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“I want to try this.”
“This?”
“Us.” He cleared his throat. “I want to try us.”
Cautiously, I asked, “And what does us entail?”
He dragged a hand down his face. “I’d planned to ask you to dance, then on the bus tonight, talk to you about this. That fuck—I mean Jordan—rushed this.”
I laughed. “I wasn’t going to sleep with Jordan. Yes, we have a past. But that’s exactly what it is. The past.”
Some of the tension left Kurt’s eyes. He rolled his neck and wiped his hands on his jeans. Maybe I’d underestimated how nervous he was, so I gave him time to work through it as the car maneuvered through Flagstaff.
“I’ve never had a serious relationship.”
“I know.”
He blew out a breath. “Listen, there’s something about you, about us, that feels right. I want to explore this, I mean us. Shit.”
There was still something off in Kurt’s tone, and in the dim light of the limo, his face was too tense. “Okay. It sounds like there’s going to be a but.”
“But I need to be honest with you. I don’t ever plan on getting married.”
Whoa. Hold the phone. Is he this confused on the dating thing? “Kurt, I don’t need a marriage proposal for us to date.”
“I mean ever. It’s not something I want.”
Never? This was hard to piece together given his delivery. I took a deep breath to sift through the information. “Okay, so what are you saying, Kurt? Relationship versus marriage is a big leap. I mean, you call me back to the club. Kiss me possessively in front of people with cameras. And now you’re letting me know we can’t get married. I’m not pushing. I just don’t understand what you’re offering. Marriage discussions normally don’t come until much later. Knoah and Garrick are not the norm.”
My best friend had married in record time. Even I still had whiplash from how fast it had happened. I’d gone to Colorado to help my mom and went back home to find her engaged.
Kurt blew out a breath and came to sit beside me. He reached up to caress my cheek. “I’m offering…fuck…this is hard.”
“Are you retracting what just happened?”
“No!” Leaning in, he kissed me. It was quick and sweet, as if he needed the touch to ground himself and reassure me. He touched his forehead to mine. “I want you. Want there to be an us.”
It felt like we were talking in circles. “So there’s an us. Why are we discussing marriage now?”
“Because if we last, ten years from now, marriage won’t be on the table. It’s not something I want. And I would never want to mislead you.”
Our noses touched. “Would we be monogamous?”
“Fuck, yes. I won’t share you.”
His possessiveness sent a thrill through me. At that moment, I knew what I wanted. “I don’t want to change you, Kurt. If marriage isn’t on the table, it’s okay.”
“You say that now.”
I leaned in. “I understand that marriage is off the table and will never be an option. What you’re not hearing is that I care about you enough to trust that what we have will find its own way if it’s meant to be.”
The car pulled to a stop in front of the tour bus. Nerves fluttered through me. The first time we slept together, we’d been drinking—a lot. Which turned into not being able to keep our hands off each other for the entire week.
“I do have one question.”
The door opened, and he paused. “What’s that?”
“Will there be lots and lots of makeup sex?”
