His tone melts all my tension away.
"Aspen," I say softly. "I’m, uh, good. I got home last night... around seven," I tell him.
"That’s great. I’m glad you made it back safe," he says.
“I did, thank you.” Now for the elephant in the room.
“Were you ever going to tell me when you were leaving?” He asks.
I swallow hard.
“No,” I admit, the words hit harder than I expected—they sting.
“Oh,” is all he says. I can hear it—he’s at a loss for words.
"Look Aspen, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you hanging like that. It’s just… we’re not ever going to see each other again, and I thought it would be easier to just leave things the way they were," I say being as honest as I can.
I hear him take a deep breath through the phone.
"I get it," he replies. "Can we at least still be friends? I really enjoy talking to you and don’t want to lose the connection we have."
My heart swells. Of course, Aspen would want to be friends. I guess that’s the best I can offer too.
“Yeah,” I say, clearing my throat, “we can be friends.”
Now, how the hell am I supposed to be friends with Aspen when all I can think about isfuckinghim?
This is going to be harder than I thought.
20
Aspen
Friends? Friends with Genevieve Brown?
I’m not sure I can handle that, but when I thought I might lose her, that was the first thing that came to mind. I want her in any way I can have her, even if she can’t be mine.
I said it without thinking—just to keep her close, but now it’s hitting me. I don’t want to be her friend. I want to be her everything.
I lie in bed, staring at the stars on my ceiling, admiring their new shape, wondering what the hell I’m going to do. After I hung up with Genevieve, I took down all the stars from my ceiling and rearranged them into new constellations. I now have the most important one on display, Cassiopeia.
This way whenever I look up at my ceiling, I can think of Genevieve.
Ugh, Genevieve.
I stayed up way too late moving them around, like it’d somehow make her feel closer.
I can’t believe I’ve been friendzoned, and the worst part was I did it myself. That’s the last place I want to be.
I could always ask her to come back. Maybe she would, if I told her Ihaveto see her. Which is true, I do have to see her. I can’t let this woman slip through my fingers just like that.
What if she’s the one?
I know she’s in school, so maybe we could plan for her to come back during her next break. But then again, I can’t leave. First, I don’t have the money. Second, I’ve got work and training to do.
I have a good feeling about her—something I’ve never felt for any other girl. The realization hits me hard, and without thinking I leap out of bed scrambling to find my journal filled with poetry. Inspiration has struck again and I have to get the words down before they slip away.
Genevieve, You have a beauty so luscious. So rare. When you smile, your inner beauty flows out. It escapes through your smile. And you can’t help it. It’s remarkable really. Outstanding. That someone with such beauty. Can be more beautiful in than out.
