. It’s easy to stand on the sidelines and watch.”
My childhood and family had been great, and I couldn’t possibly imagine what I would have turned out like if I’d had to endure what Ainsley had. I had no idea what to say, and then I remembered something my mom had told me as a kid.
“If it was done again, would you fight for what you believed?”
“Yes.”
“Then, baby, I think that’s what matters. You can’t right what’s been done. It’s happened. It’s in the past. But you can change the wrongs when they’re done in the future.”
Ainsley seemed fascinated with my tattoos. When we had first met, she seemed like she would like to get one herself one day. I liked the thought of ink being on her perfect body. I continued to rub soothing circles on her hips.
“That makes sense. I agree. It’s easier said than done though.”
I was about to speak when she asked, “What does your dragon tattoo mean?”
Ainsley was changing the subject, and I let her.
“The word dragon is derived from two Greek words. One of those words means a huge serpent or snake, and the other means seeing clearly. When I learned the meaning, it seemed like the perfect tat to get.”
Being with her like this, only the two of us, in our own world was heaven to me. She shivered, and I pulled the blankets further up on us. She snuggled in deeper to me.
“Does that tattoo have to do with the drama in your family at all? In the car, you made it sound like you had a messed-up family, too. Is this why you got this tattoo?”
Hell, I hate talking about what happened with my brother.
After a few reflective moments, I decided to share this piece of me. “Yes. I told you about Selena, my ex. On the night that I was going to propose to her, she left me after I found out she had cheated on me.”
She nodded.
“Well, turns out that the guy she had been cheating on me with was my brother, Jake, who is two years older than me.”
Her eyes got big as she gasped, “Your brother?”
I nodded. “Yes, my own fucking brother. We don’t speak anymore, and I haven’t seen him since I found out. The ironic thing of it all is that she left me to get married sooner, but they’re still not even engaged.”
“I’m sorry. Do you wish things had turned out differently?” Her voice was solemn as she spoke.
For some unexplainable reason, it was freeing to talk to Ainsley about what had happened. It was like a weight being lifted off my chest. “Not anymore.”
She smiled, and those baby blue eyes sparked to life from their melancholy state. “I like that answer.”
“Me, too, baby. Me, too. If she hadn’t, then I wouldn’t be lying here with one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met.”
Ainsley’s lips came to meet mine, and we began kissing slowly as we savored each other. Today, we had given each other more than we had given anyone else in both body and soul. I held her to me, giving her the comfort she needed. Her breathing finally evened out as I cherished her.
Ainsley was the one woman who made me want things I hadn’t dreamed of having in years.
It was Wednesday, the day we were going to see my mom. I was a nervous wreck. I wasn’t sure if I’d absorbed anything in class this morning. Instead, I’d wondered what dinner was going to be like, especially after seeing my dad this last weekend. Each time I closed my eyes, his cold dark pupils would emerge into my mind, trying to permanently sear the picture behind my irises.
Blinking the image away, I looked down at my watch, and I had approximately ten minutes left on my shift at the library. I was working the science fiction section today, making sure everything was in the proper order. After this, there was only the religious section left. Between all the interns, we had almost completed the entire library. We were about three weeks away until the fall semester started in September. I was so close to being done with school. I only had two more semesters. Finals for the second summer session were next week, and then I’d have a couple of weeks off prior to school starting.
I pushed the book cart back to the closet, and I tidied up the area. My boss, Angela, was sitting at the desk reading emails.
“Night, Angela. I’m going to clock out and then leave unless you need anything else.”
She turned my way. Her smile reached her warm caramel eyes. “I don’t need anything, but thanks for checking, Ainsley. Do you have any plans tonight?”
“My boyfriend and I are going to see my mom tonight.” I gave a small smile and wished I hadn’t mentioned my mom. Thinking about going to my childhood home only made me more nervous.
Angela knew I had started dating someone from one of our previous conversations last week while I had been working, so she didn’t press me for more information. “Have a wonderful time, Ainsley. Tell your mom I said hello.”
“Will do, and thanks. You have a fun night with the hubs and kiddo.”
“Thanks, Ainsley.”
I walked out into the Georgia sun and felt the summer heat pressing in on me. My phone vibrated. It was Adam texting me.
Adam: Are you heading back to my place?
Me: Yes, if you want me to.
Adam: Yes, I do. I’ll be by to pick you up at five. Dinner is at six sharp, right?
Me: Yes.
Just the thought of having dinner at six was hard. It was the time that my father had demanded to have dinner each and every night for as long as I could remember. A minute before or a minute after had meant problems for my mom that night.
I hate my dad.
The hate felt like it was bubbling over with everything that he had done to us. He had robbed something from my mom and me that we would never get back.
I got in my car and began driving to Adam’s place with my AC working as hard as it could go. My cell phone rang as I was halfway there.
“Hey, Nora,” I answered.
“Hey, chica. Are you going to Club Envy this weekend?” It sounded like Nora was munching on chips as she talked.
“No, I have to study for finals. What
do you have in mind?”
It sounded like she was putting more chips in her mouth as she continued crunching. “I wanted to go hear The Thrillhammers again. We can have some girl time and dance. What about the following weekend?”
I grinned. “I’ll be free from school. It’s a date.”
“Awesome. I can’t wait. I’m out. Gotta go get ready for work. Good luck with your mom tonight.”
“Thanks, girl. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Sounds good. See ya.”
“Bye, Nora.”
I hung up the phone as I pulled into Adam’s driveway. I got out and made my way inside where I was greeted by Lindy. Her gold fur was soft as I petted her.
“Hey, girl. I’ve got a few hours of homework. Do you want to help me?”
Her tail wagged as we made our way to the couch in the living room and sat down. She leaned her head against my legs as I got out all my books. I lost myself in my studies, pushing the thought of dinner with my mother to the far recess of my mind.
The door opened, and Lindy’s ears perked up, but she remained by my side. Adam strolled in, wearing khakis and a button-up shirt.
“Did you have a meeting?” I asked.
He walked up to me and gave me a kiss. “Yes. I had a business meeting about club legalities. How was your day? Are you done studying?”
“Almost. Give me ten more minutes, and I’ll be done for the evening.”
