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Tentatively, she took my hand, and I led her back to our bedroom. I pulled her onto the bed with me and wrapped my arms around her. She liked it when I held her close at night. And right now, she needed to feel safe. “No one deserves to be treated like that. Accidents happen, baby. You didn’t kill them.”
“Cameron says the same thing. When I was growing up, my parents were basically absent from our lives. At least we had Nan.” The distant sadness in her voice just wasn’t going to do.
I put my finger under her chin to make sure she was looking me in the eye. “It’s true. I’m sorry, but your parents are assholes. What I saw today will not happen again.”
“What?” Her brow wrinkled in confusion. “Kurt, you don’t understand. This could go on for years. But at some point, it’ll pass when they work through it.”
Like hell it was. Sawyer would not endure years of suffering. No way.
Anger bubbled up inside me, but I worked to tamp it down. “I’m serious, Sawyer. They are not going to treat you like that. That was…I won’t allow it.”
She snuggled into me, and her sniffle ripped my fucking heart out. It was killing me to not go over there and give those shitheads a
piece of my mind. How could her mother do this? I had a shitty father. I got shitty fathers. My mom had been sick, but she loved me. They had an amazing daughter who loved unconditionally and had an endless amount of forgiveness. After how badly I’d messed up with her, the fact that she was in my arms right now was proof.
I needed Sawyer’s agreement. “As far as I’m concerned, they aren’t part of our lives unless they get their heads out of their asses.”
With a hand to my chest, Sawyer pulled back and searched my eyes. “What do you think I should do?”
“Block their numbers. If they have something to say, they’ll have to go through Cameron. I’m sure he’s going to be pissed when he hears about what I saw. Or hell, I dare them to contact me.”
She looked down. “Yeah, he will be. Do you mind telling him? I really don’t want to relive it.”
“Yeah, baby, I will.”
For another minute, she was quiet while she considered her options. Then she said, “I’ll block their numbers. And if they do want to talk to me, they can go through Cameron or you.”
That was my strong girl. Picking herself up and moving forward. “I think that’s a good decision.” I thought about my next step. So far, Sawyer seemed open to no secrets between us. When one of us was curious, we asked and figured out a way to find a middle ground. It worked for us. “Is Mattie the reason you don’t want kids?”
“Yeah, she was my world. When she was a baby, I remember helping during the night with her feedings and changings. I loved that little girl. I was only ten, but I cared for her. I was there when she took her first steps. When she was sick, I took care of her.” She stopped to pull herself together, and I fell harder for this woman and her strength.
I got off the bed and held out my hand. “I get it. I really do. I want to show you something.”
“What is it?” she asked as she came to me.
“Close your eyes.”
Without hesitation, she closed them and put her hand out. Trust. She gave me all her trust without asking for anything in return. And I would be the partner she deserved.
I let her out into the hallway and was amazed to find Waldo had been able to pull it off so fast. He’d been stealthy in the setup. “Wait here.”
I grabbed the single calla lily from the table and walked back over. “Open your eyes.”
Sawyer opened them and saw the table set with her favorite pizza and a tub of ice cream. “You mean a lot to me, Sawyer. More than I can openly admit right now. It scares the shit out of me, but you’re worth it. You’re worth everything and more than I could ever give you.”
She turned to me, her eyes filled with happiness. Mentally, I sighed with relief. This romantic shit was tough. I cleared my throat and handed her the calla lily. I was about to jump off into pansy-ass land, but she needed to know how special she was to me. I cleared my throat again, nervous as hell. Hell, I could write songs without any issues, but talking about my feelings was fucking hard.
“The calla lily symbolizes magnificence and beauty. My mom always had them on the table when she was having a rough time to remind her of what the world had to offer. Though as individuals we’re flawed and have a past, I think together we can tempt perfection to happen for us.”
Without another word, she threw her arms around me. “Thank you. You deserve this, too.”
For once, I believed Sawyer might be right.
* * *
After dinner, Sawyer was wiped. I wanted to bury myself balls deep in her, but she needed sleep after the long, emotional day. Son of a bitch, I wanted to beat her father within an inch of his life. His dead eyes reminded me of my father. Fucking waste of space.
I slipped out of bed, threw on my pants, and grabbed George from his dog bed. For good measure, I snagged one of his balls, too. “Let’s go out one more time, buddy.”
