He’d left behind a slightly gangly filly all those years ago, and now a true woman stood before him. Self-assured. Womanly curves in all the right places—all the places he most enjoyed. And the passion, the rage in her eyes…it was enough to set his pulse to simmering.
If he’d known his wife was going to develop into such a stunning beauty, would he have pushed harder to come home? Would he have fought to throw off the weight of his obligations and leave the Continent behind in favor of this woman’s arms? His heart knew the truth of it, though: He’d never forgotten her and regretted their separation, and he’d make sure she believed him if it was the last thing he did.
“The chances of being received with a kiss are nonexistent when one’s husband abandons her within twelve hours of the vows,” Alaina snapped bitingly.
A return trip to the Continent is growing more appealing by the second…Sterling grumbled inwardly.
“It is a pleasure to see you, too, Alaina,” he replied, his voice dripping globs of sarcasm.
“May I ask why you’ve suddenly decided to bless us with your presence, Your Grace?” she returned with equal venom, addressing him with scorn rather than the usual reverence with which he was spoken to. Sterling supposed he did deserve that.
“I thought it was time to return.”
“That moment passed years ago,” Alaina spat, her eyes consumed with blue flame. “It is long dead and buried.”
He realized his once acquiescent wife had developed a flair for the dramatic…though she was probably correct at the heart of it if he viewed their situation objectively.
He’d done innumerable regrettable things these past several years, but none more painful than ducking out of Morton House when he knew she’d been waiting for him in her chambers, likely nervous and shaking in anticipation of their wedding night. Alaina had been a sweet girl and he had genuinely cared for her; she hadn’t deserved to be abandoned like that, but it simply could not have been helped. He’d spent year after year considering how he could have handled it all differently—if trying to speak with her before he took his leave might have made a difference—but to gamble with the possibility of her patience and understanding after he’d already convinced her to give him her trust and her future wasn’t something he had been prepared to face. For better or for worse, his younger mind had been made up and now it was time to face the consequences of his rashness.
Home once more, Sterling could only hope his decisions hadn’t destroyed their marriage beyond repair. Gazing down at Alaina just then made him wonder if that selfish hope wasn’t completely in vain.
They were stuck together, after all. He agreed with the belief that marriage wasn’t intended to be fickle or temporary, contrary to what his past actions may have indicated. A good place to start would be an apology…so he may as well give it a go.
He’d had weeks to consider what he might say—how this return might be received. Thus far, it had been quite the disaster. Not only had there been an audience to his homecoming, but it was evident that his wife held more rancor in her soul for him than he’d anticipated. He was making quite the hash of things, and, if he had any hope of righting his wrongs, he needed to put in more of an effort.
“Alaina…” He softened his tone and hoped his eyes would convey the sincerity he harbored in his soul; “I realize this is long overdue. And I understand how my unannounced return is likely quite the shock. But please believe me when I say I am sorry for leaving—”
“Abandoning,” she corrected him in a clipped tone.
He nodded once in concession.
“Forabandoningyou on our wedding night—”
“And for the eight years following,” she interrupted once more.
Sterling had to take a slow, bracing breath through his nose.
“Yes,” he ground out. “And the eight years after.” His words were genuine, but he wasn’t a man used to apologizing…let alone being handheld to it like a child.
“Without an explanation,” she added with narrowed eyes.
“Enough!” It was Sterling’s turn to snap, and Alaina’s lips formed a tight, unhappy line in response. He heaved a breath and resumed more gently. “I am sincerely sorry, Alaina. What I did was the worst sort of rotten…but did you ever stop to think that I might have had a reason?” This last seemed to set her off anew, the tension snapping through her body and charging the air.
“Did you find me repugnant?” she demanded. “Did the thought of bedding me make you ill?”
Sterling shook his head vehemently, taken aback by her bald words. To say he had always been attracted to his English rose of a wife was an understatement; for her to have assumed otherwise made a place deep within his chest ache.
“Certainly not!” he said, staunchly denying her accusations. If only she knew how he’d felt the first time they’d been introduced, how he’d been taken in by her striking eyes and broad smile, how her sharp wit and easy laughter had captivated him from the very beginning, then she’d not have questioned him. If she knew how often he’d pleasured himself to the memory of her lips and taste, imagining what it might have been like to share more with her, then that certainly would not have been the case.
“Then…were you…unable to perform?” Alaina shot a pointed look to the area below his waistcoat.
If her earlier question had caught him off guard, this one shocked him. His cheeks heated even though he was well past the age of being embarrassed.
And where did his wife get off making such a crude comment?
What sort of company had she been keeping where she was aware of such things?
“Of course not!” he spluttered, unaccustomed to being made to feel even somewhat flustered. By anyone. One of the perks of being a duke, he supposed.
