“Don’t worry,” Mrs. Bell says softly. “It’s just for the fun of it. And if you can’t do it this year, there is always next year too.”
Her words make me feel a bit easier.
I don’t have to, but do I want to? Or don’t I want to?
It has become so difficult to decide on what I truly want.
Battling my insecurities is a daily struggle. I was at my lowest when Aspen picked me up. He managed to patch my soul up a little and help me with my depression, so I was able to move here. Coming here to stay in a new town with new people is a new chance. For the first time in months, it feels like I can actually breathe again. This is probably the last chance I will ever get, and I want to keep fighting to get back control over my life.
nine
*SOREN*
Leo comes prepared. When I pick him up, he is not only dressed warmly, but he has everything prepared for Barkley as well and carries a backpack.
“I know you said you have it all covered,” he says. “But I got us sandwiches…” He glances at me, a flash of anxiety in his eyes. “I hope that’s okay.”
“Okay? It’s fantastic!” I reassure him. “I brought hot tea for us and some snacks. We can have your sandwiches too. And then after our hike, I thought we might go for dinner?”
“You really thought this through,” he says, eyes blinking in surprise. “Oh, wait. I need to take my meds before we leave.”
I take his backpack for him, waiting while he hurries back into his apartment. A couple of minutes later, he is back. “Sorry,” he mutters. “It’s just… I need to take these at a certain time eachday. If I take them too late, they might keep me awake at night.” He flashes me an anxious look. “I am taking antidepressants.”
I stare at him, slack-jawed. He just told me this so openly, and I am not sure how to react to make him see how much I appreciate his trust. Before pondering over it for too long and making him anxious, I decide to keep it simple and honest. “Thank you so much for telling me. It means a lot to me that you trust me enough to share this with me.”
Holding my breath, I wait for his response. I hope I didn’t make it awkward by saying the last bit, but he just smiles, his cheeks tinted in a slight reddish tone.
He tends to blush a lot, which is adorable.
“Are we ready?” he asks me.
“Yes, we’ll take my jeep and drive for an hour. Then we’ll have a two-hour hike. Oh, and we can always return in case we get tired.”
“I hope I am not going to hold you back,” he says while following me to my jeep. “Mrs. Bell said you go hiking regularly.”
“I just enjoy nature and spending time outside,” I explain. “It’s not about being so ambitious that I need to reach the top of a mountain every time.”
He brushes a strand of his hair from his face. “If I am walking too slowly, you can always go ahead.”
“No such thing,” I say. “Hiking rule number one: Never leave anyone behind!” Leo still looks nervous, so I try to reassure him further. “I am really doing it for the fun of it, and for the feeling of freedom it gives me. And it’s honestly even better now that you are coming too.” I wink at him. “As I said, nothing better than good company.”
I hope I managed to nip his anxiety in the bud, but I am not sure. I am not always the best with words. Robin thinks I am too direct sometimes, too matter-of-fact, as he calls it.
Leo, however, smiles slightly and nods. “I am curious if I’ll enjoy it. I bet Barkley will!”
“I am betting on the same,” I chuckle.
“Then it’s not a bet.”
“Yeah, I lost money recently betting with one of the cats I rescued.” I pause. “I think he was acheetah.”
Leo blinks. Once, twice, then bursts into laughter.
My heart warms at the way he smiles and laughs. Although I haven’t known him for long, I‘ve already noticed that he doesn’t laugh or smile a lot, which is why I’m always so happy when I can make him smile.
We reach my jeep, tossing our backpacks into the trunk and then finally take off. “So,” I start. “Did I catch that correctly? Mrs. Bell gossiped about me.”
“Not just about you,” he groans. “She and the Porters were talking about the whole East Sunhaven vs. West Sunhaven rivalry. Don’t judge me, but for an outsider it’s a bit, well…“
