"I'm actually really excited to hear you sing later," he says. "It was like four years ago when I heard you sing for literally five minutes, and you were amazing."
I grin. "Oh yeah? You heard me for five minutes. Remember that time you went upstairs with that girl Sarah while I sang my heart out?" I tease.
Carter's cheeks flush, and he laughs awkwardly. "Yeah...definitely not my best move. But honestly? That night kind of confirmed it for me, that I’m full-blown gay."
He pauses for a second, then continues, half-laughing at himself. "Like, I was in bed with her. Tits out, everything out. Her mouth was literally on my dick, and still…nothing. Limp. I was lying there thinking, 'Yup, this isn't it.' That was the moment I knew for sure. Gay as fuck."
Seeing how happy Carter looks when he tells me about his gay awakening makes me so happy inside. I have never felt embarrassed about my sexuality. Maybe it is because I don't have a million friends, or perhaps it's because I don't even know what my sexuality is entirely. Either way, I am extremely happy for Carter.
“Wow, I’m sorry you had to go through that," I say, smirking. "But also…I don’t really feel bad for you. Maybe you just picked the wrong person to go upstairs with."
I lean in slightly. "I mean, to be honest, that kiss on the hammock? Hot as fuck. If you had asked me to go upstairs, I might’ve actually said yes." I pause for a beat and giggle. "I don’t usually get that kind of feeling or want to fool around with someone right away. But hey…you snooze, you lose."
“Well, we’re still young,” Carter says with a wink. “You never know; maybe it’ll happen again someday.”
My face flushes instantly, and I open my mouth to say something back, but before I can, I catch Mel shooting me a look from across the room. She’s clearly frustrated and needs help with the damn sound system.
We're supposed to perform in about fifteen minutes, so I should probably get up there and test the mic and my guitar.
"Well, this conversation definitely isn't over," I say, giving him a teasing look. "But I've got some responsibilities, like, you know, performing in front of a crowd that may or may not listen."
I start walking toward the stage and glance back over my shoulder. “I hope you like it. And please, do your part; eitherpump up the crowd or, if everyone’s staring at us in horror, at least pretend we sound amazing.”
I flash him a grin and turn away before he can see me blush again. As I walk toward the stage, I know I should be running through the lyrics in my head, but all I can think about is how lighthearted Carter is and how easy it feels to be around him.
I don't expect anything to happen between us, not really. But still, it'd be nice to find a real friend in him.
Carter
Ican't stop smiling as I watch Nate set up. It looks like they're about to start. There must be a hundred people crammed into this bar, and somehow, around thirty-five dogs of all shapes and sizes roaming around or being held. I honestly can't believe any bar would allow that many dogs inside. Like, what if they just shit all over the floor? I wonder if the bar is doing this as a good deed or if they owe someone a favor; either way, it's extremely sweet.
Nate's standing just behind Mel, both of them with guitars in hand. Not many people are paying attention yet, which might actually be a blessing, especially for Nate. When we talked earlier, he didn't seem that nervous, but I could sense some nerves were lingering in his head. Mel, on the other hand, looks completely at ease. I can't help but be jealous of how chill she seems.
They start singing "Same Old Love," and I notice a few people shifting their focus, with less attention on the dogs and more on the stage. People are beginning to sway, some half-dancing while still playing with their pups. Honestly, I don't even think I need to pump up the crowd right now. Mel's great, but my focus is entirely on Nate. The way his hips are moving with the music is making my dick start to motion upward.
He's wearing this tight white shirt that perfectly outlines his biceps and even his abs. He just looks so good. I feel like I'm practically drooling, and honestly? I don't even care if anyone notices. That's new for me. I don't know what it is with this guy. It's like no time has passed, and I'm back to where I was four years ago. All I want is to jump on him and rip his clothes off. I'm not even thinking about sex, not entirely. I just want to touch him: squeeze his ass, kiss him, cuddle him. It's wild.
Paul walks up beside me, catching me completely zoning out. He gives me this sideways look and says, "Well, look at you, all invested. You've just met these people, and you're already their number one fan. Isn't that Nate guy cute? I wonder if he'd be into me."
I grin, still feeling dazed by my Nate fantasy. "I mean…you should go try," I say casually.
But Paul’s studying me now. I can tell he’s picking up on something. He squints a little, trying to read me. “You’re not telling me everything,” he says. “The way you’re looking at Mel? I don’t get it. You don’t know her. So it must be the guy…Nate. You two have met before, haven’t you?”
I start to smile uncontrollably. My face heats up, and I can feel the blush spreading across my cheeks. I lean a little closer and whisper, "You really can't tell anyone, okay? But…he was the first guy I ever kissed. He might even be the only person I've enjoyed kissing, as depressing as that sounds. "
Paul blinks, clearly expecting more details.
"I know this is random, and maybe I sound batshit, but I haven't seen him in four years. And still, I feel there's something about him. He's one of the only people I've ever felt this kind ofinstant connection with. I'm not even sure if it's just physical. I don't feel this way with people, which is why I don't get laid," I say. “Help Me!” I joke. “This is a new feeling for me. I feel this connection with him. What do I do now? You seem to have experience with this kind of shit.”
Paul looks at me with this half-shocked, half-not-surprised expression. “I knew you two knew each other,” he says, lowering his voice. “You were talking like you’ve been best friends for years. So what’s the deal? If you’re into this guy, why not go make a move? Or are you just too scared to say something? I mean, I know you’re not out to the public, but that doesn’t mean you can’t just chill. People might just think you’re brothers or cousins.”
I let out a subtle laugh, trying not to blush again. “Trust me, I am actually planning to ask if he wants to hang out after the set. No offense, but if you and Mel could make yourselves disappear, that would be great.” I jokingly blurt out, “k bye, Thanks!”
“Well, excuse me, sir. I’ll just get out of your way now.” Paul teases.
"I just…I want to talk to Nate, maybe really talk. Get to know him. Maybe even see him next weekend before my first preseason game."
Paul lets out a little grunt and smirks. "Fine. I'll actually get out of your way. I'll take the guitars back to Mel's place, and we'll disappear. But seriously, you better take advantage of that ass. I mean, his face is cute, and those glasses? Come on, but that ass. God, the things I'd do to it…I won't even say."
