Which was absolutely absurd, especially as it was apparent he’d experienced none of the mind-numbing pull she had. It was obvious he’d not been able to get away from her fast enough, had recognized their encounter as a mistake. Strange how his escape had hurt far worse than Chadbourne’s turning his back on her when she’d believedhe was stepping up to show Society that her father’s actions changed nothing between them.
As she went through her morning ablutions, washing her face, unplaiting, brushing, and plaiting her hair, and changing into her simple blue frock, she fought not to remember the devastation that had hit her mother when all of Society had literally and figuratively turned their backs on them, left them to make their own way without any assistance or support. Her mother’s decline had begun that night and she blamed thetonas much as her father for destroying such a proud, kind woman.
When she cast off those musings, she found herself anticipating seeing Benedict at breakfast, hoped a chair next to him had been reserved for her—in spite of his hasty retreat. She would find a way to laugh it off, to give the impression she saw it as merely the first of several lessons, so he would realize she wouldn’t take seriously whatever emotions might rise to the fore with his nearness, his touch, his tutoring.
But when she made her way to the dining room, it was to find the chair at the head of the table vacant, and it struck her almost like a physical blow. “Is Benedict”—the women all stared at her—“Beast not joining us for breakfast?”
“He was out until the wee hours,” Jewel said. “I ’spect he’s having a lie-in.”
She imagined him sprawled over a bed, one larger than normal, one especially designed and built to accommodate his size. Did he wear a nightshirt? She very much doubted it. At the thought of him quite possibly not wearing anything at all, her mouth went dry. She didn’t want to see him wearing nothing. Well, maybe not wearing a shirt. Would his arms be as ropy and sinewy as they felt? Would his chest be an assortment of contours? She rather envisioned him modeling for a sculptor who was creating statues of Greek gods.
Although she had little appetite, she filled a plate withthe offerings from the sideboard, took her seat, and forced herself to eat as though her stomach wasn’t knotted up with misgivings and doubts.
“You look troubled, lass.”
She jerked her gaze over to Jewel and wondered if she’d ever known anyone who gave the impression of truly caring as much as this lady of the night did. She needed to master that technique but had been raised to never show exactly what she felt, especially when it involved extreme emotions. Even during the reception she’d received at her last ball, she’d kept her chin up, had refused to crumple beneath the weight of their rejection. “Benedict mentioned going to the dressmaker at ten. I wasn’t certain if perhaps he’d changed his mind.”
“Oh,” Hester said on an excited breath. “Is he getting you a frock to hang your dreams on?”
What she was pursuing wasn’t her dream. It was simply an alternative to a nightmare. But she didn’t want to go into all that, didn’t want them to know anything about her past. They might be sinners, but it didn’t mean they wouldn’t be horrified if they learned the truth of her father. She forced herself to smile. “I suppose so, yes.”
“Can’t wait to see what it looks like.”
It would be provocative, sensual, and no doubt comprised of very little fabric.
“What is your dream?” Hester’s brow furrowed. “What is it you’re wanting to do if you’re not doing it now?”
Before she could answer, Jewel said, “I suspect Beast is merely showing his appreciation to Althea for having to deal with you lot.”
Seeing the compassion in her eyes, Althea knew he’d confided in the madam regarding her ambitions.
“After we’re finished with breakfast, Althea, I wondered if you might give me a few minutes in my office. And, yes,pet, if he told you he’d take you to the dressmaker at ten, then that’s what he’ll do. He’s not one to break his word.”
When she descended the stairs later that morning, it was to find him waiting in the foyer for her, and she wasn’t particularly happy with the gladness that swept through her at the sight of him. It was imperative that she remember they had abusinessarrangement. Nothing good would come of developing any deep affection for him. He had a use for her. She had one for him. Only their signatures on parchment bound them. In three months they’d each go their own way and probably never cross paths again.
As he was wont to do, he studied her intently and she was grateful that her cheeks—which had fairly ignited during her candid discussion with Jewel—had finally cooled. At his behest, the madam had instructed her on various methods she could use to avoid getting with child. She was grateful for the information, but it had also brought home the reality of what she was doing.
Without a word, he opened the door for her, and she stepped out beneath the eaves. Rain was splattering the pavement. A hansom waited at the end of the walk. She suspected he’d gone in search of it to spare her having to stroll through the cold and wet.
Bringing up the hood on her cloak, she dashed to the hansom with his hand on the small of her back the entire way. She didn’t even have to stop before he was swinging her up and inside the carriage and settling in beside her.
Althea was beginning to look forward to the moments when they traveled in a hansom cab together. Benedict took up so much room that she had little choice except to be snuggled against him. While she had her cloak and he had his greatcoat, she could still feel the warmth radiating from him into her. She kept her attention forward, to the unbarredview of the scenery that the rain painted dark and gray. Because he hadn’t even bothered with a proper greeting, had said not one word to her, she decided to poke the beast. “I rather enjoyed last night’s lesson.”
“It wasn’t a bloody lesson.”
She glanced over to see him looking at her, his jaw so tense that his back teeth had to be aching from the force with which he was biting down.
“But you taught me to kiss.” To feel, to melt, to want, to need.
“It shouldn’t have happened.”
“At some point it was on your lesson plan, surely.”
“You think I have planned out exactly what I’m going to show you?”
“I would have thought so, yes. It’ll save us wasting time. I’ve planned out my lessons for your ladies.”
He seemed both stunned and disgruntled. “I told you. I find a lady’s words seductive.”
