Melissa’s eyes locked on my egg, probably wondering why she hadn’t found them in the fridge.
That’s because they were locked away in my room.
“Why was Graves over?” I asked.
“He wanted to see me,” she said, taking another bite of toast.
“He came to fix her shelf,” Daisy said without looking up from her phone.
“You could’ve let us know. If he finds Dottie, we’re doomed.”
Daisy’s eyes flicked up from her screen for half a second. “She’s got a point.”
Yeah. Don’t be a dick, Melissa.
This was my final year—thank God. Then I could unleash my accounting powers on the world during my placement year and finally start earning some real cash.
?? ?? ??
The lecture hall smelled faintly of instant coffee and the usual stale stench of crushed dreams, compounded by poor ventilation. I scanned the room—half the students bright-eyed and scribbling like they were auditioning for The Apprentice, the other half hollow shells staring into the middle distance, pens dangling loosely between their fingers.
The girl two rows down had perfected the art of sleeping with her eyes open. Across the aisle, a mature student in a wool cardigan nodded thoughtfully at every sentence, the kind of enthusiasm that made me question my own life choices.
Professor Bains shuffled to the podium in brown trousers and a matching jacket that might once have been a few shades darker, topped with a knitted green vest that could double as camouflage in a mossy forest. He clutched a stack of papers like they were the last remnants of civilisation.
“Today,” he began, clearing his throat, “we’ll be covering updates to the Corporation Tax Act.”
A collective groan rippled through the hall—not loud, but palpable. The sound of countless souls quietly wilting.
He pressed on with the kind of grim determination only a man who’s given the same lecture every year since 1994 could muster. “You’ll note the adjustment to marginal relief…”
I underlined a few key phrases to look engaged. The truth was, I was more interested in the way the fluorescent light flickered against the ceiling. By minute twenty, I was calculating how long I could hold my breath before passing out—purely for research purposes, of course.
Two hours later, I left with a head full of tax law and an existential crisis. It wasn’t that I hated accounting—I just wasn’t sure I wanted to live and die by spreadsheets.
Daisy was heading into teaching, Belle was involved in drugs—or the legal term, the pharmaceutical industry—and Melissa was studying media and communication. I still had no idea what that even was. Their lectures surely couldn’t be as dull as mine.
?? ?? ??
I emptied the last bag of popcorn into the plastic bowls before heading back into the living room. The girls had paused the movie and were chatting. I was halfway to the couch when I realised what they were talking about.
“You shagged Nathan, Daniel,andCallum in their dorm room?” Belle asked, eyes wide, while I mentally tried to calculate what went where.
Melissa nodded, her perfectly plucked eyebrow raised in triumph. The smug look was well deserved. I sighed—not in judgement, but disappointment in myself. I wished I had even a fraction of her confidence.
“Wasn’t it… awkward?” Daisy asked, eyes razor-focused on Melissa. “You know with all that man meat?”
“I mean, there was a little bit of fumbling in the beginning,” Melissa said, laughing lightly, “but we all found our groove. Total dickfest though. I have no regrets.”
There she was, three dicks in one night, and I’d had one and a half my entire time at uni.
She just oozed sex appeal. I, on the other hand, probably looked like a nerdy boy with long hair.
I shoved the bowl of popcorn onto Melissa’s lap and sat on the corner of the couch next to Belle.
I wasnotjealous of her sordid cockfest.
“Well, to be fair, she had one for each hole,” Belle sniggered.
