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The pain wasn’t near as bad as it had been. Tears filled my eyes. “He’s so perfect, Kurt. He looks like you.”
Kissing my forehead, he whispered, “You did so good. He’s beyond perfect. And I’ve been telling him all about you.”
I hated that I’d missed Dylan’s birth. As I looked at his perfect little face, the fog cleared a little more, and pieces continued to fall into place. We were running. Adriane came out. George had taken off. Shots were fired. The yelp. Dustin. “What about Dustin? George? Adriane?”
The monitors beeped like crazy as my heart raced.
Kurt touched my face. “The doctor needs you to remain calm. George is out of surgery. Dustin is almost done, and they have Adriane in custody.”
The doctor cleared his throat. “Are you ready for a few tests, Ms. Wade? They won’t take long. Then a nurse will be in to talk about breastfeeding. If this is the route you choose, you’ll have to discard your breast milk for a bit until the anesthesia and painkillers are out of your system.”
“Yes, I want to do that.”
The doctor had me follow his finger, checked my eyes, asked simple questions, and checked my reflexes. More questions about the pain and the limitations I had with my surgeries. “All your diagnostics looked good. If you notice any unusual pain, light-headedness, or difficulty breathing, let a nurse know immediately.”
“Of course.”
The doctor and nurses left. And it was Kurt and me. A few seconds later, the lactation nurse came in with a breast pump. “I hear you want to breastfeed. To get your milk supply going, you’re going to pump each time Dylan eats for the next twenty-four hours. Then we’ll start breastfeeding. Just so you’re aware, it’s going to limit the pain medicine you’re able to take.”
“That’s fine. I’ll manage without it. Thank you.”
Anything for Dylan.
Having the connection to Dylan during breastfeeding was something I desperately wanted. The nurse plugged in the cord. “Here’s his bottle. I’ll give you two a moment before I come back. Any questions?”
“No, thank you,” I said, and the nurse left.
“You ready to hold your son?”
“More than ready.”
Gently, Kurt placed Dylan’s head on my injured side so I could hold the bottle with the other. It still hurt like a son of a bitch. “You okay?”
“I am.” I smiled down at my baby. “Hey there. It looks like your daddy took such good care of you while I was gone. I think I’ll keep him.”
Kurt handed me the bottle, and I held it to Dylan’s mouth. He eagerly sucked it.
“Marry me.”
Gasping, I turned to Kurt, who was watching me intently. “Marry me, Sawyer. I mean it.”
Kurt was scared. I saw the fear in his eyes. Something had happened while I was in surgery. But being motivated by fear wasn’t the way. “Give me a kiss.”
Getting married would rock the carefully crafted boat we were on. It wasn’t something he wanted. I knew it. He knew it. But something had scared him enough to propose. I would find out, but now wasn’t the time. He leaned closer, and I savored having him there with me and Dylan in my arms.
When he pulled back, I smiled. “We can talk about it more when we get home.”
“I’m not going to change my mind.”
Okay, I guess we’re going to discuss this now. “What happened? Please don’t hold back the truth from me.”
Kurt sat in the chair. My arm throbbed a little, but holding the bottle and feeding my son was worth the pain. If I didn’t move too much, my stomach was okay. I checked the ounces; he still had a half ounce left if he wanted it. But first he needed to be burped. I wasn’t going to be able to maneuver him. “Can you help burp him?”
“Anything you need. What do I do?”
“Hold him on up your shoulder and pat his back.”
Kurt took Dylan and put him to his shoulder. The movement was so delicate and loving my heart soared. A little burp came out. “Oh man, that was a good one.” He placed him back in my arms and helped me to get settled again.
