He shook his head slowly. “No. The other thing.”
She swallowed, that slender throat working. “I said a lot of things. You’re going to have to spell it out for me.”
“I got what I wanted, and I’m done with you?” In the past? Any other woman? Yeah, he would have been done. He would have walked away without a backward glance.
But none of those women had been Rusty West.
Her gaze finally met his, full of challenge. “That’s the truth, isn’t it?”
She was exquisite, full of fire and attitude, talented as hell. Yet he realized in that moment she was so insecure, so afraid that she wasn’t worth the effort, that she’d decided to push him away rather than risk getting hurt. She saw him with another woman and immediately thought the worst, thought that he could move on to the next and not look back.
He’d figured out early on that wouldn’t be possible with Rusty. Tonight he also realized she could never know about his plan to try to take her business from her. If she ever found out, she’d never forgive him. Never trust him again. As tough as she tried to act, it was just that, an act. She was fragile, needed to be treated with care. It was there, shining from her eyes, the wariness, the disappointment. The pain.
She actually believed the bullshit she’d just spouted.
Like hell he would let her go. He thought he could, but it was too late for that. “No. It’s not the fucking truth.”
She actually flinched. “What?”
“I told you what I wanted. I laid it all out for you. I told you I wanted to give us shot. Do I have to go over it again? Is there something that you didn’t understand?”
“No. But I…”
“What? You thought I was lying to get you in my bed? That I’d screw around on you without a second thought?”
“I…ah…”
Possessiveness reared up inside him, a dark energy simmering just below the surface as his next words formed in his head. “Someone hurt you. I can see it. You show me every time you clam up, try to push me away. Who hurt you, baby?”
Her eyes widened, and she shook her head. “No…that’s not it…”
“Tell me.” Taking the seat beside her, he hauled her into his lap, then gripped her chin, tipping her face up to his. “I’m not playing with you, Rusty. No one reacts the way you just did without some shit in your past. I know that better than anyone. I want us to move forward, but I need to know what I’m dealing with here. I need to know how to show you I’m in this for the long haul.”
“You are?” she whispered.
“What the fuck have I been telling you?”
She rested her hand on his bicep. “Right. I’m sorry.”
“So you’ll talk to me?”
Laying her head on his chest, she nodded against his pec, melting into him, soft and sweet, dropping that barrier. “Okay.”
“I’m listening.”
Her swallow was audible, but then she finally started talking. Thank God.
“I had a major crush on this guy at school, Brian Jamison. I never told anyone but Piper and Alex. I guess it was hard to hide. They pegged me right off. I’d start blushing and stuttering whenever he was around.” She wriggled on his lap, getting comfortable. “I had a reputation at high school. Some of the guys called me a cock tease, frigid, ice queen. You know, that kind of thing. I learned from a fairly young age my looks got me attention, whether I wanted it or not. I hated it. I’ve always hated it. People don’t tend to look any deeper, you know? So I never went on dates or favored any one guy.”
He rubbed her back, encouraging her to carry on. He had an idea where this was going and could already feel his blood pressure starting to boil over. “Keep going, Foxy.”
“Anyway, I liked Brian more than I’d ever liked any other guy. For the first time I wanted to be noticed, I wanted him to see me, get to know me. Our senior prom was coming up and a few guys had asked me out, but I wasn’t interested in any of them. So, nervous out of my mind, I got up the courage to ask him to go with me. He said yes right away. I was excited, really happy that he liked me too.”
Of course he did. Little asswipe.
“Prom night came, and we all went. We had a blast…then afterward Brian took me to the hotel he’d booked for us, and me being naive and, I thought, in love, followed blindly. He started kissing me as soon as we got in the door, no small talk, then onto the bed. It was embarrassing and rushed. He made no attempt to prepare me and just pulled off my underwear, pushing inside me before I was ready. It wasn’t only embarrassing, it hurt as well, and not just for the obvious reason.”
Every muscle in his body went rock solid. He was sure plenty of teenage girls had similar stories, assholes that treated them like shit, but this was Rusty, his Rusty, and the thought of anyone treating her that way turned him inside out.
