I just wanted an excuse to spend time with my wife without any expectations. Was that so bad? While we were together… and then the way she mentioned monogamy after the act?
I swear to fucking God, that word hits like a damn hammer. A part of me—a small, ugly, jealous part—immediately pictured her with someone else. Another man’s hands on her. Another man’s mouth on her. Her body underneath the fucker that I still haven’t been able to identify...
My stomach had twisted, the worst kind of possessive rage boiling up inside of me until I suddenly had to remind myself that she wasn’t talking about her being loyal to me.
She was talking about me being loyal to her.
I know my rep. I know how hard it will be to shake it, but without even meaning to, I’ve been loyal to the brunette I met that night at the Last Prayer. Now that she’s my wife? Now that I’ve given her my name, my protection, myeverything?
I want to be worthy of Annaliese. I want to be a better man for her.
I want to be the kind of husband she deserves.
And that’s why, after I close my visor again and start up my bike, I leave Annaliese’s family home and head on over to Connor and Haven’s.
I need advice from someone who clawed his way out of the same darkness I’m afraid might swallow me whole, and there is no one better than to tell me how he and his wife escaped the oubliette than Connor Heyward.
As of this April,only two people are allowed to visit the Heywards without advance notice: me and Loni Heller. It used to be just me. It took all five of us—me, Adrian, Dallas, Des, and Connor—to get her out of that hellhole she was trapped in, but when she finally stopped being catatonic… finally found her voice again… she made it adamantly clear that she wanted nothing to do with three of us.
She hated Adrian for the way he used to treat Loni, and how she was handpicked to be his Offering back when we were kids.
She hated Dallas because he was Adrian’s cousin and Jack Collins only son. Since she absolutely loathed the former King, her hatred trickled down to Dallas.
And Des… well, he was a douche. Despite how tight we were in school, we’d drifted away some in the years that followed, but we figured that we could still call on him when we needed him. And while Desmond St. James helped with breaking Haven out, he was still a douche about it, and then he eventually tried to Claim Loni and, well, Adrian hit the limit of his patience.
Because I never really upset her, Haven was cool with me. And Connor… she was made for him.
Before Loni left Harmony Heights, back when we were all eighteen or so, she was best friends with Haven. They lost touch after Loni disappeared, and when she was dragged back to marry Desmond, she had no idea what had happened to Haven. Adrian—protecting his new wife from the truth—didn’t want her to know what her friend had gone through while she was gone. Eventually, she found out, and he had me visit Connor and Haven to see if she would be willing to talk to Loni.
Adrian thought that might help Haven. Connor thought that Adrian should butt out. The two almost came to blows, with good ol’ Bas playing peacemaker. And, hell, I must’ve done something right because, all these months later, Loni and Haven are back to being friends again.
So she has a pass to visit. Adrian? Yeah, he’ll still get a door in his face if he tries to visit.
Me? After I knock, Connor opens the door, meeting me there with a finger pressed to his lips.
“She’s sleeping,” he whispers, and neither one of us has to ask who he’s referring to. “She had a nightmare last night. Couldn’t sleep at all. Eventually, I had to give her something to help her go down.”
The quiet pain in his rough voice is familiar. So is the steel just beneath it.
I get it. Haven isn’t only his wife. She’s the woman he damn near tore the world apart to find, and after he did, he’s done everything he can to bring her back to him. It’s been a year and a half. She’s so much better than she was, but there are times when… yeah. It can get bad, and I don’t blame Connor for doing what he has to.
He jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “Did you want to come in?”
“If it’s okay.”
Connor nods. “Yeah. Just keep your voice down.”
“You got it.”
Haven’s gotta be sleeping on the second floor. We ease our way through the front room, going until we reach the small table in the kitchen.
Before I sit down, I reach into my front pocket. It was something else I had stowed in my saddlebag once I realized I wouldn’t have to use it. I grabbed it before I walked down the sidewalk that led to Connor and Haven’s cozy home. Now I lay the small glass vial on the table, pushing it toward him.
“You didn’t need it?”
I shake my head. “Turns out, my wife sleeps like the dead. Thanks for slipping me the sedative at the wedding, but I neverhad to use it. I can sneak in, spend a few hours next to her, then get out and, as far as I know, she has no clue that I was there.”
Except for my cologne lingering in her space, but I do that on purpose. Call is a subliminal message. I want her to get so used to it that, even when I’m not there, she imagines that I am.
