What just happened!? I literally came outside for some fresh air, and I ended up kissing a dude for the first time and disappearing from the party for thirty minutes. As I watch Nate walk away, I can't help but stare at his peach-shaped ass and wonder what it's like without clothes. Why am I so horny, and what can I even do about this?
I could jerk off in Greg or Marcus's room...or I could try hooking up with a girl.
The question is: do I even want to risk the limp noodle-making another appearance?
As I walk back inside, I hear this magical voice coming from the front of the living room. It's Nate, with a muscular frame, dirty-blond hair, and those adorable light brown eyes. He's singing "Shape of You," and he sounds incredible. His voice is so soothing, and I find myself unable to stop moving my body. I'm literally dancing alone when Becky runs up to me, practically freaking out.
"Where have you been?! I want to introduce you to this guy, Michael. Isn't he so hot?" Becky announces with excitement.
"Oh, he's just so cute. We should all go upstairs for a little fun," I snort.
Becky knows I'm kidding, but does Mike? I doubt it. He looks at me, clearly confused, but introduces himself anyway.
Becky turns toward the front of the living room, and her eyes widen.
She blurts out, "Oh, who is that, and how can I get him upstairs, and why is he singing?"
I giggle and quip back, "I actually met him outside. His name's Nate, and he seems really nice. I haven't seen him around before tonight. I don't think Mike will approve of Nate joining, Becky! As for the singing, I have no idea. Maybe the football guys thought it would be funny or something. Poor Nate."
Part of me wants to tell Becky about the kiss with Nate, but I don’t. That’s a conversation for later after I figure out my shit. Right now, I’ve got a different problem to solve.
I’m honestly horny enough and probably drunk enough that I might be able to get it up for one of the random party girls. My eyes scan the room and land on Sarah, who I’ve fooled around with before. She’s always been patient when we’ve tried to have sex, which might come in handy.
I walk over to her and whisper in her ear, "Hey, want to head upstairs? I'm sure Greg won't mind us using his room for some fun." Sarah looks at me and winks, pulling me upstairs by the hand.
In the corner of my eye, I catch Nate still singing, but he's staring at me. There's a slight movement in his smile that seems to slip into a faint frown.
I don’t have time to question it. I don’t have time to overanalyze my thoughts about Nate. If I want a future in theNFL, being with a man isn’t an option. I tear my gaze away and continue upstairs with Sarah, hoping things heat up from here.
Nate
Present Day - July 2018
Who knew moving all your belongings across state lines with only your brother and yourself would be so difficult? It's not like I have a lot of prized possessions other than my guitar and my MacBook. I took Evan's advice and rented a U-Haul for the day, but I didn't take into account how heavy a bed and couch would be. If only I hired movers to help with this move. I mean, it doesn't help that I'm extremely broke and living paycheck to paycheck. It's a bit hard making the big bucks and finding a steady income when you're an event singer who only really plays weddings and small charity events.
If I were smart, I would’ve followed my brother’s career path and become an insurance underwriter. Who would want that boring life, though?
Evan and I pull into my new two-bedroom apartment in Newark, New Jersey. I was initially devastated to leave my hometown of Philadelphia, but I know this is the rightmove for me. After graduating from college with a degree in communications, I moved back home to save money. Living at home had its ups and downs. Evan and I had to share a bedroom, which was absurd considering we're grown men.
The only other people living in our three-bedroom house were my father, Frederick, and his wife, Jamie. One stipulation for living at home was that we couldn't complain about their keeping the third bedroom as an office. I obviously wasn't going to say anything; I had no money and no choice but to live at home.
Living at home wasn't a total bust. I ended up meeting my first girlfriend, Monica, who lived alone in the neighboring apartment. Monica was about 5 '5", with long brown hair and brown eyes, and absolutely beautiful. She was almost as pale as I am, but at least she could tan in the summer. As for me, I just get extremely red, which turns my skin into burnt crisps.
I essentially lived with Monica throughout 2016, only visiting my father's house occasionally. Evan obviously became best friends with Monica, which was great since he's also my best friend.
2016 was all about knocking back vodka sodas, playing Mario Kart, hitting up the only bar in town, and watching movies. Some may call us losers, but we were anything but.
Everything changed when Monica took a job in New Orleans as an entry-level reporter. Asking me to go with her was a given, considering how good our relationship was. Finding someone I connect with both physically and emotionally is extremely hard for me. Knowing how rare that feeling is made me question whether staying in Philly was the right move.
My goal in life was always to open a coffee shop or to make it big in the music industry. I don't want to be a pop star or anything; I'm more interested in being an independent artistfocused on alternative rock or pop. With that, I knew Monica had to go, and I had to stay.
By 2017, I was finally planning to move to New York City and start looking for opportunities to sing at weddings and events. You've got to start somewhere, right?
Interestingly, I was at a nearby coffee shop, looking for affordable apartments in nearby areas of NYC, when I got up to grab my coffee and bumped into a cute guy. I was extremely quiet and awkward, so I happily returned to my table, avoiding further interaction. But the slender, charming man surprised me by boldly sitting down at my table. He was a bit shorter than me, maybe 5’8 and extremely tan. His turquoise eyes were beautiful; I couldn't look away. I had a faint attraction to his boldness, which is probably the only reason I even entertained the conversation.
His name was Daniel, and we dated for a year and a half. Daniel was a great guy when he wasn't drinking. He was clearly great enough for me to stay in Philly and put off my dreams until I figured out what we were to each other. Like I've always said, liking people doesn't come easy to me.
One of my most significant flaws is prioritizing the wants of others over my own. Over time, Daniel became more and more focused on partying and drugs. Not the fun drugs like weed or ecstasy; he was into cocaine and acid. I guess all drugs are technically bad, but I let a few slide on the imaginary "harmful drug scale" I made up.
