“No.” Luka might have a small idea, but he wanted to hear it anyway.
“Alright." Reno rolled to the side, pushing Luka’s leg out from under him and putting himself in the gap between thecouch and Luka. He set his head on his hand, looking down at Luka, his other arm draped delicately over Luka’s middle. “Listen.”
“I am. Intently.”
“Good.I like you,” Reno said. “I want to be yours. You can have me if you’ll keep me. I give you everything you want to take, I won’t hold back.” Reno looked at the ceiling, taking in a long breath before continuing, “I don’t know if you believe me, because we are so new, but I do mean it. I’d like for you to become my favorite person in the world. I'd like to answer to you, I’d like to come home to you, I’d like to care for you when you feel bad, I’d like to make your dreams true. I?—”
Reno paused and looked down at Luka and his eyes went wide.
“Luka, are you?” He reached out to run a finger over Luka’s cheek, and it came away wet.
Luka hurried to hide his face in his arm, wanting to crawl out of his skin as Reno started to fuss over him. Reno didn’t let him hide, pulling his arm away from his face and tugging him until his face was cradled against Reno’s chest. Luka could feel himself shaking.
It had to be the lack of sleep. It had to be the single glass of wine or the overwhelming smell of Reno all around him or the sounds of London just outside or the fact that all of this was just, so, so much.
“I’m sorry,” Luka said. “I cry easily.”
“That’s ok, I’m sorry for making you cry.”
Luka held onto him, trying to will his body to stop trembling. “It’s. It’s not really a bad thing, I just.” Luka took in a breath, trying to steady himself and failing. “How is this real? How do you feel this way aboutme?How come you know exactly what I’ve always wanted to hear and want so, so badly to believe?”
“I don’t.” Reno squeezed him. “I don’t know what you want to hear, I’m just really lucky.”
“I’ll say.” Luka choked out a laugh. “I’ve never thought of myself as lucky, but I’m starting to wonder if like, all my luck was being saved for right now and it’s being used up.”
Reno hummed, and Luka could feel it vibrate against his cheek. “If it's all used up, then I will give you some of mine. I pass it to you—now you will have success in all your future endeavors.”
“Don’t think it works that way,” Luka said, “but I’ll buy some lotto scratchers tomorrow anyway.”
Reno laughed and helped Luka rearrange himself, wiping the last of his tears away from his face with his sleeve.
Reno patted Luka’s hair back into place and ran his hands over Luka’s face, then he asked, “Can I be?”
“Be what?”
“Yours. Will you let me give you me?”
Luka took in a shaky breath and asked, “What does that mean, Reno? What does that look like?”
“It means letting me give you all my devotion and intentions. I put my heart in your hands and trust you. What you do with that is up to you.”
“That’s so dangerous,” Luka said, his eyes wide. “What if I get scared and run?”
“Then you take my heart with you.”
Luka shook his head. “I can’t do that to you.”
“Then don’t run,” Reno said and Luka felt his eyes burning again.
Reno wiped his tears away, making soothing noises, not pressuring Luka for a reply. He leaned forward and kissed the corners of Luka’s eyes and when he backed away, he looked misty himself.
“You can give me you when you’re ready. I can wait.”
“Okay.” Luka closed his eyes, feeling Reno’s warmth, his gentleness, his endless understanding. “Give me these two weeks. Don’t pressure me for an answer until the day before I’m set to go home. On that day, make me make a choice.”
“I can do that.”
“Until then, keep your heart. I don’t want to hurt you if I decide to leave.”
