His mouth twitched, maybe a smile, maybe a wince.“I won’t.But Dan said she’d want the perp to go away for the full ride, so...”He trailed off, then gestured for me to get into the elevator.“Can I ask you a few questions about the last few weeks?”
Last few weeks as in since that scum bag got out of prison.
As much as my brain wanted me to run—because that was a normal response—from the man who had starred in too many fantasies over the last couple of years, I walked into the elevator with him.
Our third elevator ride.The first one had been cautiously optimistic, as I had geared up for sex with a hot guy.The second ride had been scorching.Now, I was trying to force myself to feel something normal.
Nick wasn’t a threat.We’d had sex before, and he had been great.So, why was I feeling this way?My reactions made no sense even to me.
He cleared his throat.“We can go to the cafeteria, maybe?Or anywhere else you’ll feel more comfortable.I imagine it won’t be an easy conversation.”
Well, if he had looked into George’s file, then he’d know all about it.He’d know all about me and my ghosts, about all the ugliness that lived inside me.Maybe that was why I felt this need to run and hide, why I always ran.
Men didn’t want the nasty stuff.They wanted the pretty face, the banging body, the smiles, and the jokes.And here I was with the guy I couldn’t get out of my head, and he knew the ugliest parts of me.
I considered refusing, but George hadn’t gone after me— he went after Ljuba— and I couldn’t let that go.If I knew anything that would help put him away for good, then I’d answer whatever questions Nick had, no matter what ghosts this conversation would awaken.I’d just have to get drunk and laid afterward to silence them again.
“Fine,” I said.“But if the food sucks, I’m blaming you.”
“You’d blame me if hospital cafeteria food sucks?Does that mean I should take you out to a proper restaurant?”Nick teased.
I shook my head.A restaurant would feel too much like a date, and the last thing I wanted was to start hating restaurants just because I had to dig up the nastiest parts of my past.“Cafeteria is fine.I mean, they have ice cream, right?Can’t go wrong with ice cream.”
He looked at my lips.“You and your sweet tooth.”
Damn, did he remember that much of our night together?
The elevator dinged and opened, letting us out on the first floor.Nick guided me to the cafeteria, and as I had expected, there was ice cream to be had.Something sweet to make this day a little more bearable.
Nick found us a seat by the window, which overlooked the parking lot with trees slowly turning yellow and orange.He bought us both vanilla soft serve in cups—the only flavor not sold out.Clearly, the universe was conspiring against me.Wasn’t that just the story of my life?But at least it was cold and sweet, and my insides unclenched a fraction as I let the first spoonful melt on my tongue.
He had seemed surprised to see me in Ljuba’s room.Did that mean he hadn’t had the time to really dissect the files or had he not realized I had been one of the victims?
I mean, it’s not like he would’ve been thinking of me or assuming something like that would be in my past, I thought.
Nick didn’t say much at first, just watched me with those too-perceptive eyes, barely touching his own dessert.I could see his mind flipping through files, folders, flashcards—some part of me wondered if he’d rehearsed this conversation in the car.How to handle me, what to say when the trauma-case with the quick mouth started throwing up deflections.
“So,” he said at last, tracing a lazy circle in the condensation on his cup.“I know you probably don’t want to rehash all this, but did anything feel weird the last few weeks?”
For a second, I was that kid again, driven somewhere as rain pelted outside.“Just a little road trip,” he had said.“Just the two of us.”I had known immediately that something was wrong.
The old compulsion to laugh it off, to swallow the truth whole and drown the nastiness in sweets, alcohol and sex, surfaced.Well, I had my ice cream, so that was one part of the equation.
“There was a shift,” I said.“With Ljuba.A couple of months back, she started having more nightmares.Usually, sleeping on the balcony helps her, but this time it wasn’t enough.”
Nick’s brow furrowed—he was listening, really listening, like he was supposed to be taking notes but didn’t want to break the spell.
“She ended up staying at a friend’s house for a few days,” I said.“They have a backyard with a top-of-the-line security system and a massive fence.So, she just slept in a hammock or in the pool house.Indoors is the worst for her.She has to feel the air moving, or she starts feeling trapped, and then the nightmares sneak up on her.”I tried not to think too hard about what she was dreaming of.
Nick nodded, slow, probably filing away all the fears that normal people didn’t have.Even my nightmares had never been that bad, but I was older and Ljuba...Ljuba had been George’s favorite.
“You think someone was watching her?”
“I always think someone’s watching her,” I said, and looked down at my cup.“But yeah, she just didn’t seem like herself.She was jumpier than usual.”
“Did she say why?”he asked.
I finished the last bite of my ice cream, and Nick pushed his untouched cup toward me.Well, it might be just a cup of boring vanilla ice cream, but I wasn’t about to look a gift sugar in the teeth.
