Luka’s breath came out staggered before he said, “You expect me to believe that?”
“No. But, you did say you’d give me the chance.”
“You are insufferably sincere. How do you live with yourself?”
Reno scoffed. “I know what I want. Is that so bad?”
Luka took his time responding. “When it’s me, yeah.”
Reno felt himself frowning. How could he get Luka to see himself the way Reno did? “Don’t say that. It is never a bad thing to want to be around you. I like talking to you. I enjoy our time together. I look forward to calling you. I want to make this work.”
“I don’t get it,” Luka said after a beat, “I’m not anyone special. Why fly me to see you? Why spend your money on me? Why do you set an alarm for four am just to talk to me when it’s convenient for me and inconvenient for you?”
Reno answered as honestly as he could, “When will you understand that ‘because I want to’ is enough reason to devote myself?”
“Because it’s not. It needs to make sense,” Luka bit back and Reno knew he had misstepped.
“Time.” Reno felt close to begging. “Give me time to show you.”
Reno listened to Luka breathing over the phone for far too long before Luka finally said, “Being away from you is miserable. The time that passes with you so far makes things worse, not better.”
“So…" Reno dared to hope. “You’ll visit?”
“When?”
“As soon as you can! Name the day and you arrive. I have a month off of work starting tomorrow.”
“I’d need to ask for time off of my work,” Luka replied, sounding reserved. “If I can get the time off, then it’s a yes.”
Reno felt all his nerves drop away. “You’re as crazy as me, aren’t you?”
“I already flew across the country to fuck you. What do you think?”
Reno gasped, “I love when you talk like that.”
“Like what?” Luka finally sounded like he wasn’t as nervous either.
“Filthy. Blunt. You’re so attractive to me.”
“Um," Luka made a low noise. “You have no idea how blunt I can be.”
Reno stretched out in bed. “I want to learn. I want to know all parts of you.”
“Christ,” Luka swore. “If you keep talking like that to me, I don’t think I’ll ever leave.”
“My master plan is working,” Reno jested before turning a bit serious. “I won’t stop. Promise.”
“Good, because if you’re just love-bombing me and I end up moving across the world one day for you, then you stop being likethisto me, I will make your life hell.”
“We don’t have to worry about that.”
“I will worry, regardless," Luka replied. “I have anxiety, and Reno?—”
Reno waited for Luka to finish but he didn’t. “Yes?”
“I. Well. This is big for me. It’s why I pulled away this week. I thought, maybe if I tried for a moment to pretend like I wasn’t feeling everything that I’m feeling, I’d calm down. It didn’t work. Stupid of me to try to pretend like my life hasn’t suddenly turned upside down because of you. You’re teasing this future in front of me, and if I let myself believe I’ll actually be cared for, then what will I do when that ends up not being true?”
“I will take care of you if you let me.” Reno tried to sound as reassuring as he felt. “Even if you pull away again.”
