How could she forget that he’d not been in Society for years, that he didn’t know how swiftly the gossipmongers worked, and how precious a lady’s reputation was? When they were children, he’d thought nothing of lifting her skirt to see how badly she was scraped when she took a tumble. The adult world was so very different. She might be as uninformed as he if her aunt hadn’t schooled her.
“In all likelihood. Fitzwilliam will not be pleased when he hears.”
Sebastian furrowed his brow. “So you didn’t mention it to Fitzwilliam afterward?”
“Absolutely not.” She shook her head. “Or I wouldn’t have. I didn’t see him afterward.”
He grew incredibly still, so still that she wasn’t certain he continued to breathe. “Is something wrong?”
“Tristan crossed paths with him in the garden.”
“Oh dear Lord, do you think he saw us?” It would explain his not returning to the ballroom, not seeking her out for the last dance. She’d been so obsessed with what had occurred between her and Sebastian that she’d given little thought to the fact that she’d not seen Fitzwilliam again. In truth, she’d been relieved because she feared he’d take one look at her and know what had transpired. In spite of Tristan’s assurances that she didn’tlookas though she’d been kissed, she’d certainlyfeltas though she had been well and thoroughly seduced.
“If he had, would he have not said?”
“Of course. He would have confronted you—us. His pride would not have allowed him to overlook such a transgression without seeking some sort of satisfaction. Not a duel, of course, but a round in the boxing ring perhaps. So he did not bear witness to our inappropriate behavior. Of that I’m sure. Still, I must tell him. I can’t let him hear it from the gossips.”
“He won’t be pleased.”
“No, he won’t.” Neither would her father.
“Mary, I’m sorry for whatever trouble I’ve brought you.”
“It’s my fault. I should have never followed you into the garden.” She rose. “Please don’t get up.”
He ignored her, grimacing as he struggled to his feet. It took everything within her not to rush over and assist him.
“I do hope you will rest,” she told him, “and ensure your wound does not become infected.”
“I’ve had quite a bit of experience dealing with wounds. I assure you, I will be well in no time at all. Mary, I owe you—my brothers owe you—and yet it seems we have brought you little more than trouble. I regret any embarrassment you might suffer because of my bad judgment in the garden.”
Bad judgment.What did she expect him to say? That the kiss devastated him? That it left him yearning for another? That it made him realize she was no longer a child? Could a kiss possess that much power?
“I shall be fine,” she lied. “After all, it was only a kiss.”
Chapter 16
Only a kiss.She had used the phrase before when referring to what had passed between them and added the little caveat that it meant nothing. Nothing.
As his carriage rolled through the London streets, Sebastian wondered what he had expected. That she would confess to being devastated by it, yearned for another? That the kiss he’d delivered in the garden was far more powerful than the bold brush of his lips over hers that he’d delivered at the abbey ruins all those many years ago?
“You’re brooding,” Tristan said.
He looked up at his brother sprawled on the bench across from him. “I’ve been brooding for twelve years.”
“No, this is different. I suspect it has something to do with the words that passed between you and Mary before she took her leave.”
He wondered what it would be like to not have such a profound connection with another person. Lonely, he decided. Much more lonely than he was now. And at the same time, it would be a bit of a relief to know that one’s moods and the reasons behind them could not be so easily deciphered.
“I’m simply exhausted.”
“Then we should return to the residence. Calling on Fitzwilliam could be for naught. I don’t recall seeing any blood on him.”
“But you also admitted to being in the shadows and not having a clear view of him.”
“What would be his motive?”
“Perhaps he saw me kiss Mary.”
