CHAPTERTEN
I don’t need to tell anyone that I’m having a drinkwith Ryan in my local pub. Not that it should matter. It’s all very innocent,after all, and I’ve made it perfectly clear to him that it’s just going to be aone-off drink with an old friend.
Carrie doesn’t need to know.
*****
Ryan is just the same as ever: rugby player physique,thatch of blond hair and a hint of mischief in his ready smile. I watch himcharming the girl behind the bar as he buys our drinks, confident of hersmiling response, and I find myself shaking my head and thinking,Nothing’schanged!
When we first met, I was drawn instantly to Ryan’s looks andhis smile. But it was his easy way with people and his sense of humour thathooked me in and kept me mesmerised for the best part of two years. He workedas a telecoms engineer and he played sport every weekend, so I got used tocoming second to his big loves: football, rugby and golf. I didn’t mind. Iloved Ryan and it’s good to have separate interests as a couple, isn’t it?
What Ididmind, though, was Ryan’s wandering eye.When we were out, I could see him scoping out the room, automatically clockingthe attractive women, and it made me cross sometimes. Other times, it felt goodthat this gorgeous, popular guy with his wicked sense of humour might becharming the birds out of the trees, but his arm was aroundme.I knewhe loved me because he told me all the time that he’d never met anyone like me.So most of the time, I was able to shrug off his flirtatious nature as totallyharmless and just a part of who he was.
Now, seeing him again, it’s all flooding back...the way his flirting with other people used to gnaw away at my self-confidence,however much I told myself it didn’t mean anything.
But later, when we’re sitting talking over our drinks, heseems different somehow... not as confident or as sure ofhimself as he used to be and he seemed willing to talk about emotional stuff. Ialso noticed there were no glances around the room at persons of potentialinterest. He was just focused one hundred per cent on me and our conversation.
What had happened to the super-self-assured Ryan I used toknow?
I’d heard through the grapevine that he’d been maderedundant, which had really shaken him up. Finding himself unemployed formonths on end, he’d been forced to sell his house to meet his financialcommitments and was now renting a small flat in Sunnybrook. As we talked, hetold me he’d recently started a new job and was enjoying the work, but the linesaround his eyes and the beginnings of a slight paunch attested to the fact thatlife had been far from smooth-sailing lately.
I found myself warming to this new, vulnerable Ryan. And Icould see truth in his eyes when he said he’d missed me more than he ever thoughthe would. I told him it was the same for me, and he took my hand and weexchanged a rather sad and wistful look as we thought about what could havebeen...
‘Another drink?’ he asks, as I’m draining my second glass ofwine.
‘I’ll get them,’ I say, standing up. Ryan bought the firsttwo rounds so it’s definitely my turn. But he catches my hand.
‘No, I will.’ He gets up. ‘I’d imagine your rental bill is fairlysteep now that Carrie’s moved out?’
‘Well, yes... but...’
‘It was my suggestion that we meet up tonight, so let metreat you.’
I smile at him. Ryan was always really generous. Not justwith me, but with everyone. That’s one of the things I loved about him.
Seeing my hesitation, he frowns. ‘What is it?’
Carrie’s warning is in my ear, but I’m feeling bad for nottelling Ryan the truth... that I can well afford to pay for around of drinks these days.
He laughs, still holding onto my hand. ‘What, Krystle? Whatis it?’
I swallow. ‘Well...the thing is...the rent’s no problem now because Carrie won the lottery and she shared thewinnings with me.’
His face is a picture... shock, followedby disbelief, as if he thinks I’m having him on. And then it sinks in that I’mbeing serious and his eyes widen in amazement.
‘Hang on, Carrie won the lottery? I’ve never knownanyonewho won the lottery. Well, apart from the odd tenner here and there. But Isuppose it wasn’t just the odd tenner...?’
‘Two million plus.’
‘Oh, my God! And she gave you half?’
I nod, smiling, suddenly noticing that we’ve attracted theattention of a group of guys sitting on the next table. They’ve clearly tunedin after hearing the magical phrase,won the lottery!
‘Wow.’ Ryan shakes his head in wonder. A text pings throughfor him but he ignores it. ‘That’s some sister you have there!’
‘I know. I didn’t really want to take it.’ I lower my voiceto foil the eavesdroppers nearby. ‘Well, I did. Obviously. But it didn’t seemright.’
‘But she insisted?’
