Eventually, some of Society did follow Alaina’s example, setting aside their inane delicate sensibilities and, once more, calling upon and extending invitations to Juliette and her husband. It wasn’t a perfect recovery, but it was a far better result than it could have been. Alaina supposed this was an advantage to being a duchess—if one couldn’t use her position to help others, what was the point?
Juliette and her husband had recently moved from the rooms above his medical practice and handed over the space to Ian’s new protégé—a young Italian who had proven to be quick-minded and vastly talented. And now Juliette had her own space where she and Alaina could meet outside the uncomfortable shadow of Alaina’s awkward marriage.
Juliette tilted her dark head, letting Alaina know she was still awaiting a response. Alaina tried to look anywhere—the walls repapered in tasteful shades of blue stripes, the fresh ivory curtains, the well-made reclining sofa and spindle-legged table inlaid with alternating patterns of cherry and mahogany, a loose black glass bead dangling from the design on the skirt of her dress—anything to delay providing an answer to the question.
She sighed in resignation.
Sterling’s face materialized in her mind. He’d always been undeniably attractive to her—that and his kind personality had been the reasons she’d accepted his courtship in the first place. Her mother could overlook all of those for the dukedom, but even back then, Alaina had silently hoped for more…and she had thought she’d found it in the young Duke of Morton.
Fool child that she had been.
As handsome as Sterling once was, time had found a way to mature him into something more. His hazel eyes smoldered when he was upset, his straight, well-formed nose suited his strong features and the expressive set of his mouth possessed the possibility to be charming…when he wasn’t frustrated with her, of course. When he had steadied her that morning after their minor collision, his solid strength called to an afore-unknown primal part of her (much as she tried to deny it). Her better judgment chimed in to remind her that this was the man who had abandoned her…left her to shed her tears in lonely silence. She’d once cared for him, but his abrupt flight from their home following the marriage ceremony was surely proof that he hadn’t taken their contract and his responsibilities too seriously. It mattered not that she (still) found him objectively attractive—there were any number of attractive men of theton, many of whom vied for her attention when she attended events—he was unequivocally a cad of the highest order.
Her friend, however, had seen Sterling at the prior day’s disastrous Reading Society meeting; Juliette would see right through any petty denial Alaina might attempt. Juliette was no fool. They’d known one another for many years at that point, had seen each other at least once each week, and worked together to organize various events and fundraising. If anyone was going to be able to sense Alaina was lying, Juliette was one of those people. It would only be fair, though, because Alaina had certainly done her fair share of meddling in Juliette’s love life. Normally, she quite liked the thought that Ian and Juliette might never have been able to find one another were it not for Alaina’s bold assistance, but she didn’t particularly care for the roles to be reversed. Perhaps she should have considered that earlier…
“I suppose,” Alaina began cautiously before gaining more speed; “when he isn’t doing his best to drive my sanity into the ground.”
Juliette chuckled. “It isn’t the least bit…enjoyablehaving him home?” Her dark brows rose suggestively.
Alaina wasn’t dim; she could see where this conversation was headed, and she hadn’t the slightest desire to discuss that aspect. She was too determined to continue clutching her animosity like a shield to examine Sterling’s shocking tenderness the night before.
And whether or not she’d welcome it again.
“The man has been on English soil less than twenty-four hours, and he’s already interrupted a meeting of my Reading Society, ran me out of supper, and interrogated me before allowing me to leave the house this morning. If this is any indication of things to come, then my life has been forever changed and I care not for it one bit.” What Alaina wouldn’t give for something stronger than tea… How unfair that men should be allowed to imbibe spirits from well-appointed sideboards while women were relegated to nothing stronger than watered-down wine on rare occasions. Woe be to the woman who took alcohol as a man would, regardless of the circumstances.
And Alaina felt rather strongly that these were, indeed, mitigating circumstances.
“What harm could there be in giving him another chance?” Juliette tilted her head and held her hands up in supplication. “You are still married, regardless.”
“As he gave our marriage a chance when he fled like a man outrunning his execution?” Alaina scoffed despite Juliette’s perfectly rational comment. “Right. I’ll begin the reconciliation immediately…” She narrowed her eyes, adding, “And whose side are you on?”
Juliette smiled and shook her head. “You have been my friend for more than a decade, Alaina; there is no side other than yours, as far as I am concerned. I’m simply…playing advocate to the devil. Trying could make your marriage more palatable. You’re living together and forced into each other’s presence, after all.”
“You sound like the duke,” Alaina groaned with a roll of her eyes, though more good-naturedly than not. “How can we possibly expect to get along when he has yet to explain why he left?”
Juliette’s shoulders lifted in a gentle shrug. “Part of marriage is working through those difficult questions; learning about one another. To practice being honest and open.”
Alaina heaved a heavy sigh. Juliette had been married for such a short while and she already knew vastly more about the matrimonial state than Alaina…who had been married for eight years… Undoubtedly, it came both from being confident in one’s state and—perhaps more so—actually living closely enough with one’s spouse to know him.
“I am not a woman who can simply forget the fact that he abandoned me and partook in any number of debauched activities on the Continent.” Alaina’s cheeks warmed and she averted her eyes from Juliette’s sympathetic gaze. They’d both read the same tabloids, heard the same rumors. If thetonenjoyed anything, it was a naughty scandal. Tales of the Runaway Duke who’d fled his new bride to live a life of freedom and vices fit that bill to perfection; and each time a rumor was presented to her with exaggerated sympathy, it pierced Alaina’s heart like a pin in a cushion.
Every member of thetonand their servants were privy to the rumors of the decadent, lush lifestyle Sterling had enjoyed while on the Continent; the salacious whispers of his many torrid love affairs with exotic, beautiful women. Alaina had always refused to discuss those rumors with anyone—or even acknowledge them openly until that very moment alone with Juliette. Now that Sterling was home, she was forced to face the embarrassment of the gossip and come to terms with the fact that, while he hadn’t seen fit to share her bed, he had so obviously found solace and satisfaction in the arms of many other women. It was beyond mortifying.
“I am not built that way,” she finally added.
“Do not feel sorry for yourself,” Juliette demanded as she rose and moved around the table to sit beside Alaina and take her hand. “This isn’t the hellion I know.” In spite of herself, Alaina cracked a smile at the moniker she’d been given by one of the popular tabloids following a scene at a ball wherein she’d publicly and bluntly chastised the hostess after the woman had slapped a maid for dropping a glass. Alaina had been accused of “inciting a scandal” when no less than two dozen guests had followed her example and immediately quit the event. She didn’t think “hellion” was necessarily an apt title for her, but she’d come to enjoy ruffling feathers and shows of social justice, and if that was how she was viewed, then so be it. “If you won’t forgive him, and you’re so determined not to allow him to live this down, what will you do about it?”
Alaina’s despondent mind perked at that.
Whatwouldshe do about it?
Her mind instantly reeled with the possibilities. There were few things sweeter to her than someone receiving their comeuppance, and all the ways this might be served to her husband nearly made her giddy. She’d been made to weather embarrassment alone for all these years and she felt it was well past time Sterling had a taste of it.
She wouldn’t attempt to divorce him (for a multitude of reasons she’d already spun round and round in her skull many times over the years) and she refused to be the one to tuck tail and run to live elsewhere now that he’d once more taken up residence in Morton House. It was her home.
Sure, he’d been the one to grow up there, but it had been the only home she’d ever known as a married woman. She’d traveled outside of London several times for respites in their country seat at the end of the Season, but, as far as Alaina was concerned, Morton House was the touchstone of her life as she knew it. To leave it was unthinkable, even if so many other married couples of thetonled relatively separate lives…sometimes in entirely different spaces.
No.
