“I thought I could take it. I’ve taken worse. But he said it like it was nothing. Like I’ve never meant a fucking thing.”
“Oh, honey.” Her hands were in my hair. “You do.” The words were so soft I almost missed them. But they landed right where I’d needed them. I squeezed her tighter.
“You do,” she said again, stronger this time. “You mean so much, Ansel. You mean so many things to so many people. Tome..”
I let out a slow breath, shaking, and turned my head just enough to press my mouth to her temple. She tipped her face up to look at me. Her eyes were glassy. Her bottom lip trembled.
“Are you crying?” I asked, voice hoarse.
She let out a wet laugh and nodded. “I’m happy,” she said. “Ididn’t think I’d ever get this. Not again. Not someone who… stays. Who stands up for me. Twice in one day is kind of a record…” She brushed a tear from her cheek.
“I’m not going anywhere, Junie.”
“I know.” Her voice was soft, almost too quiet for me to hear. A secret that the universe didn’t get to claim — not yet.
My heart raced harder as I kissed her. Slow and soft and certain. No hurry. No heat. Just something tokeep. Something just for us. I knew what she was handing me; I couldfeelthe depth of this little truth she was trusting me with.
And when I pulled back, she looked up at me like I hung the stars — likeshecouldn’t believe I was real — and it felt like something cracked open in my chest.
I let her go just long enough to reach for her hand, then tugged her back toward the bed. The sheets were still rumpled. The sun was slanting through the curtains. My chest ached. She climbed in after me, quiet, still wrapped in the comforter. And when she curled into my side, I tucked her against me like I’d never let her go again.
She stayed pressed to my chest, breath warm against my skin. One leg tangled over mine. The blanket pooled at our waists.
For a while, all I could do was breathe her in.
And then, in this tiny voice — so small I almost missed it — she whispered,“Sometimes I feel like I’ve loved you since the second you looked at me.”
It hit me like a sucker punch.
She didn’t mean to say it. I knew that the second the words slipped out of her — quiet, barely-there. But I felt it, fuck, Ifeltit.
Like the wind knocked out of me. Like something holy.
But then her body went stiff.
And she pulled back.
Her eyes flew open like she could shove the words back downjust by blinking. “Shit,” she whispered, already sitting up. “Shit — no, I didn’t mean — I wasn’t trying to say that.”
I sat up too, slower. “Hey?—”
“No, I mean it,” she said, tripping over the words. Her hands were shaking. “That wasn’t — I didn’t meanthat. I’m tired, I didn’t sleep well, I was just talking — I wasn’t?—”
“It’s okay,” I said. Too fast. Too calm. “You don’t have to explain.”
“Ido,” she insisted, knuckles going white where she held the edge of the blanket to her chest. “You looked like — fuck, I didn’t mean to mess this up.”
“You didn’t.”
“I did.”
My throat felt raw. I couldn’t look at her, not directly. “You just panicked. I get it.”
“I wasn’t trying to say it,” she whispered again.
“I know.” I swallowed hard, cupping her cheek in my hand. “It’s been an emotional day.”
That made her go still. Like she wasn’t sure whether to run or cry or both.
