“Gen, I’d rather not owe you my firstborn. Thanks, but no thanks.” She hands me back the coat.
“Lana, put the coat on,” I say grabbing it from her, taking it off the hanger, and holding it up so she can put her arms through. She obliges, but I know it’s killing her. She feels bad, but also wants to wear it. Once it’s on, it’s just as I predicted: she looks fabulous.
“What do you think?” I ask while she’s facing the mirror.
I stand behind her, able to see directly over her because I’m that much taller.
“It’s beautiful but I can’t, Gen,” she says, trying to take the coat off. I place my hands on her shoulders to stop her.
“Lana, I will not take no for an answer. You will wear this, along with whatever else you want. No matter the price,” I tell her. She nods in hesitated agreement. I knew she would give in.
I always get my way.
***
Today is the day! Lana and I are up around 7:30 this morning and we are out the door by eight. We both slept in our heatless curls so getting ready fast was no issue.
Around midnight last night, I placed our Starbucks orders to be ready for us today– this way we didn’t have to wait in line or anything. I ran in the union and picked up our drinks– mango dragon fruit and strawberry acai refreshers. I can not have coffee while on a road trip. Not that I even like the taste, but if I did, we’d have to stop every thirty minutes if I did, and at that rate we’d never make it to Colorado.
I love a good refresher anyway and so does Lana. She’s the strawberry acai to my mango dragon fruit.
Lana and I have been on the road for over three hours now. We are more than halfway there! The drive through Nebraska is always pretty boring. There are no sites to see along the way; it's juststraight corn and flat roads. There’s more corn than people here; it’s actually a fact.
This drive is very different for me. Growing up I always flew for vacation, and the few road trips we did were just up to Rhode Island where we’d sometimes rent a beach house in the summers.
Anyways, Lana drove the first half, so I just took over when we stopped for gas to finish it out. I normally don’t mind driving the whole time because I drive much faster than Lana, but Lana insisted she wanted to help out. She pretends she wanted to drive for equality, but let’s be real—she’s still traumatized from the time I hit 100 on the speedometer and flirted my way out of the ticket. After showing a smile and a little shoulder, the officer let me off with a warning.
I suppose she also might want to drive because I won’t let her chip in for the Airbnb. But Lana doesn’t come from much money, so it’s hard to expect her to pay for herself with the type of things I want to do. That’s why I usually just pay. This way, she doesn’t feel bad for saying no and she can experience things with me. Plus, I love charging my parent’s credit cards. They get mad and I love making them mad. So it’s a win-win, honestly.
The whole drive we’ve been listening to a bunch of old 2000’s music like Katy Perry, Nicki Minaj and Rihanna. We’ve been shouting the songs at the top of our lungs and laughing anytime one of our voices cracks, which is often. But about five songs ago, she stopped singing. I glance in her direction and turn the music down once I realize she’s asleep. She’s always on edge; she’s a rule follower and I’m not; and she knows this about me. Anytime I do something drastic without her knowing, she tends to question it and internally freak out a bit. I can’t help it though, I love messing with her. I tell myself I’m bringing her out of her shell to make myself feel better for torturing her, but I know I’m still pushing her to her limits.
She looks so calm and peaceful now. When I glance back to the road, I come up with the best plan. I’m gonna get her so good thistime. In front of me is a semi truck headed in the same direction, but it’s pulling another semi backwards, making it look like it’s coming straight for us. I’m gonna scream and shake Lana to scare her awake. What? I’ve seen it on Instagram before. It’s a funny prank, I didn’t just pull it out of my ass.
I go at a steady speed to make sure the truck is the perfect distance from us. Alright, here goes nothing.
“Ahhhhhhhhh!” I jolt her awake like we’re about to die. Method acting: unhinged driver edition. Lana wakes and jolts up immediately, seeing the truck.
“Ahhhhhh!” she screams back. “Oh my God!” She grabs her seatbelt with one hand, the other is reaching for the handle on the roof of the car. “Oh my… very funny.” She slaps my right arm not too hard, but hard enough.
I’m in the driver’s seat dying of laughter, tears forming in my eyes, I can barely see the road.
“You’re a menace to society,” she says smacking my arm. She’s not wrong. “I nearly shit my pants! You scared me half to death!”
I can’t breathe. The laughter won’t end. “You should have seen your face!”
Man that was worth it! I’m awful but I can’t help myself. She’s just too easy.
Once we cross the state line, I see a sign that says “Welcome to Colorful Colorado.” I pull over instantly, making Lana lean in my direction. The empty Starbucks cups in the cup holder almost go flying.
“What are you doing?” Lana asks a bit scared.
“Let’s take a picture!” I say pointing at the sign.
“Oh, bet!” she exclaims.
I put the car in park once I find a safe spot for us to stop. I get out with my phone and set it up on my tripod. I just hope it doesn’t fall this time. Once I stabilize it well, I press record to take a video, grab Lana’s hand, and run towards the sign.
We try running in a cute way so I can use the video for TikTok and later screenshot photos from it for Instagram. I’m a multitasker. It’s one of my specialties.
