I smile. ‘Well, none of that matters now because he’s backand I can’t thank you enough. Lunch is on me.’
‘No need for that.’
‘There’s every need... honestly. Hey, waita minute.’ I whip round, after seeing a hugely pregnant woman walking along bythe side of the road. ‘Isn’t that Fen?’
‘Fen?’
‘Yes. She’s on maternity leave from the café and she’s dueto give birth soon. What on earth’s she doing, walking along in the middle ofnowhere? Can we turn around?’
Liam is already slowing down beside a farm gate, looking inhis rear-view mirror, preparing to do a three-point turn. Travelling back, wedraw level with a red-faced and clearly struggling Fen, and Liam parks on themercifully wide grass verge and I hop out to see if she’s okay.
‘Lottie?’ She gazes at me in happy relief to see a familiarface. ‘Thank goodness. I thought I was going to have to start flagging carsdown.’
‘What happened? Come on, take a breath by the gate.’ I guideher over and she leans gratefully against it as her breathing calms.
‘I can’t believe I was so stupid. I’m just days from my duedate and I’m determined to have a natural birth, but if the babies don’t hurryup, the hospital are going to induce me! So I decided to walk into Sunnybrookto buy some dates.’
‘Dates?’ I ask, puzzled.
‘Yes. Dates are supposed to hurry the birth process along,but we didn’t have any in the house and my car’s in the garage for a serviceand Rob’s away delivering a dining table and chairs, so I decided to walkbecause apparently that’s another good way to get things moving.’
She says all this in a rush and ends up gasping for air andthen bending over, her face wreathed with agony and letting out a long anddesperate groan, sounding alarmingly like an animal in trouble.
‘Hey, it’s fine,’ I murmur, trying to stay calm. ‘We’ve gotyou now. So the contractions have started?’
She nods, looking absolutely terrified. ‘They started thismorning but I assumed they were those Braxton Hicks false alarm pains becausethey didn’t feel like the real thing.’ She shakes her head in embarrassment. ‘Imean, I’ve never actuallybeenpregnant before so how would I even knowwhat “the real thing” is like! So I’d been walking for five minutes or so whenthey started getting really bad – and now, they’ve started coming faster, oneafter the other, and they’re excruciating,’ she wails. ‘I think the twins mustbe in a storming hurry to get here!’
‘Oh, poor you. Come on. Let’s get you in the car.’
‘Honestly, Lottie, I’ve never felt pain like it. I mean, Iknow people warn you that it’s bad, but I suppose I always thought I’d be ableto cope. But this... this is like when you have the runs orreally bad trapped wind, times by amillion!’
I push her hair back gently from her sweaty brow as Imanoeuvre her over to the car, where Liam is holding the door open. ‘Have youphoned Rob?’
‘Yes. He’s on his way back. About fifteen minutes away, hesaid. I told him not to break the speed limit but he just said, “Bugger that”and the phone went dead.’
Another contraction starts at that moment, so I have to holdher hand and help her through it, doing the swift breathing I’ve seen them doon the telly, before she can think about getting herself into the back seat.
‘Okay back there?’ asks Liam, starting the car.
‘Fine, thank you,’ calls a weak little voice as I jump innext to her.
‘Okay. Next stop the hospital,’ he says as we move off.
‘Can you get my phone out of my bag so I can call Rob?’ Fenasks me.
‘Of course.’ I rummage around in the bag and hand her thephone. But when she rings him, Rob must be concentrating on the drive becauseshe has to leave a message. ‘Rob? I’m on my way to the hospital, so can youmeet me there? Obviously the home water-birth is totally out of the window. Andif the contraction pains continue like this, I swear I’m going to be demandingevery kind of pain relief on offer and more besides!’
*****
At the hospital, Liam practically abandons the car in themiddle of the road and leaps out to alert a medic, who brings a wheelchair. Weget Fen into it and she squeezes my hand hard and mutters very firmly, ‘Liamseems nice but I’d advise you to thinkvery hardbefore you do anythingthat might land you inthisposition!’
I chuckle to myself, feeling glad that Liam is well out ofearshot and moving the car into a safer spot. ‘I’ll bear that in mind,’ I tellFen solemnly, because I really don’t think she was joking.
Rob must indeed have driven like the wind because he arrivesa moment later, as I’m going into the hospital with Fen. She bursts into tearswhen she sees him and demands to know why he took so long. And I grin at Roband wish them luck, and leave them to their illogical,in-the-throes-of-giving-birth ‘conversations’.
Outside, Liam is leaning against the car, arms folded,having observed the whole scenario of Rob arriving. He straightens up as I joinhim. ‘Just as well we were passing.’
‘It definitely was. Fen might have given birth at theroadside otherwise.’ I shudder at the thought. ‘Still fancy lunch?’
