August laughed. “Yeah, right,” then left to return the tray to the bar. Luka immediately downed his next shot.
He said, “I really don’t do that shit. I follow him like I follow any other artist.” He pointed at her with the tip of his cigarette to emphasize his seriousness.
“I believe you.” Iris lifted her shot to him then drained it. “Gross. Anyway, unlike a parasocial relationship, this guy sought you out, right?” She waited for him to nod. “Okay, then he’s been texting you a lot, yes?” Another pause and Luka wasn’t sure he liked where she was going with this. “Then really, you should treat this just like any other guy you just met. Stop being so fucking hung up on the details.
"Like okay—" She looked around the bar at everyone else. “Okay,that'sthe most handsome man on this patio other than you. What if he posted a missed-connection post saying he saw you here last night and wanted to say hi, but didn’t want to bother you while you were clearly hanging out with friends. Someone who knows you here sees this post online and goes, ‘hey thats my pal Luka!’ Now, Handsome Man reaches out to you over DMs and you say sure, why not? Fuck it! And you start texting. He’s sweet, and kind, and you find out he’s talented andsends you lots of cute selfies throughout the day. But then you find out he travels for work!”
“This hypothetical is getting really elaborate," Luka said, taking another drag of his cigarette as August rejoined them, looking confused about the conversation.
“Shush.” Iris waved her hand at him in what would be a rude way if they weren’t such good friends. “He’s gone a lot of the year, but he’s totally your type. What do you do?”
“Probably an open relationship type situation.” Luka frowned. “I don’t know if I could seriously date someone who traveled a lot; I like nesting with my partner. Having him gone half the year would be really difficult for me.”
“You’re not poly. You don’t even swing," August said.
Luka shrugged. “I know. But I wouldn’t want him to feel like he couldn't have sex while he’s away from me. That doesn’t seem fair.”
“You are such a bleeding heart," Iris cooed. “What if he was fine with keeping it in his pants like a big boy?”
“Maybe.” Luka stubbed out his cigarette and took a drink. “Okay, sure. I still wouldn’t like that he was gone so much. Maybe if I could go with him sometimes.”
“I don’t see why you couldn’t go with Reno on tour," August said.
“We are not talking about him," Luka replied, taking a drink. “We’re talking about that guy over there.”
“Who?”
“The hottie over there.” Iris pointed, then collapsed into a fit of laughter as August looked even more confused.
They said, “I leave you two alone for two seconds. Cheers.” They raised their margarita and all of them clinked their glasses together and took their time taking a drink. “I think she’s right.”
“You always do," Luka huffed.
“Well, yes. My wife is always correct.” August pinched Iris’ cheek and got swatted away for it. “However, if you can have this relationship working with a hypothetical bar hottie, if you can believe thathewould be genuinely interested in you and want to know about you, why not Reno?”
“Because he could have anyone he wanted.”
“Not me," Iris said, “Lesbians are out.”
“Fair enough.”
“And couldn’t a ten like that have anyone he wanted?” August motioned at the guy across the bar who was completely oblivious to the whole speculation. “Why accept that he could like you and not another ten?”
Luka was starting to feel uncomfortable. “I don’t know.”
“Exactly.” Iris pointed at him. “Now let me bum a cigarette.”
“No, you’re supposed to be quitting," Luka replied.
“Oh, but I’m Two Margarita Iris right now and she smokes.” She snorted and August rolled their eyes.
They said, “Just give her one, she won’t stop asking until you do.”
[Unknown Number]
I guess i'm confused now. I'd figure someone like you would get plenty.
someone like me?
