“That’s just not my focus right now. I already told you. Between my new job and getting used to being back in the city, I have my hands full.”
Adam eyes me thoughtfully, then his look turns mischievous.Uh oh.
“Are you sure it’s that and not that you’re still hung up on that Kendra woman?”
Kendra Gray, I correct in my head. Adam slaps the bar when I don’t respond.
“I knew it! You must really like her.”
“What’s not to like?” I grumble, feeling defensive. I guess today is “Rag on Damon” Day. Adam raises his hands.
“Nothing. I just thought when you didn’t follow through after that picture came out, you’d moved on.”
Ugh! That fucking picture!I’m embarrassed to admit I saved it on my phone and may have jerked off to the memory of that look more than a few times.
I’d had every intention of hitting her up once I got the job, but the interview process ended up taking way longer than expected. A second interview turned into a fourth, and by then I figured I’d missed my window. What woman is going to stand for a man not making a move when she goes out on a limb like that? She probably thinks I left her hanging. Idid…accidentally.
Adam’s watching me too keenly, so I’m careful not to make eye contact. He keeps staring until I finally break.
“I think our window may have closed while I was getting myself situated. It’s been weeks.”
Exasperated, Adam pinches the bridge of his nose.
“There’s no shot clock, Damon! Did you mess up by waiting too long? Maybe. But you won’t know until you grow a pair and actually ask her out!”
Adam storms away from the table just as Cory and Noah come back, fifty dollars richer from their pool game. Noah orders another round of drinks, and Cory proceeds to give the play-by-play of the game. They’re surprisingly excited about fifty bucks given how much money they both make. Even after quitting his job, Cory’s still raking it in with consulting.
I know Adam’s right: Kendra won’t wait forever, and I need to man up and make a move if I want her. It might already be too late, though I haven’t seen anything about a new guy online. And I’ve definitely been checking.
But with an ex who’s a literal R&B icon, who could blame me for being a little intimidated? For wanting to wait until I win a few games, earn a few paychecks, to pump back up my confidence? I doubt she’d be impressed by a walk around the park or a candlelit dinner when her ex probably has a private jet and only eats at Michelin-star restaurants.
No. I’m going to keep my distance until I’ve got something to offer, and if I’ve missed my chance by then, I’ll just have to deal with that. There’ll be other fish in the sea…maybe.
Chapter seven
Kendra
Itry to scroll through my phone while Denise pins the pieces of the wrap dress prototype to my camisole.
“Hold still,” she chides with a mouth full of straight pins. “Unless you want me to stick you.”
She raises an eyebrow in warning, and I assume the position, putting my hands back on my hips and trying not to fidget.
“Sorry, girl. I can’t help it. Ever since Andre started publicly commenting on my photos, I’ve had to stay vigilant so things don’t get out of hand again. I went to a body positivity panel a few days ago, and I just know he’s going to talk some shit.”
Denise murmurs vaguely, still focused on assembling the fabric against my body.
“The Look Seen ‘Round the World” was just the start of Andre’s shenanigans. Though our divorce has been final for six months now and his Instagram looks like the who’s whoof young, skinny pop stars, he still finds time to comment on almost every photo I’m tagged in. They range from a completely innocuous thumbs up emoji or a smiley face, to a blatantly flirtatious winky face or “You always looked so good in red” comment. I don’t understand his endgame. And because I don’t understand it, I’m on edge. Is he just trying to be funny? Is his delusion so deep-seated that he actually thinks we might get back together?
I asked my lawyer if he could issue a cease and desist or something, but he said that so far, none of the comments violate any terms of the settlement. The settlement is beside the point! This fool is flirting with me in front of the entire internet and all my potential employers, while openly dating whichever music sensation has a new single out that week. I wonder if the label is behind the whole thing; they always were way too involved in our relationship.
And he knows my dad doesn’t know the details of the breakup, so he keeps coming by with a nice bottle of wine or a fruit basket, or offering to take him out for a guy’s night like they used to when we were married. Then, like clockwork, I get a call to reconsider, “find out Andre’s side of the story”. My dad always had a soft spot for Andre, willing to overlook all the yellow and red flags for the sake of standing by my man. To him, nothing merited a conversation, let alone marriage counseling. When I served Andre with the divorce papers, he wouldn’t even look at me; said I’d never looked more like my mom.
I sigh and flinch when one of the pins pokes my side.
“I warned you,” Denise admonishes gently before adjusting the pin.
I’m also on edge because my self-imposed dick drought is going on a year with no end in sight. I’ve used my vibrator so much, it’s starting to feel like I’m giving my pussy electric shock treatment. Daniela offered to set me up with her hot roommate when we both worked the Loft event last month, but I turned her down. Lord only knows why! I’m certainly not hung up on a certain shy basketball hunk who follows me around like a shadow. Ugh, I barely remember the touch of a man!
