When I still don’t respond, he takes the heart and drops it back inside the pried-open ribcage before pulling me in for a hug and slapping my back hard. This isn’t a bro hug. It’s a real one, and I cling to him, clutching his suit jacket tightly and staring at an invisible spot on the wall. My eyes burn and sting, but no tears fall.
He pulls back and holds me by the shoulders. “Whatever you need, I’m here just like I was then. You hear me? You’re not alone.”
I think I nod. I’m not sure. The next thing I’m vaguely aware of is being led outside, away from prying eyes, and guided to a waiting car. Cecilia is not here yet, so I wait in silence, staring at my crimson fingers.
When she finally enters the car, she spots my blood-soaked appearance, and her mouth falls open. She starts to speak butwisely snaps her mouth shut and stays silent for the duration of the journey home.
Once we arrive at the house, she slides her eyes in my direction at the bottom of the stairs, but I don’t have it in me to reassure her that everything is fine.
It’s not.
Nothing is fine. She went through my laptop and was ready to hand the sensitive information to Beaumont.
But she didn’t,a voice whispers in the recesses of my mind.
But she was going to,a different, more insistent voice counters.
“Go to bed,” I tell her, shoving my bloodied hands into my pockets.
She hesitates, peering back at me one final time before she turns and ascends the stairs. It’s obvious by her slumped shoulders that she wants me to talk to her about tonight, but I don’t have the energy. Not now.
I wait until she’s out of sight before entering the kitchen and making a beeline for the cellar. As I stomp across the small space, van der Meer’s cruel chuckle greets me. Sometimes, I forget that his eyes have adjusted to the darkness after so many years locked up down here, forgotten, unloved, and left to wither away.
“It looks like you finally cracked, huh? Lost your iron hold on that self-control you cling to so dearly.” He shuffles closer to the bars while I light the torch, and flames flicker wildly in the dim glow as he barks a harsh laugh. “Look at you, drenched in blood. How long did you keep him alive? An hour? Two? All night?”
My jaw tightens as I drop the box of matchsticks to the floor.
“How does it feel to be a monster, Darian?” he asks, gripping the bars with filthy hands. “We’re not so different, you and I.”
“Shut up!”
My wet, blood-soaked, and cold clothes glue to my skin as I walk closer and stare down at him with all the fury, disgust, and hatred I can dig up from the trenches of my tired soul. He doesn’t deserve to sully the air with his rancid breaths.
“Let me guess.” His eyes gleam as he peers up at me. “My daughter is the reason behind tonight’s bloodshed?” A rush of laughter disturbs the tense silence. “Only a woman can ruin a proud man like you, Darian Delacroix. It’s the universe’s cruel humor that it had to be my daughter.”
“SHUT UP!” I roar, spit flying from my mouth.
If anything, he laughs even louder. Crueler. “Look at you. Do you think she’ll ever love a monster like you?” Shaking his head regretfully, he presses his brow against the bars. “You’re not even a monster. You’re something worse. Somethingweak.”
Weak.
Weak.
Weak.
The word echoes in my head, and I crouch down, pulling hard at my hair as an intense throbbing pounds against my skull. “Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.”
“You hid while your mother was being raped again and again and again.”
“Please…stop.”
“And now you’re hiding from my daughter because you’re too afraid to let her see the real you.” His yellow teeth barely hang onto his gums as he peels his lips back in a condescending, belittling smile. “You’reweak.”
The way he enunciates the word makes my skin crawl with imaginary bugs. “I’m not weak!”
“Yes, you are. You couldn’t protect your mother then, and you can’t protect my daughter now. You would sooner hide”—he digs his finger into his temple—“in here than crawl out from your hiding place. You’re the weakest of the weak.”
Falling back onto my ass, I rock on the spot while shaking my head almost frantically to shut out his words.
