So I left. And the door slammed behind me — final and cold.
CHAPTER 42
The door slammed, and I think it shattered a piece of my heart with it. The sound of rattled wood echoed in the room, like it was erasingeverythingthat had come before.
I stayed frozen, hands clenched tightly in my lap, eyes fixed on a spot on the floor that wasn’t really there.
His words echoed louder than the door —You’re the only girl I’ve ever wanted to take home to my mother.
I wanted to believe him. God, I wanted to.
But a shadow lurked beneath that hope — the ghost of every time Joel looked through me like I was invisible, like I was nothing more than a placeholder.
How do you believe you’re worth something more, when your history has been built on being unwanted?
The fight — my denial — was supposed to be armor, but it only tore us both open.
There was a part of me, a strong,visceral,part, that wanted to reach out to him, even though he had just left. To apologize — lie? — and tell him we were okay.
That everything between us was going to be okay.
But there was another part of me, and that part… itfeltsmaller, but it hit me like a train.
That part was so fucking scared. Scared of being seen.
Scared of opening up to him.
Scared of beingsohurt again.
I knew that running into Ansel the same week I had officially signed my papers was kismet.
Iknewthat him showing up to my bookstore months later was destiny.
But what am I supposed to do with these acts of fate, when the Fates had left me battered, bruised, and bleeding so recently?
I couldn’t look him in the eye, see the deep blue of his gaze, the greys in his sandy hair, and the wrinkles that scrunched up when he smiled… and justforget.
Better this way.
The voice in my head was insistent.
I hadn’t even really meant it… It was instinct to throw that wall up. To put up a barrier that kept everyone at arm’s length.Especiallynow.
Somewhere between the stupid texts, falling asleep in his arms, andpretendingto be his girlfriend… Ansel had turned into the most important person in my life.
And I fucked that up.
Just by being me.
Joel would besoproud of me right now. A soft knock at the door startled me.
“Miss Haddock?” The driver’s voice, muffled through the wood. “Mr. Barlowe sent for you. Your flight leaves in two hours.”
I swallowed hard, throat tight. My fingers fumbled as I packed my things — if you could even call it packing. Just shoving clothes into my bag like it mattered, like it would keep me from falling apart.
It wouldn’t.
The car ride was quiet. The driver offered small talk, and I smiled politely, gave the shortest answers possible. My mind stayed fixed on the way Ansel’s hand had trembled on the door handle. The way he’d looked back at me like — like maybe I’d stop him.
