“Just worried they’d come after you.I don’t know how many kids have escaped them, but I don’t think it’s the norm to run away the way you and your sisters had.Maybe if it wasn’t trafficking, then yeah, sure, but they were too organized to allow loose ends.”Again, his jaw twitched.
“They haven’t bothered us all these years,” I pointed out even as unease crept up my spine.I didn’t like where this was going, but I tried to keep my tone light.“Maybe I’m just too scary.Or too boring.Or they assume I’m too broken to be worth the trouble.”
Nick shook his head.“I think they didn’t want to go after you while you were kids because there was already too much fuss over you.Someone would’ve noticed if you vanished, and someone might’ve started asking the right kinds of questions.Then, you were quiet, so they forgot all about you, but it’s no coincidence Halton sold his house right after Katerina went to the police.And with George going away for kidnapping, they’ll remember that you know about it, too.You basically live alone, and you can ID those fuckers.”
I crossed my arms tight over my chest, making myself as small as I could without looking like I was folding in on myself.“No one’s come after me yet.”
Nick leaned forward, his elbows on the table, his voice barely above a whisper.“George tried to take Ljuba, and she wasn’t even the one who could name these people.”
I flinched, then snapped my jaw shut so hard I thought I chipped a molar.
“She’s softer than I am,” I said, but it sounded like an excuse even to me.
He let that hang for a second, then said, “If you were in their shoes, wouldn’t you try to shut you up before you could testify?”
I hated that he had a point.I hated even more that the thought had already crossed my mind.But I wasn’t about to admit that, so I rolled my eyes and pretended I was bored.
“I’m not testifying,” I said, which wasn’t even true.“Besides, they’d have to find me first.”
Nick snorted.“You live in the same apartment you’ve had for three years, and you use your real name everywhere.You’re not exactly off the grid, Nadya.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to hold the excuses in.As much as I wanted to pretend everything was fine and no one could hurt me, it just wasn’t true.I remembered too well just how much those people could hurt me.
He let the silence build before saying, “I’d feel better if you weren’t alone.”
I stared at him, surprised.“What, you want to babysit me now?”
He almost smiled.“I’m not above it.”
I pressed my lips together and looked out the window.We were passing through a nameless town, the lights blurring past so fast they looked like comets.I didn’t want to go home to my empty apartment and wait for something bad to happen.Staying with Vera wasn’t an option.She’d basically moved in with her fake fiancé to help him get custody of his little brother, so bringing danger into their home would be the opposite of what she was trying to do.
Then there was Ljuba who was spending most nights at her boyfriend’s apartment, and there wasn’t enough room for me there.I could ask my friend, Gulya, whose billionaire husband installed the best security money could buy and hired bodyguards to boot, but she had already helped Ljuba out when she was having nightmares.I didn’t want to impose.
“You can stay at my hotel,” Nick said quietly.“If you want.”
“You barely survived three nights sharing a room with me,” I joked as I gestured at his eye that just started showing a green edge around the dark purple.“Maybe you should stay at my place.Vera’s old room is empty, and I have a lot of locks on the door.”
What was I even saying?Why would I invite a man— a very tempting one at that— to my place?It was against every rule I had set for myself.
He blinked like he hadn’t expected that.“You sure?”
I nodded, and despite all the rule breaking, it felt right.This wasn’t some random guy I picked up at the bar.This was Nick.I trusted him.
The train rocked and rolled, wheels thudding through every bend.I watched the darkness outside, but really I was watching the reflection in the glass: me, hunched over, and Nick with his confidant, relaxed pose, and his observant eyes flicking every so often to the door, especially when someone tried to quietly pass through the train cart.Tried being the operative word because these walls and doors left a lot to be desired in the sound-proofing department.
Every now and then, Nick would glance at me, like he wanted to check if I was still breathing.Or if I changed my mind about letting him stay with me and would instead force him to sleep outside in the car because he was concerned enough for my safety to do it.
At some point, I kicked off my boots and curled up in my seat, knees under my chin.
“I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” he said softly, as if he could read my mind.
“It was supposed to be all behind me,” I voiced the one thought I hadn’t allowed myself to think every time it tried to creep in.
I was just so tired of living with all that ugliness hanging over me.Not just the idea that they might come after me but it all living in my head, coloring the world around me, forcing me to relive it again and again in my head.I wanted it all gone, but that seemed like a far-fetched dream.
